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About HowlingWolf

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    Writing, Reading, Riding horses, wildlife, camping, hiking, music, anime, friends, blue, science, deep conversations, new ideas, being with friends, sleeping, and thunder storms.

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  1. Looking for some opinions. In my past experiences,and,the way i was raised, the guy typically is primarily responsible or both contribute equally. This does not include if the guy loses,his job, gets injured, etc. Then of course the other partner should have their back girl, guy, neutral, etc. Doesnt matter. So here is an interesting scenario. And they arent very young, like fresh out of school. Im talking around 30 years old. The guy (or really any one partner!) before deductions makes more than the girl for now. However, after paying persoal bills and deduction
  2. I like the idea of a holiday dump thread. Holidays can be very difficult for someone. Though, I hope everyone gets through it ok! For me, this will be my first Christmas with my son alone after a break up. Christmas morning will be difficult for both of us I believe and I know it will be challenging for me to be strong for him, but I think I can do this. I've been working on bettering myself and being stronger than I feel. And this won't be hard because I miss my ex, but because I want someone, a partner to share the holiday with. I think I shouldn't struggle so much because I do h
  3. I dont know that I can keep them apart 100%. For the most part yes. For the past 6ish months I have been able to. Another issue is that I am supposed to be going to California to see the west at my aunt's other property. He will not be ok with me going without him (which I agree with him i dont think we should be apart in a serious relationship and if roles were reversed i would be the exact same way, like we agree really well with what we expect from our relationship). But he will not go there with me because he will be nasty to my aunt and uncle. He wants nothing to do with them because of t
  4. I am afraid to talk to him about the camera thing because he is so convinced it seems. We even talked about it with his own family some. He even wants to confront my aunt about them. Like, whoa. Is he just convinced there must be a camera out of paranoia (he does have PTSD) and i understand paranoia because i get it in waves. And yes, keeping them apart is a possibility, it is just a sad one. I have asked him to prove the cameras and he said he cannot since he got locked out or something like that. Something to do with the security. I thought his story was far fetc
  5. No, im not sure. He claims he was able to hack them once and saw 5, then got locked out. He was saying that there was a camera in the thermostat and the next day I got a call from my aunt with her telling me there was a camera in the thermostat. He said that to test her. So that's all the proof i have if that's even enough. She said all those thermostats have a camera, but I looked them up and they so not. So i dont know what to think of that. However, she genuinely does seem to be oblivious to any of my conversations i had with him there except for that one. Her behavior seems relatively cons
  6. UPDATE: So instead of making a new topic, i thought I would post here again. I could really use some more advice. Things with my boyfriend have been alright, but again there is a huge issue. So, there is some evidence of cameras in the house, but not enough that I am fully convinced he is not lying to me. He is not a people person and works in an environment where seeing death is normal. He is convinced that my aunts husband is watching videos fron the cameras for sexual purposes (no evidence of this except for a suspected camera in my bedroom, he says why else would it be there?)
  7. Thank you for the responses. Unfortunately, I do believe my son's behavior is affected by what happened. My family that I stay with give him everything he wants and does not correct poor behavior. They make excuses for him and it's been getting worse and worse. My ex reaches out to me from time to time. Tries to entice me to return with I love you and what not. Pissed off, I said some things to him that were negative and he certainly took it badly. Now I'm crossing my fingers hoping he lets it go instead of doing anything about it. But him reaching out makes things difficult. I find myse
  8. Thank you for the links. They were helpful, but my answers were all over the place on whether or not the signs are present. Based on the quiz you posted, I'm in a healthy relationship. Cerberus, Thank you for your thoughtful response. I did not continue to go on the sites. I stopped immediately when he said something and that was very early in the relationship. I've been all over the place and went through a sabatoge period, but I've gotten past that. Your reply was helpful and I appreciate it. I do plan on leaving the house as soon as I am able. My aunt is insan
  9. Thank you so much to anyone who reads all of this. i feel that i am in a very bad situation and I dont know what to do. I have only ever been manipulated and abused in relationships. I have even been manipulated by my own family. I don't know how to tell and I always want to see the good in people. I know I'm vulnerable and an easy target, but that doesn't mean that only manipulators would try to date me. My problem is that I've been dating this guy for 3 months and I have no idea if he is genuinely trying to help me, or if he is a good manipulator. He has proven that he is extremely inte
  10. Thank you for your input. The fact that he is diagnosed with growth failure is why I stress so hard over it. He is extremely small for his size even though the doctor cannot find anything wrong. At this point, he either eats or he doesn't eat. I will not reward nor punish for him for it. I had my boyfriend over for dinner with us and he ate EVERYTHING on his plate. My boyfriend has a son the same age and suggests we remain silent while we ate and talked after. The talking is a distraction and when they aren't playing or talking, he will eat. At least that was a major part of it. Anyway, removi
  11. I have always had trouble getting my son to eat. He will never eat if he is distracted like has people around. He will literally do anything for attention including not eat so you will tell him to eat or watch him or feed him. Yes, my family will hand feed him sometimes which I know causes more problems with this. I've tried time outs. I tried letting him go without hoping he will eat when he is hungry. He went a day and a half without eating and I couldn't take it anymore. I tried giving him different things to chose from. I tried ignoring him. I tried making him sit there until he eats
  12. I've posted on the relationships board about my recent break up. I had to take my son and leave. The only family I have in that state was my mom, who was also living with my aunt. I felt at the time, that it was not a good place for us. My mom and I do not get along at all, living under the same roof. My dad and I have a bad relationship. Actually, we don't really talk and he has 2 toddlers and an infant. So, not a good place for us either. I called my aunt, who've I've always trusted and told her what was happening (about the breakup, but not everything that was happening in my relationship).
  13. I still have not returned. I am getting a little pressure from my mom, but she is not aware of the abuse. Even without that, I'm not sure if I really would return, even though, admittedly, I want to. Thank you all for your support. This has been extremely difficult for me and there are days where I'm still in denial. And I have never heard of any cycles with regards to partner violence. I've had relationships before this one that were also abusive, but those were more black and white and the decision for me to leave was much easier than it is now.
  14. Thank you all for your responses. The last time he was abusive towards me was over a year ago. I still think a lot of why he acted this way in the end was from what happened to his mother. The abuse I believe is greatly from his own depression which I tried to help him with. He was fine towards me when he saw a therapist and was on meds. He always brought me flowers and I lived a life where I could do whatever I wanted (he made enough to support the three of us on his own). We've been apart for two months now. I started dating someone new. My now ex is sending me flowers and cards saying
  15. I've been in this relationship for 5 years. We have a baby boy together. Much of the time we are happy together and are compatible. We want the same things out of life. I made a post on here over 2 years ago talking about domestic violence. He was violent towards me a lot. It was not just pushing and slapping. It was very, very violent (though nothing broken thankfully). It got better for a while. Then it returned and got better again. There's been a lot of arguing though, but that got better as well. He certainly has issues with anger, and I always believed it could be worked out with medicat
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