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Borderline Micky

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  1. I have been diagnosed with Dissocial Personality disorder about two years ago. I cant find much on internet about it. Is it the same as the dissociative personality disorder or different? help me find out about this disorder. I also have borderline personality disorder and addiction to multiple drugs
  2. I am on this med for about month and a half. At first i felt that it will change my life and i had an amazing feeling about at the very begining of taking it. I feel the first signs that an antidepressant will work in first week but almost every one i tryed stoppes working after a short time. I have expectations from this kind of drugs I saw that there already is a topic about this med, about two years old. As i see that is when doctors started prescribing it in usa.but in europe, at least in my country it has come on our market only about 2-3 months ago. And i in that topic somebody kept saying that it is an ssri but as far as i know i it controls more than just serotonin levels. So how can it be an ssri? Anyway i felt a difference at the begining and i do feel better. But i got used to it. Firsti was on 5mg,and now i am on 10. I never gave up my hope in this med and that could be a sign that it is working for me. Just a half a minute ago i wanted to write that i want to increase the dose, but now i think i dont,at least for a month or so, or untill i talk to doctor about it and we decide to increase it. It is the antidepressant i tried. Only zoloft made feel similiar, but that was the first medication i was ever prescribed. And i tryed about 15 antidepressants at least, most of them ssris. I a very very glad my doctor put me on this med.
  3. I already copied those two posts and wrote down that whole story in my blog. I also tryied to find a delete button for this topic but i dont mind it. the whole story is my blog,which i started writing before this happened. But i was on a mobile version of the site so i couldnt access blog at first. But i did from my tablet.
  4. Hmm. In my case it usually happens at the end of a relationship, either with a girlfriend or a friend i that had some kind of a big meaning in my life. Or when i just stop hanging out with a group of people in my neighbourhood. I dont have a lot of friends so i chose them very specifically. They have to have some thing in common with me. Either its loyality and integrity or i chose to hang out with them because they are in a simillar situation like me. I mean that either they are addicts or that i met them in a psych. Hospital, or they just live in my neifgbourhood. So when i end or usually just take a break from some of those relationships, i start feeling like nobody wants me. I also feel like i have a hole in me, something missing in my body. Or that the air i bread is heavy and dense,thick. I can feal it in my chest, just like i feel anxiety. Then i kind of isolate my self. I stay at home, or if im in a treatment i start asking for antidepressants or something. Or i get some kind of drug another way. So in my case it is related with drug abuse. Weed, liqour benzos and other anxiolitics. So i start medicating myself so dont have that feeling im chest. It does probably sound pity.
  5. Then i was in the hospital, in the psyc ward. My mother testifyied against me and even said to the courts psychitraist that she was afraid of me and told them some bad things about me that didnt have a direct relation to that event. It only took a few days before i went to court. I made my statement to the judge and she sent me to jail until they make a decision will they make me serve jail time or to a closed psychiarric faccility. Courts psychiatris questioned me when i was in jail. I spent seven days in jail and was senteced to a treatment for drugs in a closed psychiatric facility for a non specified time. They sent me to a clinic on an island four hours driving time away from my home. There they had about a dosen of different parts of that faccility. They put me in a part that had alcoholics, drug addicts and people with ptsd. I spent 2 months and three weeks at that ward. I had regular recidives how we call them. I guess you call them remmissions. And got in a lot of verbal arguments. I would have gotten out after two and a half months there if one person dindt come there and started snitching on me. But, what can you do. That guy even menaged to get me sent to another ward. The forensic psychiatry. Everyone there was put there by court and we couldnt leave even for a walk before the doctor that was leading the ward said we could. There were about 35 people there. Half of them where hurderers or even killed 2-3 people most of them killed there family members usually their parents. Others were robbers or were there for family violence or attemps of murder. Only a few people were there for minor offences and i think two or three guys were even innocent but got framed. I spent there about three months i behaved well and got out in the middle of november. I got to the institution on the end of may(31.5). So i was there for five and a half months and got out. My father picked me up and took me home(back to my mothers place). I will continue writtig.
