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About starship_subaru

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  1. So i have noticed since moving into my own place (alone, no roommates), my OCD has diminished greatly. i think i have figured out it's because pretty much the bulk of my OCD (reverse hoarding, ordering, just-right obsessions, etc) had to do with the need to know the exact location of every item in my home. it wasn't associated with any particular fear, i just felt "off" if i didn't know where everything was, and if the locations where all of those things were were no just right. so i think living alone is helpful because nobody is touching any of my stuff, therefore i always know where everything is and everything stays right where i want it to be. so is this really an improvement....or just succumbing to the compulsion? and if i don't really want to give up the comfort of knowing where all my stuff is (no desire to fight it at all), was it really ocd in the first place or possibly ocPd? i think it's definitely rooted in a need to control the environment...isn't that more of an ocpd trait since there isn't really a specific obsession with it (aside from needing the feeling of just-rightness)..or am i just overthinking this bigtime? should i bring this up with my therapist? i have been noticing different anxieties popping up since moving into this place, such as a fear of germs and contamination i never really had before as well as some health-related anxieties (really more like just anxieties about the human body in general) and calorie counting for no good reason (i don't even want to lose weight) and needing my body to feel empty at all times. soooo...i may have just replaced the devil i knew with one that's even worse...
  2. I've been having this exact same problem at work. I am diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder but in my case there is a social anxiety component to it, although that's not in my official diagnosis. Luckily my job doesn't involve constant social interaction. It's long periods of physical work interspersed short little spurts of interaction. I'm hoping to talk to my tdoc about the problem soon and get some solutions. One thing I do suspect is that I perceive myself as slowing down a lot more than I actually do. It can be helpful to just take a deep breath, close my eyes for a moment and regroup. But it doesn't fix the problem. Just helps sometimes. But I think there's something to the idea that once we get nervous and feel like we're slowing down, we then panic about it and add anxiety on top of anxiety, which makes it even harder to deal with the situation. I usually can't stop the "first" level of anxiety, but if I do a little self-regrouping session I can sometimes stop the "second" level of it from happening and creating a snowball effect.
  3. hmm interesting, ok. i figured it might be something different cause i cant find any info online that links those symptoms to migraines. the doctor who diagnosed me was an ob-gyn who also provides gdoc services for women. thanks for the suggestion. if it comes back i will go to a neuro....as soon as i get my new insurance. *sigh* ive had to change insurance providers like 3 times in the last 3 years. it sucks. anyway a neuro could maybe help with my insomnia too? no one has ever really hinted at a cause for that. i saw one pdoc who attributed it to bipolar disorder, but it turns out i don't actually have bipolar disorder, just recurrent depression, and even when i have no depressive symptoms at all ive still got the insomnia. weirdly, ive found large doses of b-12 and chia seeds helps with the abdominal symptoms. been trying to pay more attention recently to how food and supplements affect symptoms.
  4. I only recently got the migraine diagnosis and i don't really know much about it other than they are from hell and the new meds seem to be helping to prevent them (actually went a whole month and change without one, it was magical). Well i did eventually get one maybe about two weeks ago? and then for the whole week after, my lower abdomen and pelvis were extremely tender and painful to touch and motion which made walking, bending over, and generally functioning quite difficult. i had to be very careful about how i moved in order to avoid triggering this pain. and now the pain is gone again, and i'm remembering that before i started amitryptaline i used to have that same pain almost constantly (but cycling in severity) back when i was having the migraines at least once a month. so i'm starting to wonder now if the pelvic/abdominal pain is part of the migraine attack? it doesn't seem to correspond strongly with menstrual cycle. also i had an ultrasound last time i was at the doc and it looked normal. is there anything else i should get checked out? anyone have this symptom with migraines?
  5. so my new pdoc officially diagnosed GAD instead of OCD. i don't really have any overt compulsions anymore. so yay, progress?? not really, GAD is just as bad. but anyway, i have been noticing i do little tiny compulsions still. like when i leave a room, after i turn the lights out i touch the light switch a couple times until i'm "sure" it's really turned all the way off. it seems too small to really be an issue. my only concern is that it could develop back into full blown ocd again. what do you guys think? are these just the normal kinds of things people do, like the "i'm so ocd, lol" kind of compulsions, or are they just waiting to turn back into the real thing? mostly i'm just wondering if most normal non-MI type people do these little things.
  6. ever just wake up in the morning with this unshakable urge to learn how to play the banjo...?

    1. yarnandcats
    2. starship_subaru


      hahaha awesome, i was sure i was the only one!

  7. Does anyone else ever feel like you are going in circles with your anxiety treatment? Like you can't break out of the cycle of avoidance or compulsions and it just never ends? How do you get un-stuck? I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Mostly avoidance related. I don't feel like I can ever break out of it. I've been building these habits all my life. Maybe I'm fooling myself to think that I can change.
  8. Thanks all chewing gum is really helpful. i think i might try biotene or something similar as well.
  9. So my new meds make my mouth really dry. Mild as side effects go and it wouldn't bother me on its own but I feel like it's also making my mouth smell bad. I have a phlegm taste in the back of my throat also. i drink plenty of water, brush my teeth, etc. Was just wondering if anyone has experiences this (and i imagine many of us have) and if so, got any pointers?
  10. Thanks for all the help everyone! I have tried several of your suggestions and it seems to have subsided for now. I miss my coffee and beer though It is good to know there are also meds that can help this. I will keep that in mind as an option if it comes back. The reflux started coming back right after i started elavil which worried me because it seems to be a pretty effective med so far and i didnt want to have to stop taking it.
  11. Ok so this probably doesn't belong here but it seemed like the most fitting forum. I used to have heartburn quite frequently, but it hasn't been too bad since I quit drinking coffee. But every once in a while i still wake up in the middle of the night choking on what tastes like vomit. It happened twice last night. It's very scary and sometimes really hard to catch my breath afterward. Anyone else have this? What did you do about it?
  12. I did, when I was angry or frustrated or feeling trapped. I don't remember exactly when I started but I know it was when I was really little. like early in elementary school or younger, probably somewhere in the range of like 6 to 9 yrs old. I didn't have a name for it and I didn't really use any self harm tools. I would bite my arms and hands until they bled, or punch myself. when I was about 12 was when I heard about cutting and burning and realized, hey that's kinda like what i'm already doing, why don't I do that instead? as far as a know most of my family members did not self injure although I know one of my mom's sisters did but I never met her. I know my dad had a lot of my same very anxious personality traits, especially as a child. but i'm not sure if he ever self harmed as a child or not. I definitely never know him to do anything like it.
  13. I am wondering if anyone else can relate to this and what it means. I hate being called by my name. first name is bad, full name is the absolute worst. I was thinking about it cuz a friend was telling me how she finds it romantic when a guy calls her by her name, and to me hearing my name just feels weird. i'd rather people called me "hey you".....seriously. is this normal? does it have to do with mental issues or bad past experiences or what?
  14. I experience the exact same thing and ocd has been my most consistent diagnosis. I am not 100% sure it's caused by ocd though. it just doesn't quite seem to fit the mold. definitely anxiety based though.
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