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Pearly

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Everything posted by Pearly

  1. To see someone when a non-emergency takes six months. I know this sounds bad but I got lucky I got depressed so they could see me. Now I'm seeing them at the end of this month. Then they said it is schizoaffective because I had that depressive episode (it didn't last long but it was awful).
  2. I have not had a psychosis ever since that episode I had 4 1/2 years ago but I struggle to accept that I have schiz till this day. i don't deny the psychosis but I can't accept the diagnosis. I know you will say diagnosis doesn't matter as long as I'm getting the treatment.... but it does to me because I don't feel I am under the correct treatment Some pdocs have also said I may be schizoaffective or even bipolar but they don't treat me for the mood episodes. It is very frustrating.
  3. I am a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. But it's still being decided if I have bipolar or schizoaffective. I went to see my GP on Tuesday and she said a couple of months ago as I came off the meds (WITH HER CONCENT) I'd go from up to flat within a day and she saw it happen before her eyes. I've been back on meds now for quite sometime but had a bout of depression some weeks ago so the dose of Abilify went from 5mg to 7.5mg and now she said I have neitehr of those things (flat affect or mood issues). She said I look really well.
  4. If so, How does your family function with your dx? They won't accept I have it so pretty much they think I'm normal. Do you all get along? Yes although it bugs me they don't understand. Do your parents give you privacy? I feel they do. Do your parents want you out of the house? We're an extended family they would rather me stay than move. Do your parents charge you rent? No but I try to contribute. How do you like living with your parents? I wouldn't have it any other way.
  5. Basically 4 1/2 years ago I had a psychotic break and then got diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. No one listended to me when I said I was having mood issues until a few weeks ago and now they're thinking schizoaffective. But because no one listened to me for all these years, it was almost like I wanted to have bipolar everytime I brought it up with an old pdoc. So I feel scarred. I can't accept the new diagnosis now because I was so pushed into accepting I had paraniod schiz and even that I struggled to accept. Because everytime I said I thought I had something else they'd make a note of it and tell me its denial. I've only ever had the psychosis once but OMG it is very traumatising. I don't know if I'm making any sense so let me know and I'll try my best to explain.
  6. Thanks so much for listening. I am tired but i keep pacing and I'm not sure if its the Abilify but i just cannot sit still. I've only increased by 2.5mg so now i take 7.5 mg. I still have problems with my sleep though it is so frustrating.
  7. I am diagnosed with schizophrenia or schizoaffective or bipolar and they're still deciding what i have. I had my first psychotic episode 4.5 years ago and that was my last one. I'm in remission from the psychotic symptoms but not mood symptoms so they upped my med to 7.5mg Abilify. Basically when i attempted to come off meds (with the consent of my gp) my mood is the first thing that went funny so they said it may be schizoaffective bipolar or bipolar. I am fed up because every day for 3 weeks now i wake up early and although i go back to sleep I can never feel refreshed. I am tired. I am fat and i am glad I'm losing weight but I suppose this is not a good thing because I'm not eating very well. Well I eat but i find it hard to even though I am hungry. My pdoc said I am contradicting myself too much. Like i cannot make decisions. I have had this problem for as long as I can remember. And although it may seem i am depressed I did cry for two days on and off I am not actually depressed anymore. Just drained of all energy. I feel my colleagues are fed up of me because I can tell i am always thinking negative they always say try to be positive. my cousin even said I worry too much. I am fed up of feeling like this. Not knowing how i'm going to be feeling one day to the next. i wouldn't say I am manic but my moods do feel like they're all over the place especially when i contradict myself too much.
  8. That's what my pdoc said that I contradict myself all the time. I can't make decisions. And I change my mind all the time. It is very frustrating.
  9. I've had too many second opinions. They all either say paranoid schiz, schizoaffective or bipolar.
  10. Basically had a psychotic episode almost 4.5 years ago which led to a diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia. No psychosis since. I voiced my concerns about my moods but obviously no one believed me. It was like I wanted bipolar. So it was all part of paranoid schizophrenia. So for four years I struggled very hard to accept I had schizophrenia and just as I was coming to terms with it, I am told its either schizoaffective, bipolar or plain bipolar. I let my life come to a standstill what a waste. I am tired, I wake up early and struggle my way back to sleep, I am tired all day most days despite having some good days too. My moods feel all over the place. The pdoc suggested sodium valporate spelling? But instead I just went with the increase in Abilify.
