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  1. I discovered something, and I hope the discovery will help other people who have dizziness/nausea issues with Latuda. I've been taking Latuda for about 2 years, and one of my biggest struggles with it is that it made me feel like garbage about an hour after I took it. I have to describe the feeling as "dizzy" even though that doesn't fully describe the feeling - I felt horrible, like I had the worst sort of flu, plus nauseous on top of it. It was bad enough that after almost 2 years on it, I was still considering going back to Seroquel. It doesn't matter if I take it with a massive meal, it still makes me feel like shit. Then I discovered what was leading to the horrible dizziness/nausea: extreme light sensitivity. It was the light from my husband's dimmed iPad, which he uses in the dark in bed every night before he goes to sleep. Even with a sleep mask on, the light from it leaking around the mask was enough to make me feel ill. I figured it out after using a SAD light too late in the day (too close to taking my Latuda dose) caused me to develop a migraine and puke. If you're getting dizzy/nauseous from the Latuda, try turning the lights off and making sure the room is as pitch black as possible before taking it, and don't expose yourself to ANY light - even a dimmed phone screen - after you take it. See if the dizziness/nausea goes away. For me, it did, but if I expose myself to any sort of light - especially blue light, like a tablet or phone or computer screen - I suddenly feel really terrible. Still not sure what to do about the terrible existential dread that the Latuda causes, but at least I solved one problem. I hope this helps somebody.
  2. Generally, if you have to ask yourself if you should get evaluated, you should probably get evaluated.
  3. I don't know about sam-e, I'm wary of anything that can interact with medications. But I have been using a SAD light and I asked my pdoc about the danger of it causing me to go manic the other day. He told me that he really doubted that the light could cause mania, even hypo-mania - he admitted that it might happen in very rare instances, but stressed the "very rare" part - he did not seem concerned at all.
  4. Taking something as important as a phone (a method of contact with the outside world) away as punishment sounds isolating and abusive, to me. I would never tolerate my husband taking my phone away - or anything away.
  5. SSRIs have either done jack shit for me or made things worse. Wellbutrin was a game-changer, though. I can't take it right now because it's not safe to take if you're pregnant or trying to have a baby, but as soon as I'm able to, I'm going back on it.
  6. I'm good about taking a shower, and I brush my hair, and I brush my teeth... but beyond that, I'm not that great at self care. Unless my husband dresses me, I look like I dressed myself in the dark. My husband does the laundry, and even then I sometimes still wear items that haven't been washed because dressing myself takes so much energy that I just grab whatever is in front of me. I don't do my hair beyond brushing it, I don't wear makeup, I rarely shave my underarms or legs (if I shave my legs, it's a victory). It makes me feel dowdy and sometimes I wonder what my husband sees in me, especially when I see how immaculately groomed other women are, but he doesn't seem to mind my fuzzy legs.
  7. Feelings of inadequacy and self-hate. Sometimes, all I can think about is how I'm not measuring up to everyone else.
  8. Sometimes, people just can't see you that way. Trying to continue a platonic friendship when you are really in love with the person ultimately results in a toxic relationship because somebody is going to get hurt, one way or the other (generally, the person who is in love... through no fault of the other person). It's possible that you drove her away, but it wouldn't have been good (or right) to conceal your feelings, anyway. The odds that she would have reciprocated further down the road are, in my experience, slim to none. You sound like you are very young, please don't let it get you down too much, there are a lot of people in the world worth falling in love with.
  9. Debbie, I found that my own Latuda side effects (nausea and nasty episodes of anxiety) went away after a few months on the medication. You could try to stick with it for a few months and see if it goes away. I have also heard of psychiatrists prescribing stuff like Cogentin to help, or at least mine mentioned it offhand, but I never needed it.
