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  1. Oh Melli - psychopaths tend not to wonder if they're psychopaths I am wondering if you need a new tdoc who can get you some relief from your mental pain though...what do you think?
  2. ? There is a link between diet + depression, for sure. I'm a living example, and here's an article that backs it up: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/diet-and-depression-2018022213309 "“A dietary pattern characterized by a high intake of fruit, vegetables, whole grain, fish, olive oil, low-fat dairy and antioxidants and low intakes of animal foods was apparently associated with a decreased risk of depression. A dietary pattern characterized by a high consumption of red and/or processed meat, refined grains, sweets, high-fat dairy products, butter, potatoes and high-fat gravy, and low intakes of fruits and vegetables is associated with an increased risk of depression.”" I'm obese, and doing Bright Line Eating - https://brightlineeating.com/ where there is a massive emphasis on eating a large amount of vegetables every day, zero flour, zero sugar. In terms of mood, those 3 things do definitely make a difference to me - I was binging on ramen to deal with my suicidality, and whilst those noodles worked a treat on emergency mood stabilisation, long term, it's how I gained around 20 kilos. If you're after a healthy plant based diet, and not sure where to start (and don't have weight issues like I do) - forks over knives might be helpful to you: https://www.forksoverknives.com/plant-based-primer-beginners-guide-starting-plant-based-diet/#gs.UeA4k1k hope that helps.
  3. I've only dealt with lifeline + suicidecallback: suicide call back: strengths: the service is delivered by ontheline - from their website: https://www.ontheline.org.au/ "All of our counsellors are tertiary qualified in either psychology, social work or counselling and are required to have a minimum of 456 hours of post tertiary qualification counselling experience before joining." agree with the suicidal ideation - if things are really crook, they're good at just helping you get to a calmer place. weaknesses: suicidecallback have a smaller team of people (65 in total) - if there's someone that you don't want to speak to, and you hang up and call back...you could simply be calling them again. lifeline: strengths: it can be great if you're stressed, and you just need to talk things through. weaknesses: the wait times can be stupid, or you can get the engaged signal particularly at weird hours like 2am. higher chance of getting folks reading from scripts (at least, that's what it feels like) who can easily get overwhelmed by your overwhelm. If you can call either of these folks as a coping skill during the day, rather than at night, your mileage may vary, but you could find that call waiting times are lower, you're able to talk for longer, and whomever is answering the phone may be more experienced and less stressed. I find calling lifeline during the day is when I get a high chance of an older female, which I've found helpful.
  4. yup, ye olde BPD is merely a label to help signify what's going on, and what options you have. i've heard voices when i've been particularly tired and distressed, and basically put it down to needing more self care - sleep, talking to someone, helping others by answering questions about hearing things on mental health forums.... you might find the following useful as an explanation of borderline diagnosis: http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2007/10/the_diagnosis_of_borderline_pe.html
  5. One thing that I did manage with CATT which could be your saving grace: get them to refer you to a student psychiatrist if you can't afford to see your current one on an ongoing long term basis. I saw a student for a year - it didn't really help me, but it might help you, and that gets everyone off your back. I don't know where you are in australia, but mine was at royal melbourne, which is a student teaching hospital - at least for psych services. CATT in general - I simply found that if there's any way to avoid, do so.
  6. Remnants nailed it above. What I found really great, but also super confronting is that without having to get into the nitty gritty of "so, why are you here, and what is your story" the questionnaire really helps a therapist get a better idea of what they're dealing with in a session, instead of talking over 10. The difficult part is that...just seeing how bad things are.
  7. thanks remnants, i'll check ""reinventing your life" by Jeffrey Young & Janet Klosko" out... life reinvention is basically it.
  8. I've had tons of therapy - seen a psychiatrist for a year, done various group therapies, seen so many psychologists i've lost count. It just feels like regardless of previous therapy that I've done, and trying, it doesn't count. "Oh, you've done all this? Well, that's not enough...start again!" I've asked my therapist to get their supervisors take on what's happening, and what an appropriate way forward might be - so I'll get in touch and see what she says. I think this article nails it for me, even thought they're talking about fitness: http://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-01-23/you-say-you-want-to-get-fit-but-do-you-really/8203950 "When you stop burying your head in the sand, things get really uncomfortable. And that's where real change happens. It's messy and scary and eventually awesome. Trust me, I've seen it happen." my head is not buried in the sand here. Things have been uncomfortable. Maybe it's a case of making them more uncomfortable - in that I'm reliant on my parents at the age of 43 to pay my mortgage instead of simply going out and attempting to get work. I don't know. I just feel completely unhireable right now, and it's just so hard to turn that around.
  9. I'm not taking meds - I've been down that path, and tried many, but nothing really helped, and when you're diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, they tend to recommend going without if you're able (and no judgement here - I do totally get people who make the decision to try/continue with meds - do what works for you). I'm paraphrasing what she said, and it's definitely something I should follow up in email. The basic gist of it was that she was questioning whether I was "ready for therapy". It's the whole am I invested enough, do I really want this to work, etc etc type stuff. Who goes into therapy hoping it will fail?
  10. I got the schema therapy results back last week, and was basically a wreck about it - in that there was nothing new to me there, but it was just frightening to me how... mentally broken/high rating on schemas I was. By that I mean that the general feedback from my psychologist was "you have a lot of work to do", and it's just...really frustrating, in that I feel that I've been fucking trying SO HARD to get on top of things - to get back into work, to clean my place, exercise, eat properly for my conditions, etc etc, and I have very little to show for it. I didn't lie to my tdoc - I told her that I felt like I was at the bottom of a hamster wheel that doesn't even go around so that there's highs and lows in life - I'm just stuck at the bottom, watching everyone else on top. She's now wondering if I'm ready for therapy...which doesn't sound good, and doesn't make sense - if I wasn't ready for therapy, why did I track her down? It's just...super frustrating, as I thought I'd found this awesome therapist who could help me, and we could work on pinpointing what is wrong, and turning things around. Now I'm questioning the concept of therapy as a whole again. I mean, the concept of its only going to work if you *truly believe*. Last time I looked, therapy was not religion. I don't know. I need to sleep on this, I think. It's just a difficult spot I'm in.
  11. @Remnants i'm in the same boat - i've done a lot of therapy, and just started with a new psychologist - 4 sessions this year, and starting over with 10 in the new year. she's suggested schema therapy, and given me a questionnaire to fill out, which was encouraging, as the questions centred around a lot of things that haven't been asked in quite the manner that the schema questions do, and i'm hoping that those answers are going to provide a clearer insight as to what exactly the problem is. the questions are around things like relationships - if you have someone close that you can trust and tell anything to, how close you are with your parents, etc etc.
  12. Lock them in. Bill their insurer. Kick them out. How scores of employees and patients say America’s largest psychiatric chain turns patients into profits. https://www.buzzfeed.com/rosalindadams/intake?utm_term=.ke5nqwZOZ#.ef0AJZN7N I found this to be one of the most interesting yet scary and comprehensive articles on USA mental health care. Worth a read, particularly if you're in the USA and considering using the services of the companies in the article.
  13. Hey Duelist, I can not begin to imagine the kind of grief that you're going through. I just hope that you can find support, and be kind to yourself.
  14. There's a relationship advice expert - Dan Savage - who advocates that when in a relationship, you need to be GGG, that is, Good, Giving and Game. Your boyfriend is not GGG. DTMFA.
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