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Pearly

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Everything posted by Pearly

  1. This is so weird. I only started dating recently so I lost my virginity at the age of 31 to someone I am never going to see again just over a month ago. I don't regret it however could have been with someone I liked. I met another guy last week. After so many dates, he's the only one who said he wants to take it slow. Says he likes me. But all the other guys I talked to kept going on about sex the 2 days after talking to me online. This one hasn't even after meeting me. Either he doesn't like me somethings up. Or he's trying to get rid of me gently without hurting my feelings. I don't know how to react. Seriously. I had no intention of meeting him. When he messaged me two months back I thought he was a creep. I signed back on and there he is messaging me again. So I gave up, gave him my number. I only date Indian guys, but wth am I doing. He is supposed to be Indian and in his late 20s to 30's not White (as he is) and 5 years younger.
  2. I stood up at work as I was about to wear my jacket when I heard my name. Looked around look In front one of my colleagues was staring and smiling from far. I find him creepy he's always staring but I'm not sure if it was voices.
  3. I am 31 years old and I just lost it to a guy I met online once and talked to for two months. Don't get me wrong , I don't regret it. But it was painful and tbh I don't think it was what I expected. But after that I have tried to contact another guy, it's given me the confidence to just ask him to do it no strings. I have not even met the other one yet. I think the hypersexual tendencies are still there but I don't seem to have any other symptom.
  4. So at 31 years old, and being a virgin, I never thought I'd see a day when I will actually do it. I like the guy, but it just isn't going to work out for various reasons mostly my family would not allow it to work. 1. because he's 27 and 2. because of his cultural upbrining. Doesn't matter if he's an atheist my family would not accept him. But I feel some sort of connection and I want to do it. I am 100% sure this is not a decision I am making in an episode. I've been talking to him two months. But I am very afraid. I've never hidden anything from my mother. This is my secret but I feel immensely guilty about hiding it from her.
  5. I have been on tegretol for well over a month, I think my mania is improving. I am back on dating sites. I met this guy yesterday. He seemed sweet. I didn't feel it. I didn't want a relationshp with him so we agreed casual. Today he kept pushing me to come out and meet him to have sex. I said no. He said I was making excuses. Would not take no for an answer. He said it looks like I'm waiting for a bad guy as i don't want to with a decent guy like him. What a nerve!! I cut him off. I am not going to be pressured into having sex with someone. Ever. I have never done it and he won't be my first. I am still open to the idea of having a casual relationship even after the mania has subsided. At least I think the mania has subsided.
  6. My first dx was schiz back in 2010. I was positive it was a mood ep that led to it. But they couldn't give me an answer for certain. Few years passed and that changed to schizoaffective. I've had no psychosis since the first one 6 yrs ago but i believe i have bp1 they're just doing the tests now... i guess i'll have a clearer picture soon.
  7. I am not in Canada. I am in the UK. I'm just fed up of no one being able to understand. I don't understand myself so I don't expect anyone else to.
  8. No I did not think of that @jt07 i don't feel depressed just a bit numb mentally like nothing matters.
  9. Nothings the same. I feel like i am back to square one. I feel ugly and fat. And this, I guess, is me again. But i am always so tired. I do not have a tdoc. I work and the tdoc appointments are during the working hours. I might have to go private.
  10. *sigh* well i don't mean it in that sense. I mean I just don't feel any desire or energy for sex or finding relationships anymore... that's all but if I tried then it's not like I'm completely numbed. it's just the thoughts i am not on an antidepressant but i definately need one.
  11. My sex drive is no longer there anymore, i was messaging a few people on dating sites they told me to stop messaging them, things generally arn't looking up. I mean I just feel ugly as crap. The energy has been sucked out of me.
  12. Like for me i think they are because i'm back on the dating sites and the same people don't seem funny anymore. I mean it just isn't funny
  13. I'm not on an AD I'm on a mood stabaliser and antipsychotic.
  14. I am going to get nowhere with this if I complain, agree? Today I feel "normal", today has been a blessing in disguise.:) I have hope this will get better and that the meds are finally kicking in.
  15. Thanks for thinking of me. I saw a nurse who reported to the consultant. I have an appointment on 4 th May but if things don't go right I will need to go to A and E. Yesterday I don't know wtf happened but I got really down and then my mind just went completely blank and was unable to process anything. I was there but my mind was dead if you know what i mean...
  16. guys i am not even sure this is mania to be honest. I am thinking now this is schizophrenia which I was originally diagnosed with six years ago but who knows. Can schiz be this erratic.
  17. I can't get of the dating sites. I am also talking to a guy on a dating site. And I talk a lot of dirty shit. I can't help it. I am also sending him way toooo many messages. I can't stop . And he won't block me. He talks dity.
  18. guys i did get a toy but i still i am finding this incredibly hard to deal with. its just getting worse and worse and worse.
  19. I started tegretol in addition to my antipsychotic last week. So for the past week I have been taking 200mg Tegretol And 5mg Abilify Today I started on 200mg x 2 a day tegretol and 5mg Abilify. I feel like shit. I have tried to keep off the dating sites. But there is this one person who is a thousand miles away in another country. I am still talking to him. Initally he was nice. But now he's talking very dirty and I am so sick, that sick that I am responding to him leading him on. I am a disgusting person. I am 30 year old and have never had sex. I have values. And I respect other peoples values too but these are mine. Why am I feeling so sick with myself.
  20. So I am still talking to someone I came across through a dating app. This is another guy. I told him I have bipolar and he said he's open to being friends. I made a mistake I invited him to my brothers bday party told him it would be an opportunity for him to make frineds. My brother said no after. I want to meet him but wondering if its a bad idea??? I've only just started the meds a week ago.
  21. I am oversight considerably and I'm on an antipsychotic to. The reason why I did not take depokte or epilim was because my pdoc said I had pcos. It would make it worse or make me gain weight. I understand I should care more of my symptoms being under control but I don't want to enter depression because of my weight
  22. And not tempted to sleep with any tom dick and harry lol I am also thinking rationally. I am on tegretol but I'm afraid of the weight gain so so much Who else is on this?
  23. I still feel tempted to contact this guy even though he is a jerk. I told him i thought he was a liar and a twat but agreed to sleep with him despite that. anyway whats done is done. glad i have not done anything i regret.
  24. It is a hard struggle. I am Indian so our culture is rather different. So this was a hard topic to bring up. I'm suprised at how she took it though,
  25. So this is what happened since. I got my prescription of Tegretol and have started it already. Then the next day I had a discussion with my mum. We live in the same house. I told her I was about to sleep with this guy. I told her even though it was embarrassing I have to get a sex toy. Honestly she took it well. She'd rather it be a sex toy than this guy lol
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