  10. Some background: Until recently, I had a really terrible job with a psycho boss. Somehow I managed to get a different job that is good and my current boss is great. I took a sizeable pay cut, but it has been worth it. The health insurance is also way better. Since I got a better job that's not stressful, my husband and I decided to start trying to have a baby. One psychiatrist said that Wellbutrin might be dangerous, a different one said Wellbutrin was fine. I decided not to take any chances, so I tapered off of the Wellbutrin. The Wellbutrin was working great for me, but since I tapered off, my depression has taken a downturn. No other antidepressants have worked for me, and none of them are listed as "safe" anyway. A small dose of caffeine combined with some l-theanine gives me a little mood boost, but it's super temporary and I obviously can't take thousands of milligrams of l-theanine a day - if for no other reason than it would cost a fortune. I also can't drink any caffeine after noon, or I can't sleep. So one thing I have noticed, now that I don't have a terrible job with a crazy boss, is that my depression gets worse after the sun goes down. I've started calling it the "Night Sads". I thought the Latuda was causing it because it has caused terrible anxiety in the past, but since it started getting dark way before I take my dose, I've started getting sad and anxious way before my dose. A friend suggested a "happy lamp", one of those sun therapy lights, but you can't use those within 2 hours of going to bed, and it's always the worst when it's bedtime. Even taking 100 mg of l-theanine doesn't help. I just... get sad. I feel terrible that the day is coming to an end and it feels like I didn't accomplish anything. I try to break out of the cycle of ruminating about my personal shortcomings (I have friends who are way more successful than me and it makes me feel like shit sometimes) but even if I stop those thoughts, I'm still left with this feeling of emptiness. I wake up in the middle of the night with these terrible feelings of dread and anxiety and loneliness. The loneliness doesn't even make sense because my husband is asleep in bed next to me, and our relationship is great. My insomnia has also returned. My husband is always out like a light after 15 minutes, and I lie in bed for hours just trying to sleep. I went to bed at 9; it's now 11, and I got up and made this forum post because I got frustrated with trying to sleep. Does anybody else get the Night Sads? Have you found anything that helps?
  11. All SSRIs failed me. They either didn't do anything or made things worse. Wellbutrin was a godsend.
  12. If your pdoc isn't working out for you, maybe you could try looking for a new one. Not everybody is a good match. But it really sounds like you need to get in touch with a therapist. You can't stay locked in your house forever, and that's no way to live. Have you discussed your paranoid thoughts with your pdoc? Maybe they could adjust your medication and see if that helps?
  13. Medication CAN genuinely help, though. My suicidal thoughts have gotten much better while on medication, in the sense that they're more of just a thought that pops into my head than something I really want to act on. And they pop up a lot less often. For me, they're often a reaction to feeling overwhelmed. If you keep having these thoughts, you need to address it, though. Discuss it with your therapist or psychiatrist, see if a medication adjustment helps.
  14. I guess I don't have a lot of experience dealing with this because when I'm depressed, I tend to distance myself to people. The times I've reached out to people for help with depression, I've gotten brushed off or even yelled at. They either don't care, or they're actually angry at me for being depressed. The idea of someone taking responsibility for my depression or taking it so personally isn't something I've encountered before, so I don't know what to do about it. My depression isn't his responsibility and he shouldn't take it personally, which I've told him, but he does anyway. He's upset because this thing is my life goal and the one thing I want more than anything in the world, and it's impossible for me to get, and he can't help. If I would just give up on it, it would probably help us both out in the long run. My current field is fairly well-paying, so it's not like I'm making minimum wage or anything, and the field I'm trying to get into actually potentially pays less. I'm a web designer trying to get into doing tabletop or video game concept art and the barrier to entry is extremely high. The time to do it would have been in college, when I could have done a (probably unpaid, which I couldn't have afforded anyway) internship, but my illness prevented me from doing the bare minimum to function and pass my classes at the time, and I couldn't drive (I have a driving phobia that I haven't quite conquered but at least now I'm able to drive if I absolutely have to. It prevented me from getting my license until I was 28, and I lived in an area where you had to drive to get pretty much anywhere because the public transit was horrible). I just hate feeling like a failure because my friends made it and I wasn't good enough and didn't do the right things. So I ended up learning to code better and becoming a web designer instead. At this point, all I can think of to do is to try to get a job at a non-profit dealing with labor rights or womens' rights so I'm at least doing something useful with my life instead of making an already rich jackass more money and subsidizing his desire to feel like a businessman (he sucks at running a business and he sucks at marketing but thinks he's a genius) with my life. Anyway, my husband seemed kind of depressed this morning but now he seems alright, although he says he's "really tired" which he doesn't seem to understand is often being depressed.
  15. Well, he came back and now he's super depressed. I apologized for depressing him but I don't know what else to do. I feel like this is going to end my marriage if it keeps on like this. I already suggested making the topic off-limits but he said no to that. I'm going to suggest that we see my therapist together.
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