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About indy77

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  1. Thanks. So far this week I have taken maybe a hundred and edited maybe 20 photo’s- taken a day off work to do it. Been in bed by 9pm, had insomnia. Done nothing but shuffle paper around at work, and been uber productive, getting 3 days of work done in one. I much rather have energy and be productive all the time. Urgh. I am kind of obsessively figuring out ways to save and then obtain a new camera, which of course I wanted yesterday. LOL Times like that are when I’m happy I don’t own any credit cards.
  2. Informally I have started tracking. Earlier today I had anxiety looking at my son and not being able to envision him older. Like a doom feeling. I hate that one the most. My mind either thinks something terrible will happen to him or me. Then I was over it and plotting out my next series of photos.
  3. I have no motivation for my job, but I could wander and take photograpghs and edit them for hours. Grrr. It's very frustrating, normally I am top in my department as far as productivity. All I want to do is my photography or artwork. ... sigh. Learning about all this has made me hyper aware of my moods vs brushing them of as a quirk to my personality. (Dx'd Mixed mood state just started depakote.)
  4. This makes total sense. I have suffered from mood swings for a long time, but when I was pregnant that was the best I had felt in so, so long. Then after I had my son I got super sick and almost died. I missed the first 2 months he was born. I had really bad PPD depression because of it. Now I still have the feeling of impending doom, and am very anxious for him. I was just recently dx’d with Mixed Mood State on the BP spectrum. Which really doesn’t surprise me, but I think the ptsd from having my son was the final trigger to make it clear to my doctors what my issue was/is.
  5. Thanks. I am still nervouse about it. I'm giving it a try... and reallly trying not to trick my mind into thinking I am having side effects.... I think I am most nervous how this will affect mu heart over time. I have a congenital heart arrythmia, with pacemaker. And pstd from after I had my son. ( septic; hemorrage; pe...almost died) so new health things freak me a bit...
  6. Thanks. I am primarily in Mixed State. I hope I don't lose weight... I am barely 100lbs as is. I just have a lot of other health issues... so worried about any conflicts there. Mainly a heart condition and I have a pacemaker. . ...deep breathe and.... go... down the hatch....
  7. Dr just rx'd this. I have it sitting here. After reading the warning sheet... I'm kind of scared to start it. 250mg to start then up to 500mg in a week.
  8. I think I am going to email my doc and ask for a reccomendation. I think it might help...
  9. Yeah. I'm not even sure where to find one. I remember doing it as a kid. Right now my kid thinks its hilarious when I run after him with paint. His dad not so much when the little guy then runs after him with hands full of finger paint. But it makes me laugh...
  10. I'm new here... but I am wondering if anyone has done art therapy in addition to meds? I am loving that my son is a toddler because we can break out the finger paint and "go nuts" and its ok. But I kind of wish therewas someplace I could go grab art supplies and do whatever. Or a structured time to grab my camera and go. But between work and family. ... I can't find time to unleash all this pent up energy....
  11. New here. .. but I definetely overspend when I have the urge ( I guess this would be mania? ). It is like I can't stop. Except I akso go to goodwill, ebay for clothes.... and since I had my son... hotwheels cars. Newly ( finally? ) dx'd mixed mood state.... I have to leave my debit card at home and only carry small cash when this happens.
  12. Thanks. Yes I saw a dr of psychiatry after a referral from a neurologist. After reading about mixed state. .. it explains my mood for the last long while. (Close to 12 years. Yikes) I would also say I'm rapid cycling. I can go from one extreme to another and back again in a day or hours. It has been very difficult on my marriage. Thanks for the welcome! I think I mentioned the dr wants to start me on depakote...
  13. Hello all. New here and hoping someone can help me out, or offer some words of wisdom. A little bit about me, I was recently diagnosed with Mixed Mood State, and was told it was on the bipolar spectrum, I am not entirely sure what this means, as everything I look up on it, points me to articles about bipolar. Even the mayo clinic website, which my dr recommended for me to learn more about it. I am not at all surprised by this, it makes sense and I have had a suspicion I may fall somewhere on the bipolar spectrum since my early 20’s ( I am 35 now.). The mixed moods makes perfect sense to me, and it explains why I can be fine one minute, fly off the handle the next and the very next be sinking into a deep, dark sad hole. My doctor is running labs now, and if all comes back ok, he is going to start me on depokate. My dad had a bipolar type disorder (probably bipolar my mom can’t remember), and refused his lithium because he enjoyed the creativity he had. To be honest this is one of my worries about starting something like depokate—and just starting treatment in general. I wish I was in the super creative state all the time. It’s refreshing. My mom has a history of severe clinical depression. This makes me worried for my son, who is 19 months today. Between me, and his dad having illnesses run in his family (no one will say what, but an aunt has been hospitalized at the county mental hospital for decades, with an appointed guardian.). I am hoping to find like minds here and some support… thanks…
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