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DontLookAway

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About DontLookAway

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    Leah

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    http://the-passion-and-the-pain.tumblr.com

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    Woman
  1. The one side effect of Clozaril that I eventually couldn't tolerate was the weight gain ... I wasn't on it for long, but even after going off of it I still had the extreme eating that I'd had with the Clozaril. I'd never experienced anything like that in my life (the amount I ate etc, even when the ED was around). My pdoc prescribed naltrexone and the has really helped keep my weight and appetite under control. Naltrexone helps keep your weight and appetite under control? I'm assuming it suppressed your appetite? I was on that for a while for my self harming and I had no idea it could have that affect, pft, obviously didn't with me.
  2. Just finished devouring Stacy Pershall's "Loud in the House of Myself: Memoir of a Strange Girl" for the second time. It's incredible. I'd recommend it to anybody, especially you guys with MI.
  3. Everything you said...agreed. Poo to that, indeed! It is extremely common for people with bipolar disorder to be noncompliant on their meds, too (which you probably knew), so chances are that it isn't ALL your BPD. I can absolutely relate with your unidentifiable sense of self. I hope we can both find peace and acceptance in taking meds. I like the way you worded that. I want to believe that too.
  4. You do have a great point about the ending. I was glad that at least it wasn't the most obvious one...don't wanna spoil anything for others but yeah. I'm so glad you found it as profound as I did. I'm just really glad it exists as far as mental health awareness goes.
  5. Yay! I love the soundtrack too. No problem, the videos are pretty crappy quality but they're bearable. It was! Not a huge fan of the ending though.
  6. Yupp. Sometimes the only thing that gets me up is the fact that I need to eat.
  7. ...Anyone seen it? It was on and off Broadway; one of the student theatre clubs at my school did it last semester and I fell in love. Here's a summary: "Its story concerns a mother who struggles with worsening bipolar disorder, specifically bipolar 1 disorder with psychotic features, and the effect that her illness has on her family. The musical also addresses such issues as grieving a loss, suicide, drug abuse, ethics in modern psychiatry, and suburban life." It's also hilarious. The user who posted this video also has a few other recordings with different cast members (and better filming without a pole in the middle). I think a lot of you would really enjoy it.
  8. The eternal battle: feeling and being organically myself vs. flat stability and safety on meds. Sometimes I think it's such a blessing to feel so intensely, but other times it's quite obviously a curse. I want to feel better but I also want to be me. I want to be functional and content but I don't want to lose the flying...or even the pain. I hate having to differentiate between which thoughts/emotions/behaviors are me, which are the disorder, and which are the meds. Those of you on meds that work to level you out: was it hard to accept? How did you? I can't bring myself to...
  9. I don't notice it doing a damn thing. I'm thinking about telling the dr I want to go off it. It definitely helps me and my mood, just doesnt sedate or activate me. I tried going off of it a few months ago, and regretted it. It was helping more than I thought it was. Chimako, I'm thinking the same thing. I'd like to actually know if it's doing anything.
  10. I sent a really thoughtful gift to a friend I made when I was inpatient and she just got the package today. She's been having a really hard time and I sent her some things that I hope will help her fight and she said she was bawling - it made her feel really loved and that made me so happy.
  11. the thing is,i don't know your age,but it tends to actually get better with age. IME. Really? I've read that it gets "worse" with age and especially without adequate treatment. I think it is different with everyone. But yeah, without adequate treatment I can see where it would get worse. A lot of websites describe it as progressive, which really freaked me out. And without treatment as well. Who knows...
  12. Just bought these really cute shoes online that I totally don't need and shouldn't be spending money on, but they were cheap.
  13. the thing is,i don't know your age,but it tends to actually get better with age. IME. Really? I've read that it gets "worse" with age and especially without adequate treatment.
  14. I'm so tired of the constant turmoil in my head. I'm tired of the unpredictability and the pain and the intensity. Nothing makes sense and I'm exhausted. I feel like there's no hope for me to ever feel better and I want to fucking die.
  15. True. The person below me likes the beach.
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