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About Bipolar_Flower

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    California, United States
  • Interests
    Mental health, anime, daydreaming, animals, animations.

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  1. Thank you Gibson! Yea it's not the meds. I've done this since I was 2-3 so it's not recent behavior. I'm just getting curious about it lol I do it both when I am stressed and excited. I guess it's not tourettes because while I do it a lot, I also listen to music a lot. Music=stims but otherwise I don't do it like a constant thing-except when I drink caffeine (I'm caffeine sensitive lol) and I've been doing that a lot lately too. Things make much more sense now! Again thanks Gibson!
  2. Just when my therapist had become my best friend we talked on the phone.... she told me she thinks I'm 100% healthy and just have issues because of being severely neglected as a baby no bipolar no nothing. And then she said she had other patients with bipolar who really just had emotional issues and she had them slowly get off their meds. I wanted to cry. I felt so cheated and misunderstood. All this time she didn't get it. MY MOTHER NEGLECTED ME FOR A REASON. She has mental illness I know because I've met her. It's genetic. I cried when I got off the phone. I felt like all these months were w
  3. I'm so sorry about what you've been through. *hugs* Welcome to crazyboards! I'm Mileena. I suffer from mainly bipolar and aspergers. I hope you enjoy it here!
  4. This could have been worded better if you didn't mean to be rude. Because that is how it comes across. Plus, this thread is not yours alone: other members learn things when they read it. So we like to give as complete answers as we can. Oh I'm really sorry I wasn't trying to be rude. I didn't mean for it to be.
  5. As you can see in the previous post I made (Well actually I gave the wrong age) when I was 13 I was diagnosed with aspergers but rejected the diagnosis. I stopped seeing the therapist due to financial issues at the time (I think it had to do with insurance) so only my school knew which I started isolating myself from people and stopped attending and getting independent study-excuse used was mental illness. And I kept it a secret from my psychiatrist and my new therapist didn't know... Till now. And now so does my psyche. This actually explains my bullying filled childhood. And also why I s
  6. Yesterday was hard for me... and today is no better. I was going to cut myself but then I talked myself into getting drunk instead to get rid of the pain. so I had drunken half a frozen cocktail and was going to drink some of my dads beers but stopped myself and waited a few hours to call my mom. I'm in so much pain right now. It hurts. Nothing that used to is bringing me joy. I want to cry. What do I do. I started taking my meds again 2 days ago. But I'm still hurting. I was even depressed before I forgot to take my meds for 3 days. Idk what to do. I can't take this. I haven't felt this bad i
  7. Hello Charles. I'm Mileena! Yes my real name is finally out there people lol. Named after a Mortal Kombat character (Yes my birth dad-I'm adopted-is a video game lover lol). My diagnosis' are also in my signature. It's nice to meet you! I hope you like it here!
  8. I have this problem right now. It's been 3 days since I've taken my meds-earlier I thought was having like a simple partial seizure or something but I realized it was withdrawal. And when I forget once. I'll probably do it again. It starts a pattern. This isn't the first time the past 2 months I've done this-well first time it was a total of 3 days in a row.
  9. You guys seemed to have missed a post. I said I realized I haven't take my pills in 3 days and I'm just having withdrawal. I need to take them tonight. I also said I still wanted to hear about what's it's like to have a seizure (As I've never fully understood). I know these aren't seizures. My childhood ones who knows what they were and I honestly don't care as they don't affect me now-the one I just had was just withdrawal. It was a scary feeling.
  10. LOVE IT. It keeps me most stable. I tried 2mg of that Risperdal stuff and... I went psychotic manic. It did NOTHING to help. Nope I'm sticking with my Abilify.
  11. Actually that was completely unrelated lol. I thought while I was at it I would look for what was causing the scary feeling. Till I realized I was off my meds for 3 days. Oops.
  12. I just remembered.... I haven't taken my meds in 3 days. D: Oops. This is probably withdrawal. Oh well I'd still like to hear what it feels like to have a seizure.
  13. Also I used to suddenly get dizzy, fall (Like for real fall), and have the same sensation only a little different and my vision would blur and I'd become unresponsive. I have not done this in a while but I was wondering if that's a seizure. Is it? And a few times as a little kid I remember blanking out and suddenly gain back consciousness and I had wandered away from school. Is that a seizure? Also once I went blind for a short time. Everything was white. And felt vibrations through out my body. I would like to add though I was anorexic then and had overdosed on this yucky laxative te
  14. I felt this wave of sensation come over my body and I felt suddenly light on my feet. I almost fell because I got a little disoriented. I felt this anxious feeling in my chest. It was a scary feeling. I keep trying to research what these are. They started 2 months ago. They are not a constant feeling and they happen like 1-2 times a week. Is this a type of seizure? What's a seizure like? Should I seek help seizure or not seizure? P.S. Pardon my ignorance. I don't understand seizures. My dad had them when he was a kid but he's sleeping right now so I can't ask him.
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