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About mejeba

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    pregnant with future mischief

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  • Location
    BC, Canada
  • Interests
    Performing- music, theatre; Creating/building Art Furniture-well it's my job, too... my kids, my DDH; my cats & chickens; writing, growing organic food; this dying planet whom we don't deserve; swimming in a clean warm lake with mountains all around; finding a way to like myself, really- no phoney affirmations.

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  1. thank you much, VE and olga. I'll try the cookie thing but I've never done it and I'm not too savvy on the computer. Do I keep it restricted to this site or is it general? I don't know what I may lose elsewhere.
  2. ...also, I've been attempting to change my avatar and the setting gets changed but it doesn't transate to my avatar in the forum. Not a big deal but I do like to change it.
  3. February frosts imbedded....

  4. Hi. Would it be possible to change my name from apterix to mejeba? mejeba is from my real name and I don't relate to apterix anymore. Thanks!
  5. right. privacy, privacity, more privacy. and blocks- most ppl blocked. if i want to see how someone's doing, i just go to their page. very little info on public profile. i don't use fb much, tho. and then nobody has anything to say to me. that's depressing, and i'm very inclined to drop it. i don't want to be obsessing about ppl not caring to get in touch with me. don't answer the phone or want to talk to them, anyway, heh
  6. I had bipolar symptoms as a kid, which may or may not have become the illness if my life experiences had been different, but the combination of genes, extreme emotional sensitivity, and repeated trauma set the stage.
  7. I have these ad-nauseum. My pdoc says it's sort of a type od OCD and has finally convinced me to try Sertraline and recommended that I use the DBT skills that I'm currently in training for. I must say, I have found some improvement
  8. feeling better since adding Sertraline for the obsessions. Dare I hope?

  9. I'm looking for info on Saphris too- whether it's available in Canada. I can't find a single reference on the net.
  10. Sadly, I'm frozen in fear when it comes to even contemplating a job interview, let alone the pressure of holding any job. Just too sensitive to stress at this time, and stress develops into overwhelm and anxiety in a nanosecond. I work at home as an artist and drag my ass with that too, so it's not just social phobia, but when it comes to doing a show I'm super hyper and confident. Then I crash. It's a performance thing. I'm applying for disability right now, and would like to do some volunteering in mental health some day. I like the peer support that happens in my DBT class. I feel not so guilty if I do volunteer work while getting disability. Paying it back/forward or something.
  11. My group is a mix of borderline, bipolar and multiple trauma. We all benefit greatly from the material, but I find that it's being in the class where I get the most out of it. The written work, homework etc. is boring to me so I don't do it much, but I'm finding that the skills are slowly working their way into my life.
  12. Clozapine seems to be the cadillac of AP's. The blood tests are annoying and drooling is annoying and sedation is VERY annoying (must see about trying Lamictal), but it works, time and again, when all the other AP's fail. I don't know why ppl would take it if not for psychosis. oh yes, weight gain happens but excercise works well for that.
  13. I get that a lot, much like Maceo said. Shame and fear, and a hatred of others. I'm afraid I'll show my feelings all over my face with compulsive dramatic gestures - and afraid that I'll blurt stuff out that I'll regret later, just from being so uncomfortable. If anyone comes close to me and asks questions I feel panicky and unable to think. I tend to keep saying " I dunno, I dunno", and can't bear to be asked to do anything.
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