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NotSoSilentHill

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  • Gender
    Woman
  • Location
    Australia.
  1. Basically the title. How do I bring up with my Mum, 'Hey, your queer, underachieving daughter thinks she's mentally disordered/ill and wants you to deal and pay for expensive therapy but not making a big deal of it while you're also dealing with your own mother's rapid deterioration, and a shitty marriage!" On top of the guilt I'd be putting on her shoulders, talking and being honest about my feelings is the hardest thing in the world. I'm really private, but whatever's wrong with me is getting so unbearable, but I'm horrified at the thought of talking about it, but I really want to. So. I don't know. What do I do?
  2. Before using mental health forums, I didn't even realize you could have a bad therapist, or not get along with one, and that some people have to meet and 'try out' several before finding one they can work with. I'm considering seeing a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist/whatever I get referred to from a GP, mainly for, what I'm pretty sure is social anxiety disorder, possible avoidant personality disorder, and a couple other things (but whatever, I'm not doctor, I'll leave it to them). Put VERY simply, talking is the cure, but talking is my problem and just meeting with one therapist is daunting enough and if I don't get it right the first time, I'll probably give up for a while, if not completely. So, did you get a compatible therapist/psychologist/whatever on your first go? Or did you have to see a few first? How many before you found the right one?
  3. As the title says. I'm in Australia, if any Aussies have experience with this. I don't really want to make a huge deal out of this, and I don't want to go through counseling and them judging me, I just want some pills to help me get through the school year. How do I do this? I don't have my own medicare card, and Mum might get supicious if I ask for a transfer to my own because I'm so dependent on her, I've never been to a doctors appointment without her. I don't really know how to explain to her that I'm alright, I just want some pills to pick me up. I don't really want to tell her. And even if I managed to get a prescription, how much would it cost, and do I need an adult to get it? Urgh, what do I do?
  4. When I say 'like', I don't mean a petty teenage crush, I really legitimately like her. A lot. It drives me crazy sometimes. I don't know how to explain, but crazy about her (man, I hate that expression). Long story sort, my friend blatantly asked her "..Do you like girls?" Her reply: "I like girls... But I'm not bisexual. I'm straight." I like her so badly. I'm, for some reason, still clinging to some small hope. I've liked her for a while. We're friends, it started slow because of my social anxiety, but it's starting to go really well (kind of, stupid anxiety). I really enjoy being her friend, ignoring the romantic feeling aspect. I'm in three classes with her, and she hangs out within my circle of friends, I can't avoid her, and I don't want to. I don't want to stop liking her, but I know I have literally 0 chance of being with her, and clinging onto this will stop me from potentially being with another person, and I know it's only going to hurt me, it already has. I have a really hard time of letting go sometimes. It took me a year to get over someone I was never with, and from time to time, I still check in on two others, but I don't have romantic feelings for them, I guess it's just residual. I have a huge problem with connecting with people, and feeling like I'm really on the same page with them, and this girl makes me feel more connected and not emotionless. Do you get why I don't want to let go? I really just want to be her friend. How can I get rid of the romantic feelings without damaging the friendship, or myself?
  5. Basically what the title says. Also, how old we you at the time. Obviously looking for responses from teenager years more than anything.
  6. I need to know how to hide small burns on my arm, they are on the under side, and in the middle. Bracelets won't reach, and it's hot weather so no long sleeves (plus long sleeves would be extremely out of character for me). I can't use band-aids because I used one before and it pulled some of the blistering skin off and exposed it and so I have to take extra care of that not to get infected now, and I don't have any large ones. Some of them have small blisters, all have sensitive tissue. I don't want to put make-up on in case they don't take to it very well, or they pop and the make-up gets in there, but my make-up isn't strong, so I'd need counselor and foundation and it might be too heavy for it. I'm really stuck, I don't know what to do. One of them has the shape of a lighter. They're obvious. I have anti-septic cream I can use throughout the day.
  7. Since this post is about two topics, that aren't really related, I didn't know where to put this, but I didn't want to accidentally trigger anyone with self-harm talk. Sorry. Anyway, I have recognised that I have some form of social-anxiety, and I've been self-harming all through my teens (started at 13, almost 17). I don't believe they're related. My self-harm started because of being depressed, which has gotten a lot better and I wouldn't say I am anymore. Since recognizing the social anxiety, I've been taking mental notes of what happens when it hits. I blush really bad (my skin is very fair and so I literally turn into a tomato), my face and neck get itchy, my palms sweat, and I become too shy to talk, sometimes I won't even be able to think at all as I go blank, and occasionally I shake from nerves. I can't say definite times it will strike, but people with naturally amazing social skills, attractive people, when I'm critisized, authority figures, people I don't know talking to me, and unexpeced social interaction are a few. It's interfering with my life, like I can't ask some teachers questions (I'm in my final year of school, asking questions is essential), and I just can't seem to break through it to make new friends (that hang in my circle of friends already, or completely new ones), or do things that put me in a position of potentially making me look stupid. As for self harm, I've been self harming for somewhere between 3 to 4 years, and for the majority of it, it was cutting. Within the last year I've adopted smoking, and last night I tried burning myself. Because of self-destructive patterns I've recognized in myself, I know burning will now become another habit. I don't know if the burning is just 'trying something new', or the severity is escalating. But in saying all of this, both of these things aren't really bad. The social anxiety doesn't cause me to have panic attacks, I've never even had one. I've only ever been close once and that was a year ago. There are some situations where it's not too bad, and I can even control it. With self-harm, the cuts have always been minor, and at two to three week intervals give or take, the smoking is on average once a week, and while the burns haven't had time to fully heal, they have calmed down dramatically in the 24 since I did them, and if they aren't practically gone by tomorrow, I can pass them off as mosquito bites. I'm just kind of stuck. I don't really know what to do. I've always been like this and I live with it okay, but I don't want to be this way forever, but this way isn't that bad and because of that I don't know if anyone will care, or put effort into me, or take me seriously or whatever. Also, as much as I want to get over these, I don't want to do it by myself, I don't want all these years to go unnoticed, y'know? Any advice on what to do?
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