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About ebullient

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    The West
  • Interests
    You all understand this, but obviously it differs with mood swinging from absolutely nothing to theater, writing novels and poetry, and reading reference manuals, hundreds of year old books on google or silly teen fantasy novels that I don't admit I like in public.
    I'm currently in the middle of watching all the seasons of The Twilight Zone, and feel I relate a bit much.
    I love more than anything kicking my feet up on my husband's lap and staying up late.
  1. Hey Chaos: I'm a rapid cycler/mixed state all the time. I actually don't really know what it's like to be on one pole or the other. -- Not purely at least. Obviously mixed states are the two pushed together in some form, but there are quite a few cocktails. So I'll just tell you what I've found to help me? The first important thing, and I cannot stress this enough, is sleep. Get it. Get on sleeping meds, melatonin, some kind of sleep aid. It breaks up my rapid cycle. I can cycle round about 3 times a day, but my cycle usually follows a pattern once a day. Also, it doesn't have to be at night or on a normal schedule. When you feel tired -- and it will probably hit you at weird times? Take a nap. It's weird how much it helps. But it's super important that you sleep when you feel tired and that when you feel yourself start to go up -- if it's at night -- to get sleep aid and get to bed. Which sucks, it's the last thing I want to do. Are the suicidal thoughts like...a mantra in your head? More like a compulsive thought? Or do they come solely from a shame/ depressed cycle? Haha, about the poster...My husband calls this "getting past the barrier". When something gets past my barrier, so to speak, I cannot let it go, and I become obsessive over it. I am far from OCD. Watch yourself when you can't say no. Ask yourself when you want something if you could say no. If you can't it's a huge red flag in a Mixed State ( I guess I don't know if it is in other states, but it's HUGE for me). If you have someone you trust, have them sort of keep tabs on you. As far as doctors, I've found that for me, it always seems to be a certain lingo you have to use to get them to pay attention to you. Even the best of them. Many of them are reticent in believing in rapid cycling or mixed, at least around here... so that may be one barrier you are running into. I hope this helps? cheers
  2. Hey! I'm new, and I can't wait to get to know you all. Tremors. I have hand tremors. I'm not sure where they come from ( I am between doctors right now -- my doc had to go and upgrade to direct some hospital. The jerk. I was diagnosed 2 years ago. I had basically a HUGE mania that blew everything out of the water. I lost my mind. I think that I trembled then, but everything is a blur in comparison to other things that went down. Ever since, I have had hand tremors- or my whole body. I was on lithium and abilify when I first got out of the hospital, and shook like a dog. I remember there was a little mix up with this police woman and this idiot and I was overcome with...er...nervousness, or something and my whole body shook. Then I went off abilify, and now it's only my hands. It's worse when I try to do controlled movement -- paint finger nails and the like. If I try to hold something out in front of me, or any fine motor tasks... Anyway. Does anyone have this? I guess I have just had so many things come along with this stupid illness, so many random med side effects, so much heart ache and so on, that I hadn't thought 'Wait a minute, maybe that isn't a normal side effect of a drug!' Cheers
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