  6. I am 20 years old, and i have been in psyc. Hospitals 3 times.(not incuding hospitalisations in acute section of a general hospital in my city. I live in Croatia, which is in Europe, next to italy, Bosnia, Serbia,Austria... Last year i broke a window in my room in my family house where i lived. I also took down all doors in appartment, smashed a few floor tiles(not shore if thats how you call them) with the door i removed from the bathroom by force. Then i went in my room and smashed holes in a wall, and started throwing plastic chairs from my balcony to the street. I also threw an empty beer bottle. Then i went to the dining room and started hitting the refrigirator with my fists. By then my neighbours called the police and they were on the way to my house. My mother saw what i was doing and she went to the upper floor and called my dad. He came before the cops. I lit a chinese paper chandoleer on fire and watched it burn. Then i unplugged the phone and tryed to put it in the microwave, then my dad entered the room and stopped me from doing that. He doesnt live with my mother but he came with a cab. I stopped destroying stuff and he starzed to talk to me. Then i cooked a coffee and two police officers entered. Thes let me drink my coffee and smoke two cigarettes. They asked me do i want to to go to jail or the psyc ward in the cities hospital. I said take me to the hospital. Btw i was in that psyc ward two days and i came out the day that i did this. I had a very terrifying panic attack and was taking xanax. I got home two days after the panic attack, and even in the hospital i abused xanax and smoked weed. So i just continued doing xanax. I took a lot those days. I went out and met with my neighbourhood friends. I drank 4 or 5 beers with then and smoked a few joints. We had a minor argument and they all left so i went home and did this. I hope you understand the order off the events that happened. I will writting.
  7. what ammount did your doctor prescribe to you? 5 mg isn't too small dose for some cases, i guess 10mg is a standard dose. weight gain is normal for this medication, but some people do manage to lose weight by excercising, it is posible to take 2.5 or 5mg and not too gain too much weight if you care about that. I never heard about zyprexa being very dangerous, except for causing diabetes you should start with half a dose that you are going to take first week or so, and then the full dose. I hope i was some help here.
  8. I didn't try it. I never took anything for the pain or discomfort of this. Only for my mood and behaviour. I don't really know if i wil get anything like that and i wouldn't know which med to mention to him.
  9. Minionkity: I didn't try propranolol. No, you're not out of line, i appriciate that you are trying to help me. jt07: I don't know I thought Depakote could help me relax, but i was on tegretol too and i wouldn't compare it to depakote.
  10. The doctor won't give me benzodiazepines because i abused xanax and vallium a lot(mostly generics), but thanks for trying to help... I don't know what he will say about this but I won't even ask for stuff that can be abused. He already knows about this, but he can't really help me. Some anticolvusant could help if they decide to give it to me. I don't know...
  11. Doctor keeps saying that the chest pains are psyhosomatic. I done some test for heart and the results were normal. I don't want to lower the dose of nozinan, but i willask about adding to make me fell more comfortable.
  12. Lot of paralised feelings in the left part of chest mostly. Taking nozinan 100-200mg a day. Its helping a lot with my sleep and changing my dreams for better. It's also helping with the presure i feel in my head. But when i feel paralised I think the drug caused it or at least made it worse. I'm still taking the drug and i think it's better to take it. I tryed Abilify, Seroquel, Depakote, Lexapro, Zoloft, Clonazepam, Vallium(generic), Suboxone, Haldol, Akineton, Xanax, Zyprexa, Tegretol, Prazine, and more... I abused prescrition drugs, took street drugs, overdosed a lot of times. I smoke weed when i'm outside with people( i like the effect and people mostly don't look at it as a drug abuse). I get tempted to do cocaine and speed, especially if somebody mentions it or takes it in front of me. I know some people who take suboxone, and I am mostly ''avoiding'' them. And by avoiding i mean ignoring. I don't get drunk regulary, bet when i do, I either feel sleepy and exhausted or have a mental breakdown. I like nozinan, it is a potent drug, i somehow enjoy the effect and I'm taking a pretty high dose. I have an appointment on the 15. and i am curious what my diagnosis will be, and what the doctor will say about the medication. I'm thinking about asking for Depakote for my chest pains and that stuff. It feels like i'm about to have a epileptic attack or a seizure. It kinda paralises me, slows me down, make me feel awful. And nozinan is helping to make it less painful and scary. I had some eppileptic attacks, almost some seizures, panic attack, inability to speek and a lot more. I had a lot of diagnosis(a few schiozid ones), a few about drug abuse, mixed personality disorder . My biggest problem was drug abuse and presription drug abuse.
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