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About gringatica

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    neat freak

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  • Location
    Costa Rica
  • Interests
    reading, cooking, movies, drinking, my husband, my pets, especially yellow Lab named "Dude"
  1. hey girl, the past 4 nites I upped my imiprimine to 20mg and now tonight I am going on the 25mg. the farmacia filled it correctly this time. I am almost to a month on it. seemed like I was really noticeably better initially, but some of the honeymoon effect is over. Still hard to motivate out of the house, to do things with others, to take a shower. but I think the depression compared to jan feb march...way better. I really bottomed out. I am in this for the long haul, don't much like switching meds and the whole wait and see trial and error.. I will say my appetite is low. Thinking I'm losing some%
  2. there are other TCA's that are good for those who seem treatment resistant. I am just a month in on a small dose of Tofranil-Imiprimine. I take at night and I take the Prozac-fluoxitine in the a.m. I have been on many meds. I haven't even listed them all in my signature, after all, I started with my mental shit around 1973! when the anxiety gets bad I do a bit of Clonazepam. There are many options in each class, good luck. IT sucks the worst with SSRI's that take 4-8 weeks before you even know if the side effects will lesson and the benefits kick in. The TCA's are a bit faster in response.
  3. This is a serious topic. I have to MAKE myself shower. I go for 5 days....I don't go anywhere, I don't sweat too much...I think maybe I am not cured of my depression or the meds aren't working property UNTIL I at least have motivation to shower..what is anyone else's take on meds working=motivation for acts of daily living?
  4. low self esteem could be the bottom line. Knowing that you are going to be less than the others. Less interesting, less of a conversationalist, preoccupied with appearance, it is easier to stay home. I am voicing how it is for me. I think if I had high self esteem I could conquer anything, participate in anything. Shoot, coulda played sports or taken up an instrument. Where does self esteem come from? Parenting? Siblings? I sure didn't get what many others got.
  5. Hola Kittybrain. I have been thinking of you and I haven't checked into the forum in a while. I am still doing the 10mg of imiprimine at bedtime, with the 400 of Neurontin for my TMJ pain, and doing only 20mg of Proxac/flueoxitine in the a.m. I am off the Wellbutrin and I must say that compared to coming off Lexapro last Oct. it was a cakewalk. Very few bothersome symptoms of withdrawal. Some headache, some vertigo, but once I was off it, it was no big deal. I am feeling like the imiprimine is working, I knew wellbutrin had stopped working for me. I'd been on it forever. I don't see the pdoc until end of august, so I guess I will just do what I'm doing until then. They filled the script with 10mg imiprimine instead of his written script of 25 mg. I get a refill next week, so I will talk to the farmacia about that. Could have been their error, although I am o.k. with starting low and adding on later. Especially knowing the fluoxitine increases effects. I think I am getting from your post that you are better. I know my depression is not so dire. This may be about as good as it gets! Socially, I am getting out of the house a bit more, still not bathing but 1x every 4-5 days. My husband and I have travel plans to go to Montreal and then Denver and Texas in July for visiting family. I may need the clonazipan drops for that. Even just one drop in a spoon of water can make a difference in my anxiety. I am still picking my scalp. oh well. want to hear from you!
  6. kittybrain, I have not strarted my imiprimine. I am scared somewhat about maybe the wellbutrin not being out of my system and if it is safe yet to not be taking it, and if it is safe to start the imiprimine. i don't trust the pdoc i saw, he said i could take wellbutrin every other day, and then start the imipr. then i read that is NOT how to come off wellbutrin...it is scary to me.. and i don't want to take the added 20mg of prozac as i think 40 would make my hair fall out even more than th e 20mg. i usually second guess a pdoc when i don't think they know much. i need to know how to kick start this.
  7. tell the hair folks you suffer with OCD cuz everyone knows what that is and frankly i'd be upfront, tell them to just cut your hair and pay no attention to your scabs. I have a head full of those right now, but I cut my own hair, wear it really short, it is really no one's business but yours and your pdocs. i love picking my scalp, and may never stop. pdoc is clueless...wanted to have me checked for psoriasis and lice! duh.
  8. I have a little self composed ditty, about 8 notes that loop. A mindless, continuous loop. I can't seem to get a doc. to give a shit, or to give a shit about my scalp picking. Of which I have developed dozens of scabs. I have decided both activities are methods to calm myself. I am a constant worrier, filled to the brim with anxiety about everything, despite meds..... Now I did my fair share of recreational drugs and hallucinogens back in the hippie days. I have thought maybe I fucked up the balance of neurochemicals in my brain. ALthough I was self medicating since I was born- Milk of Magnesia, aspirin, paragoric, always had something wrong. THen I was old enough to buy drugs! yipee. So maybe we can't fix this looping music, but maybe try to enjoy it. Music is a good and relaxing thing.
