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About Bipolar_Flower
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Woman
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California, United States
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Mental health, anime, daydreaming, animals, animations.
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Thank you Gibson! Yea it's not the meds. I've done this since I was 2-3 so it's not recent behavior. I'm just getting curious about it lol I do it both when I am stressed and excited. I guess it's not tourettes because while I do it a lot, I also listen to music a lot. Music=stims but otherwise I don't do it like a constant thing-except when I drink caffeine (I'm caffeine sensitive lol) and I've been doing that a lot lately too. Things make much more sense now! Again thanks Gibson!
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- stimming
- rediagnosed
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Just when my therapist had become my best friend we talked on the phone.... she told me she thinks I'm 100% healthy and just have issues because of being severely neglected as a baby no bipolar no nothing. And then she said she had other patients with bipolar who really just had emotional issues and she had them slowly get off their meds. I wanted to cry. I felt so cheated and misunderstood. All this time she didn't get it. MY MOTHER NEGLECTED ME FOR A REASON. She has mental illness I know because I've met her. It's genetic. I cried when I got off the phone. I felt like all these months were wasted. I was so hurt. I have suffered clinical depression I have suffered MANIA. I have suffered from aspergers my whole life. And all these things-are meaningless to her. I just feel heartbroken.... Every and I mean EVERY other mental health professional I've met has known I had at the very least depression and some form of social issue. I went back to my old therapist from when I was 13-the one who originally diagnosed me with aspergers. He is very sweet to me and understanding. I don't understand why i viewed him as a monster when I was younger. He gets that what I have is real. Hes the one who first diagnosed me with anything other than stereotypies and ADHD. He gets me. He understands. I'm happy to be seeing him again.
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I'm so sorry about what you've been through. *hugs* Welcome to crazyboards! I'm Mileena. I suffer from mainly bipolar and aspergers. I hope you enjoy it here!
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- PTSDBPDDID
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This could have been worded better if you didn't mean to be rude. Because that is how it comes across. Plus, this thread is not yours alone: other members learn things when they read it. So we like to give as complete answers as we can. Oh I'm really sorry I wasn't trying to be rude. I didn't mean for it to be.
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As you can see in the previous post I made (Well actually I gave the wrong age) when I was 13 I was diagnosed with aspergers but rejected the diagnosis. I stopped seeing the therapist due to financial issues at the time (I think it had to do with insurance) so only my school knew which I started isolating myself from people and stopped attending and getting independent study-excuse used was mental illness. And I kept it a secret from my psychiatrist and my new therapist didn't know... Till now. And now so does my psyche. This actually explains my bullying filled childhood. And also why I say the wrong thing in conversation. And so many other things. I once asked this girl who came up to me "Are you gay?" Because I'm gay and wearing a gay pride glove and she just randomly came up to me. And nobody ever came up and talked to me before that day. So I figured it was a reasonably question to ask. She laughed and said "Wow that was really blunt." I was embarrassed. I awkwardly introduced her to my own friends. I didn't know that wasn't something you did. I didn't realize it at the time but I realize now how uncomfortable she was. I was just so awkward the entire conversation. I stopped going to school shortly after so that friendship didn't last-lol like it had a chance. Also in the NOS section you'll see I made a post about tourettes. But now I'm thinking.... maybe it's stimming? Can someone explain stimming to me? I flick my thumb and index finger against each other with my other fingers pointing up and moving when there is stimuli. I also pace when I listen to music-I can't sit when I do it it's too much. Anyone?
- 7 replies
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- stimming
- rediagnosed
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Yesterday was hard for me... and today is no better. I was going to cut myself but then I talked myself into getting drunk instead to get rid of the pain. so I had drunken half a frozen cocktail and was going to drink some of my dads beers but stopped myself and waited a few hours to call my mom. I'm in so much pain right now. It hurts. Nothing that used to is bringing me joy. I want to cry. What do I do. I started taking my meds again 2 days ago. But I'm still hurting. I was even depressed before I forgot to take my meds for 3 days. Idk what to do. I can't take this. I haven't felt this bad in a while. I don't want to go back to this. Help me? What do I do? Any ideas?
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- depression
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Here to introduce myself
Bipolar_Flower replied to Beavcoon's topic in Introductions - Who The Hell Are You?
Hello Charles. I'm Mileena! Yes my real name is finally out there people lol. Named after a Mortal Kombat character (Yes my birth dad-I'm adopted-is a video game lover lol). My diagnosis' are also in my signature. It's nice to meet you! I hope you like it here! -
Forgetting to take meds - symptom?
Bipolar_Flower replied to werehorse's topic in Bipolar Spectrum Disorder - The Pole Dance
I have this problem right now. It's been 3 days since I've taken my meds-earlier I thought was having like a simple partial seizure or something but I realized it was withdrawal. And when I forget once. I'll probably do it again. It starts a pattern. This isn't the first time the past 2 months I've done this-well first time it was a total of 3 days in a row. -
You guys seemed to have missed a post. I said I realized I haven't take my pills in 3 days and I'm just having withdrawal. I need to take them tonight. I also said I still wanted to hear about what's it's like to have a seizure (As I've never fully understood). I know these aren't seizures. My childhood ones who knows what they were and I honestly don't care as they don't affect me now-the one I just had was just withdrawal. It was a scary feeling.
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Also I used to suddenly get dizzy, fall (Like for real fall), and have the same sensation only a little different and my vision would blur and I'd become unresponsive. I have not done this in a while but I was wondering if that's a seizure. Is it? And a few times as a little kid I remember blanking out and suddenly gain back consciousness and I had wandered away from school. Is that a seizure? Also once I went blind for a short time. Everything was white. And felt vibrations through out my body. I would like to add though I was anorexic then and had overdosed on this yucky laxative tea (It was called Cali Girl Dieters tea or something). Would this be a seizure? I just want to know if they were or not.
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I felt this wave of sensation come over my body and I felt suddenly light on my feet. I almost fell because I got a little disoriented. I felt this anxious feeling in my chest. It was a scary feeling. I keep trying to research what these are. They started 2 months ago. They are not a constant feeling and they happen like 1-2 times a week. Is this a type of seizure? What's a seizure like? Should I seek help seizure or not seizure? P.S. Pardon my ignorance. I don't understand seizures. My dad had them when he was a kid but he's sleeping right now so I can't ask him.