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Squish

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About Squish

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    UUURRRRRR

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    Woman
  • Interests
    Biology, baking, books. Terrible puns. Duvets, especially my own

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  1. Slightly late to the party, but I got assessed by an educational psychologist (heavily subsidised by my university) which picked up moderate SADHD, followed by an assessment with a psychiatrist before I could try stimulants. The educational pyschologist used the WASI-II test to get an overview of cognitive ability to compare to specific areas where I might have issues. In addition, I did the WAIS-IV Digit span test and Arithmetic test to look at working memory, the WAIS-IV Coding test and Symbol Search test to test processing speed and the CTOPP 2 Elision phonemic segmentation test, WIAT-II tests for reading accuracy, comprehension and speed and TOWRE 2 phonemic decoding test to check for dyslexia, or Phonology/Phonological Awareness. Where the results of the latter tests were much worse than the WASI-II test, that was an indication of a specific learning disability. In my case, there was significant evidence of ADHD (inattentive), dyspraxia, and, surprisingly, dyslexia. For example, on the WASI-II I was in the 99.9th percentile, while for the WAIS-IV Digit span test I was in the 16th percentile, indicating that my working memory is way worse than it should be. For the WAIS-IV Coding test (visual motor short term memory, a component of processing speed) I was on the 9th percentile. Ultimately, stimulants have made a massive difference but it is useful to be aware of the results of the all the EdPsych tests, if only because I'm working in an academic environment. It was particularly useful to know about the dyslexia, as some of my issues with paying attention to what I read are because my reading comprehension and ability to decode words is not great.
  2. I have seen a few articles like this recently. Although I don't think they described anyone unfortunate enough to have had psychosis triggered by meditation. They make sense: if something is going to have an effect, then there's no reason why it shouldn't have an adverse effect. As the cool new thing in the mental health thing I do think it's been over hyped - it does seem to help some people, but you cannot expect it to be good for everyone. I don't like actual meditations - either silent or guided. I do sometimes do the paying attention to my breathing thing because it can help me sleep. I took a mindfulness based stress reduction course a while ago, and while there was quite bit of the mindfulness meditation stuff that I obviously didn't take to, there was some more general stuff that I have found helpful. We talked a bit about being compassionate to ourselves and not judging ourselves, about how it is OK to have thoughts without necessarily engaging in them. But the actual meditation stuff: not really for me.
  3. I work full time and find it's the tiredness rather than the lack of time that's the problem. I bike to work, which is a bit of exercise (it's only a 10 minutes cycle each way, but 20 minutes cycling a day is better than zilch), and I try to do more on one day during the week and one or both of Saturday and Sunday. I have been finding it easier to exercise when I go with other people . I went to a yoga class with a friend on Sunday, for example. It can be social in a nice way and you're forced to commit to it, even if you feel a tired and unmotivated.
  4. I feel ashamed of it. Being depressed makes me isolate from friends and makes it hard to work properly because it makes me so tired and screws up my concentration and memory and sometimes I avoid doing silly things because I get anxious about it. To an outside observer I do seem lazy and unreliable, even when I'm trying my hardest. This is probably compounded by the fact that I don't really talk to anyone about my MI, so I don't get much of an outside perspective on it (except at CB, thank goodness). I'm only willing to tell someone that I'm depressed and anxious if they also have a mental illness, in which case they'll understand. The problem is, when everyone approaches it like that then no one ever tells anyone about their mental illness first! And it does seem so hard to separate the illness from who I am as a person. It affects my thoughts and emotions and behaviour and if those don't define me as a person then what does? Then again, I suspect the shame is for a large part a symptom of the MI itself. I don't feel this way about anyone else's mental illness. Just mine
  5. I wear skirts and dresses lots. I haven't noticed them disappearing from shops. I get you on finding things that fit though - I'm 5' 10" and anything above the knee shows so much leg it really isn't work appropriate. I mostly shop at Topshop, H&M and Gap. I usually order online like Gearhead because the Tall section is typically online only or has a tiny selection in store.
  6. Tomatoes are a good idea! I love them, especially when home grown. I'll try to get my hands on some plants. Cilantro tastes like soap, and the basil already died (I can never keep it alive outside) but chives might work too...
  7. I know there are a fair few keen gardeners on CB. I need your advice. I've been tidying and reorganizing the pots on the patio of my rented house (I moved in in the autumn). A lot of the pots didn't have anything growing in them but I have mint, parsley and tarragon in some (little plants bought in the supermarket and planted out), seeds planted in some (nasturtiums, wild strawberries, lupin and silene/peach blossom), and a few with cuttings in them that might or might not take (I am a bit naughty and steal cuttings off large shrubs when I'm out for a walk or run). The biggest pot has some unknown self seeded thing that is probably a weed. I want to put in a very small tree/largish shrub, because there's a load of empty brick wall there and I want to fill in that gap. Here's a picture. (Please ignore the mud all over the patio, I'm terrible at re-potting neatly.) I live in East Anglia, and the spot is fairly sheltered and South West facing. We do get a lot of frost in winter, so it has to be something that would be OK with that. Something that flowered and attracted insects would be nice. Oh, and it has to be something I could find at the local garden centre, otherwise I can't really get it. Does anyone have any recommendations? Or even suggestions.
  8. Squish