  9. Dear Ven, interesting phenomenon, when I read the stories of others, I feel such pain for them and less for myself. That in itself is a beautiful thing. You will have a long hard road ahead to face and beat the PTSD. Coupled with the physical alterations and challenges. You may need to learn how to allow others to serve you, take care and nurture you. This is a karmic blessing as others get just as much out of that exchange. You need to mourn the loss of your old self. Get into therapy as soon as you can. stick with it. You will come out the other side and be a more loving valuable human being. You never know how you can serve others eventually with your history. chants and prayers sent your way.
  10. kittybrain, we are really very similar in our history. i have spent a lot of time feeling like a waste of space just waiting to die. not leaving the house, not bathing....etc. i have been on and off every med for depression since I was 20...I am 61. in and out of therapy, social phobe since I came out of my mothers womb. When I worked as a special ed. teacher and case mgr. I worked with asbergers and autism and I think I could have been diagnosed with one or the other had there been such an illness back in the 1950's! It is a battle to engage in life and interaction with others. Parties, small talk, mingling...I get panic just thinking about it. So I read the imiprimine is a good drug that works for those who have a depression that seems to have become drug resistant. My fingers are crossed for both of us. I have never had seratonin syndrome and don't want it. I will pay very close attention to the fluoxetine and the imiprimine, although I don't start that 10mg dose until next week, after I am done with wellbutrin. We are a bit different as I will be on 40mg fluoxetine and 10mg of imiprimine. I don't think we should worry about this combo. I have read and heard the imiprimine will have a positive effect quickly...within a week. Unlike the SSRI's that one waits for 4-8 weeks to know if it is working. Keep us posted. I am personally very interested in your case as it is similiar to mine.
  11. Good morning kittybrain. Thanks for your reply. I am somewhat surprised to not see other replies. Members here are well versed in a huge variety of meds., so I expected there would be more insight for me. I have already increased the fluoxetine-day 4 and doing o.k., a little vertigo, I would not want to drive at this point. and am doing wellbutrin every other day as pdoc suggested. I am wondering about that too. If instead of every other day for a week, I should do a period of time with a couple days skipped. The pdoc was young, works in the socialized medicine system and although I'd prepared an excellent translated couple of pages of my history, meds. and concerns, he really just skimmed the page and half. That pissed me off a bit, as I took a lot of time doing that work to make the appt. easier for all, since my spanish is good, but not good enough to speak to a pdoc with all the specific vocabulary to mental illness. He did not address my scalp picking, which is extemely compulsive and I have a scalp full of scabs at this point. AND, it isn't like I have a phone number to call his office, as he works at the govt. socilaized hospital and one doesn't just phone there! It is a huge bunch of hoops to jump through, just to get appts.. I wish I could just call him and voice some concerns and questions. SInce not, I need help from others on this forum. Well, thanks for listening.
  12. Saw a Pdoc today. tapering off wellbutrin xl150, then will be adding a nighttime dose-10mg imipramine (TCA) to fluoxetine which he is upping from 20mg- to 40mg ( 20mg. in a.m. then -20mg around noon,). HE spoke some English, mostly Spanish, and I think he mentioned something about fluoxetine can increase effect of imipramine but should not be a problem at this low a dose. I am wondering if anyone has experience with these two meds, together. I have done some internet searching for info. and get conflicting info. thanks.
  13. I began to come back from the depths of depression hell with brand name prozac. Then I found I could get it as part of the social med system here in costa rica. Got the fluoxetina a lab here in costa rica makes it "Raven" Labs. Have been doing this generic for a couple weeks and it is a progressive downward slide and I am not doing well. I really wanted it to work due to the cheap almost free cost. I am bummed it isn't working. I can't believe it isn't working. Why not? I roo am back to not leaving the house, not leaving my room often. Guess I will pay the piper and get the full priced at the farmacia in town. shit. I also am trying estradiol patches and the hormone connection to my depression is very real. I do believe it is helping. But I'm ready to bust open a capsule and see if there is even anything in that effing generic pill. It may be a placebo and that is not cool. Govt. doesn't give a crap if they are providing this shit that doesn't work to depressed people. Now I have to start over.
  14. happy people piss me off. I can't even be around them. Hoping this all changes when the meds work. shit, i am not around anyone right now...my husband and animals I am cool with them. i like this forum a lot. until i am happy, if that is even in the realm of possibility, I am jealous of happy people too, why can't I have their brain instead of my fucked up brain. It is like they speak a different language or they are a different culture. It is that foreign to me. I know this thread was about successful people..without happiness, there is no success. so I can't relate to that either.
  15. I am wondering if one works better than the other? what the differences were, is one more effective? I am on the xl but years ago was on sr and now can't remember why I'm not still on the SR or what the differences were. I'm beginning to think wellbutrin xl is like a placebo...not lifting the depression and social withdrawal but did add proxac 20mg 16 days ago. waiting for that to work. such a crapshoot. any experiences with having tried both would be appreciated. thanks
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