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About Roshambo

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    the hood
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    the hood

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  1. umm... its pharmacological fact. im not advising someone to do any of what I wrote. its what I do because its based on fact of pharmacology. also.. my last sentence I reccomend taking the pills as normal thanks for caring regardless and sorry for the mixup. I dont want anyone trying to get high on prescribed meds,
  2. My doctor is the 2nd best in florida and recently started me on nardil in addition to my wellbutrin, about two weeks ago. Started me on 15, tapered me up to 75 once in the morning, and then changed it to 45 in morning 45 at 5pm. I also take a smattering of a bunch of other meds, if you can't see my sig yet, it includes ativan,subutex,baclofen,gabapentin, as the main other psychoactives. What I feel from Nardil, (I boof my bupropion right after I swallow my Nardil) so its hard to differ the effects, but. Wellbutrin comes on instantly as an immediate slightly anxious mood increase with majo
  3. What's up, I'm Denominator, aka Roshambo. I've posted on here starting from when I was 14 and made several posts at age 15, but I'm 20 now. Looking back at my old posts, wow, I see a really.. watered down, yearning, lonely, but also intelligent, resourceful, logical but obsessive over drugs, stoic teenager. Eh. whatever. All the posts I made back then was when I had freedom. At the moment and for the past year I haven't had real freedom. I've been in psych wards, IOP rehabs, Partial Hospitalization rehabs, detoxes and residentials. Currently I reside in a residential program where I've be
  4. After being in the psych ward for 6 days a few weeks ago for doing meth again and getting manic psychotic, I was put on lamictal and abilify. Well a few days after being titrated up, on new years eve I was on 100mg lamictal and 15mg abilify and I had my first tardive dyskenesia episode, my legs got stiff, my tongue swelled up and I couldn't talk or walk without severe difficulty until I took 3mg of klonopin. Well, the next day I didn't take the abilify because I thought that caused it, but I still had the episode. On the 2nd I just took the abilify and felt fine. Since then I resumed both lami
  5. I doubt anyone remembers me but I made some blog posts and forum posts a month or 2 ago about my snorting focalin and doing benzedrex inhalers along with other addictions and unsuccessful meds. Well, since then I've just stopped thinking of my mental disorders as concrete things and just consider myself bipolar NOS because it's easier. I got the whole motherload of schizoid adhd paranoid sometimes manic depressive disharmoniushellride. But after almost locking myself in to a rehab during the interview, they gave me a tour and it was just like the crisis unit, thorazine zombies and one flew ove
  6. I never know if I feel normal, or if I even remember what normal feels like, or happiness even. When I was 12 years old, I was happy. I got bullied, I was fat, lazy, but I was happy. I had motivation and emotions. But I remember stumbling upon a bottle of xanax on top of my fridge, looking at it for weeks, contemplating taking one. I eventually took 1, and I remember feeling like everything was alright, none of my problems mattered. It started as a once a week thing. And then an every day thing. And then, I found a bottle of adderall, when I was 13 I think. Xanax and adderall, my life was perf
  7. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 12, put on concerta. I wasn't really fidgedy, I just started puberty very early and around that time I started being bored with everything and not being focused. I've been on and off concerta, focalin, and focalin xr for years, but after a year of not being able to be prescribed scheduled substances, I got put back on focalin in June. I just have an addictive tendency and always go overboard with it, considering I've been dealing with a meth addiction. Does anyone have any tips on how I can control myself, or tell myself when to call it quits?
  8. From this doctor, Bipolar I with schizoaffective traits (or without? I don't remember.) , ADHD, and depression. My past doctors all agreed on ADHD and depression, but myself, I think I have anhedonia and schizoid personality disorder.
  9. My focalin abuse is something I'm trying to stop, I was addicted to meth for a long long time, the focalin helped me quit, but I still have addictive tendencies. I'm taking the lexapro as prescribed. I'm also probably going to be posting in the addictions forum. I'm not trying to be pro-abuse or triggering, I hate having this crutch.
  10. My whole mental health deal has been a huge fiasco from july 2013 to january 2014, 4 hospitalizations, 2 IOP/partial hospitalizations, and every med you can think of (except the good ones) I've been on 10mg of focalin, 150mg of wellbutrin sr and 300mg of seroquel (supposed to be daily, I just take it when I cant sleep) and .2mg clonidine. I stopped the wellbutrin myself a few weeks ago because I couldn't stand the taste of cigarettes and lack of nicotine buzz. Well, yesterday my PDOC put me on lexapro. The last SSRI I remember was prozac, and it made me feel like I was on dxm all the time,
  11. Punk music. Times when I'm not thinking about the weed I can't get because I have no contacts. That 5 minute period of time when you first wake up and forget who you are.
  12. Arrhythmia, heart palpitations, Pure O (haven't had it in a while), and tremors, even when I'm not anxious because of all the brain damage I've gotten from prozac and shit.
  13. Clozapine is one of the worst and dirtiest AAPs, it works on so many receptors, causing interactions with other drugs and terrible side effects. I'd go with lithium, it's the oldest and most studied mood stabilizer.
  14. It's walking on eggshells with the damn doctors. Say 1 wrong word and boom, you hit a mine, 1 more month in the damn psych ward.
  15. I'm prescribed lamictal 150mg, but I don't take it because I was on it twice before , a year ago, at 400mg. I don't remember much about the effects other than it made me feel weak, feverish, and too "crystal clear sharp but not in a good way" if you get what I mean. It could've been because I was on a clusterfuck of terrible meds, prozac, lithium, geodon, etc. But when I was on it with prozac at 400mg a few years ago, it didn't do much of anything. I don't even think it did anything at all. I want to try going back on it, I already know the precautions and how to taper up safely, but w
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