  11. I posted that in the relationship section. Posted this here coz I thought I was going mad. I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking this though.
  12. Basically my cousin has got engaged to an Indian citizen (me and my cousin are British citizens since birth). Her fiancé also invited his friend to the trip who also happens to be an Indian citizen. Now maybe I'm being paranoid but this guy on the last day added me to Facebook (he sent the request). I thought he was alright but when i realised he doesn't have a British passport and that he's here on a student visa I thought it best to let it go. Because I know the process is long and rules are tight and if he doesn't get his citizenship we'd be in a mess. And also he might not even like me but the fact that i have am a British citizenship. I am very suspicious of him. He even asked me what my dads and granddads name was. Which is too personal but I told him what it was. On friday he tried to call me through Facebook he doesn't have my number. Maybe he accidentally pressed the call button? Is that even possible? I saw a post he made on Facebook but it was in Hindi ( i have a translator you see). He was basically quoting a film saying something about winning someones heart and that he has the rest of his life to earn money. Idk I feel very suspicious of him. And I don't know if I am being delusional or paranoid.
  13. I wake up between 2am to 3am everynight. Its been like this for almost 2 weeks. I go back to sleep but never feel refreshed. So much so I got depressed one day I had to go to the emergency room, the ambulence had to come get me. It led to a diagnosis of schizoaffective, bipolar (originally paranoid schizophrenia) And then it went away for a day or two and came back for a day. I don't understand how depression can only last a day but anyhow. I have to see someone Monday. Yesterday I was feeling great but I am afraid it won't last long I never know how I'm going to be one day to the next.
  14. Basically, I want an honest opinion. I live in the UK (born in the UK) and I went on holiday recently within the UK with my cousin (uk citizen), her fiance (indian citizen) and his friend who I didn't know. I thought i was being paranoid at first that this was a set up. He was delibrately taken with us on holiday so we could meet. But then my mum, my aunt and everyone feels the same. He sent me a friend request on the last day. And then he asked me what my dads name was and my grandads name too. I am not sure about why he asked that. Maybe in India they ask such things. But I don't understand as he is of a different caste / religion so we can't be related (which is one of the reasons he may have been curious). He is here on a student visa. My parents do not trust him. But I really liked him but when I found out he has no citizenship here doubts crossed my mind. I wouldn't do anything about it because I cannot deal with the stress of going through citizenship for him. I am asking this question for you guys to kick some sense into me. So that I can get some reassurance that I am doing the right thing.
  15. I have schizophrenia btw. Not depression. He said schizoaffective, bipolar and a few pdocs have disagreed with that. So I tend to believe the others.
  16. Ahh NHS.... I came of my meds with the concent of my GP and I went downhill (not psychotic) but anxious, probably manic I don't know. I am actually schizophrenic. I went to A&E and they did nothing. A month ago I got an appointment to see someone in November. Yes november!! But last week I cried my way home from work early and called them to bring my appointment forward as I wasn't feeling well. i was crying on the phone and everything. They thought I was going to do something stupid which I wasn't to be honest but they called me an ambulance who took me to hospital and then finally A&E took me over to the crisis team. You get the help but not when you want it and it is so frustrating.
  17. Basically I suffered an episode of depression. It didn’t last long, maybe on and off for about a day or two. Here’s the post I wrote last: Basically I feel the depression was situational and now I'm fine. So I don't feel I need an increase in antipsychotic. I don't mind an antidepressant but I am clearly not depressed. I had one psychotic episode 4 years ago but this was clearly not a psychotic episode as they said so themselves why do they want to increase my antipsychotic? They said they'd decrease it after things have settled a bit but they always say that.
  18. I don't have a pdoc i was discharged over a year ago. The problem is I may see a pdoc but I may never ever see the same pdoc again at anytime I need to see one. It's a mess and I hate it.
  19. Thank you guys for the insight. Yes, I have been intouch with the home teratment team they will adjust my meds. I had another day like the above on Thursday, I didn't want to go to the concert on Friday basically I have been exhausted. But I paid a lot so I went and I am tired. And I don't know what to do about it. I sleep, I wake up at 3 and go back to sleep again and don't feel refreshed when I wake up.
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