hisfilth

History : I was raped in december but dont remember anything bc i believe i was drugged. The guy told the cops it was consensual. i am currently trying to get my case taken by the DA. Ok so last night, I had a dream..but it was kind of weird feeling for a dream. I dreamt i had a memory surface from the night i was raped. and in the dream I remembered someone else was there . In the dream it seemed like a real memory but its impossible because i have never had any memories from that night. Now Im just feeling paranoid but also devastated for some reason. I kind of want to ask the cops about it since they havent done much with the dna since he admitted to "consensual sex" . Im scared they will think im crazy and making stuff up since Ive only ever said that I dont remember anything. I just have to know why that came in my mind and wont leave. am i crazy?

Dyed my dark brown hair BRIGHT purple. woo

I should really try this. Sometimes I swear my mood goes through a whole freaking spectrum in about 30 minutes.

Here are my goals for today: -Take two exams -refill Lexapro, eek -finish resume and send to career coach person -upload my lab calculations for class...EDIT: I REALLY DONT WANT TO DO THIS TODAY EDIT 2: I DID IT YAY Is that enough? I always think there should be more... :/

Personally, I believe if you are abusing drugs that could harm you badly but you could stop by smoking weed...then do it. Yes its a band aid. but band aids heal sometimes? The way you describe your using...it seems like you arent denying much. You realize that you still wont be sober. So yeah. just my personal opinion.

I have always struggled with feelings of someone watching me or following me...to me its just anxiety. I am fearful of these things thus my anxiety tries to make me feel they are happening. I think the level of distress you feel about these thoughts is whats important. Personally, in my home i dont care. Unless you do something that is extremely troublesome for the federal government or you have used your webcam to broadcast on the internet, the chances of someone spying on you that way are pretty much non existent. If I am out in a dark parking lot...yeah i pay attention and try to be safe because that situation actually could be dangerous if my worries proved to be true. I don't even think its a bad thing to have these thoughts but if it starts to control your life...then yeah...problem!

I am having issues with my sexual assault case...its been 6 weeks and i still dont have the results from my rape kit. And because the detective said he wanted to wait until the results came in to even try to question the man who assaulted me...well nothing has been done. So he is just living life. Not concerned. Maybe he thinks he got away with it. He lives across the hall from me. I cant stand it anymore. I need the cops to move forward. I dont feel safe. I dont think they should be cool with having not even questioned a suspect...i mean he could be doing it to others. At this point I feel like they arent even looking into it and are just waiting for me to stop asking so they dont have to deal with it. I know that people say it takes a while...but It shouldnt be taking this long. Has anyone ever had a similiar issue? Should I call the DA? should I get an attorney? I need to feel safe in my home......