    s'paint

    Hey! Thanks! :D It was for my grandmother.
  9. So the guy had a bad episode of depression that lasted about 4-5 months, and he eventually recovered spontaneously when he was not taking any psych meds. Given that an untreated episode of depression typically lasts 6 months, and psych meds can get that down to 2 or 3 in the best case scenario, that is really not that long. He pretty clearly recovered because his brain had had the time it needed to recover from the interferon. Treatment resistant depression, my foot. Try having it for years.
  10. It might be possible to get the 37.5mg tablets that are scored. That way you could do the drop in 18.75mg increments. I have been tapering down from 300mg and I'm at 75mg now. I've done it all in 37.5mg increments and have only noticed occasional withdrawal symptoms if I didn't wait long enough between the drops of 37.5mg (pins and needles one day, and some headaches).
  11. It's horrible how much (actually harmful) misinformation there is out there about BPD. Particularly the whole "attention seeking" thing. This guy is totally unqualified (either from personal experience or professionally) to be informing the public about BPD. Given how stigmatized BPD already is, making sensational and ill informed videos about it, aimed at your large audience that is mostly made up of kids seems awfully irresponsible.
  12. Yeah, I don't think this is a joke. I'm come across the "Crash Course" series before - my 11 year old cousin likes them. I think they tend to be kind of sensational, and presumably written by someone who knows nothing about the field, barring what they googled beforehand (as there's a huge range of topics). They do seem to have a large audience though.
  13. I think Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder is from the ICD-10 (an international book of diagnosis guidelines for all diseases/disorders) and Borderline Personality Disorder is from the DSM (which is just psych stuff, and American). I guess NHS pdocs can use either.
  14. It is an interesting question. Clearly, some kinds of anxiety, such as the kind that comes with PTSD, is not genetic. But even that can be inherited - trangenerational transmission of trauma is a thing (documented in the children of Holocaust survivors). It's probably a combination of epigenetics and parenting. I'm one of four, and both my parents are anxious people. Neither is formally diagnosed although my mum has had some therapy and taken mindfulness classes. One brother had headaches caused by anxiety and used to cry before school every day when he was 6-8. One sister had awful anxiety around the time she started secondary school and wasn't able to make friends for years (she and I are also both perfectionists). The other brother cried non stop unless he was cuddled by my mother as a baby but has been totally laid back since then. I'm the only one who has actually had treatment for MI though (including anxiety). I suspect it's a combination of being the oldest and thus picking up more of my parents' anxieties, my parents having got progressively less anxious over time, my mother having been stressed before I was born and having had post natal depression afterwards. And being less lucky with genes.
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