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About NurseEm

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  1. Thanks for the replies everyone. Processing all of it...I will keep you updated. So overwhelmed still.
  2. I'm addicted to Adderall and Ritalin. I am bipolar, and the only, only, only thing I have found in this whole world that makes me feel "normal" is Adderall and Ritalin. I am prescribed both. I also have found ways to obtain it unprescribed. The amount I take....it scares me. I will sometimes take as much as 200 mg in a 12 hour period. No lie. I can't seem to help myself, I have absolutely zero control when it comes to these medications. I have went through a 30 day prescription, that included 90, 20mg tablets of Ritalin, in as little as 6 or 7 days. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed and scared. I feel really stupid as well. It should be as easy as "take your medicine like your prescribed you idiot" But...it doesn't seem to work that way in my head when I have such a high tolerance, and I keep taking it, and taking it, and taking it, to hold onto that "normal" feeling just a little bit longer. I don't even know what I am looking for in posting this, I guess just to get it off of my chest. Any help, resources, suggestions, would be much appreciated.
  3. Hi, I'm Em. Bipolar, or so I've been diagnosed. A little bit of ADD thrown in. Have a bad serious self medicating problems with my ADD meds. Feel desperate at times, overwhelmed at others, in general.....a bit of a fucked up mess. Don't know what else to really say. I'm trying to reach out for help, but don't know exactly what direction to reach.
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