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Koalabear

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  1. Honestly I have noticed when I take opiates it makes me feel a lot better and calm. I don't advise anyone to do that though. I want to be able to control it myself or an OTC medication
  2. There is no medication to relax my stomach or help with nausea? It's so embarrassing sometimes I don't even want to go out.
  3. That's been happening to me since sixth grade. It's not a lot a lot but still more than you're suppose to. I've been staying home a lot keeping to myself and when I get out, I'm surrounded by a lot of people. Then I feel super quesy and have to run off. It sucks so bad and it's embarrassing. I'll try hard to think about something else so I feel better but that rarely works. I'm thinking about going to the doctor. If anyone else has this problem, is there a way to control it?
  4. Really need someone to talk to.. I feel so pathetic I have to go on here to say this. I wish I had friends that were there for me and understood. Everyone else seems so well off. How do they do it? How do they feel a little okay when they aren't? Today someone texted me first and that was probably the highlight of my day. I guess it's a friend but we've drifted apart so it was one of those hey how are you conversations. I don't know if you're supposed to just start talking about how shitty you feel or wait for someone to ask first. I feel like if I talk about myself I sound like a self centered bitch... Even though I feel so shitty and I need someone so bad. But when people ask how you are.. Answering with "I feel like dying." Isn't exactly the most appropriate response. I'm too much of a wimp to do it myself for some reason.. Like i don't know what's holding me back sometimes. I feel guilty when I wish that some external force would just end me because there are people out there wanting their life to be much longer. Me and my bf have been drifting a part. He says we're not but we are. We hardly talk like we used to. I can't stand the thought of being alone after having someone for so long. I'm not used to that. I'm codependent as fuck... But I know this isn't what a healthy relationship should be. And honestly our relationship really determines my mood and since it has been kinda bad lately that's the main reason I feel sad. I want to get out the house but sometimes when I do I just want to go home so bad and crawl back in my bed. I'm stuck in this weird stage where i don't know what to or what I feel anymore... Just shit. I used to take a lot of drugs and haven't in a long time. I really want to start back up but I know I shouldn't. I stopped because my bf doesn't like that. I want to start back smoking weed at least again because he's okay with that t least. But it wastes so much money and I've been trying hard to find a job but no one will hire me. So... Yeah that doesn't help. I'm sorry if this should have been in a blog or If it is in the wrong place.
  5. What is your source? I mean I've actually seen like full episodes from the Cartoon Network channel that you have to pay like $1.99 to watch or something... You could just buy Netflix
  6. Here on CB there are plenty of people willing to listen to your rant, including me. are you living with anyone that can watch over you? I think you need to do that so this Tara doesn't try to harm you again. I know you don't want to hospitalized but at what cost? With someone monitoring you, they are also monitoring Tara. It could be for your own good. alters are alters because theyre different. one could* be trying to protect you from another alter.. which is trying to hurt you. I think it would be a good idea to be open and tell your therapist everything so you can get the best evaluation and treatment.
  7. Sorry I'm late.. But better late than never right? I'm still new to CB but it seems like you can always come here to talk and people on here are understanding. I'm depressed too and I know the pain feel basically unbearable. I understand that.. I know how it feels to not want anyone in your life but still want someone* to help at the same time. It's not easy but you have to try. There really are genuine caring people out there. They can't help you if you won't let them. Give certain people a chance at least What are your coping mechanisms? Find things that make you feel at peace or keep your mind busy.
  8. I'm late but I don't go on all the time and I just joined. I can relate. I've been very depressed for since my early teens and I am currently in this relationship that I'm codependent in. It really sucks but you aren't the only one. I sometimes feel hopeless but believe it or not.. Things do get better. Sometimes when i think something is the end of the world.. I remind myself the world hasn't ended yet... And that it's still going. Keep going and live on. It does get better.
  9. I think that is a good point. Maybe people use it as a cautionary term. I believe in the addiction gene somewhat and calling marijuana a gateway drug could be to prevent people from trying it so these people don't trigger it
  10. Do you trust her? Could that be a reason towards your anxiety? Do you have low self esteem? It's good that you talked to her about it and be happy she's so understanding. She knows how you are and is still supportive. Try to find comfort in this. It kind of does sound like codependency but I'm not a medical professional. So yeah when you see the doctor tell them about every thing.
  11. I agree with you ladybug. I think it depends for some people but I guess since it does apply to some people.. It is considered a gateway drug because you won't know if you fall into that category unless you try. The safest way is to stay abstinent from everything.
  12. Find a new job so you can at least have some time away from them. Who do you have to confide in besides your boyfriend? Do you have supportive friends? It's important to have people to talk to.. You did come to this website after all. It's not okay for your parents to do that. I know how it feels my dad would call me a dog and say I'm not his. And my mom would call me a demon when I really didn't deserve that. Now I am very distant from them both and I feel better because they made me feel that shitty that I didn't want anything to do with them anymore. I'm not telling you to do that though.. There is family counseling if you want to go there.
  13. If yes, why? If no, why do you think so? I am a pot smoker myself and when I first started I thought hell no but now I believe that it is. I speak for myself.. I did try harder drugs after that. It wasn't because marijuana didnt get me high enough. I enjoyed the different effects other drugs and how it was so strong such as pain killers.. Those would be my drug of choice. So yeah.... Thoughts??
  14. Are these groups around as much as AA and NA? I know there are those in my community but I don't know where to look for this stuff
  15. Yeah you're right I don't give a damn about her. We hate each other lol. All the input has been really insightful.. Just more stuff for me to think about.
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