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  1. thank you for sharing your story. I relate. I know what you're saying about diminishing effects and am worried. I was also a drug user in my youth, coke and oxy but never Ketamine. wishing you all the best.
  2. thank you. my insurance does not cover it. I have funds from an inheritance. it's expensive. I felt a shift under the influence the first time, then it went away and i thought it was a waste. But after 7-8 infusions over some months, the world slowly came alive for me. I saw the beauty in things for maybe the first time. my protocol is 3 infusions a month and 4 take home doses. I do this for now. I will continue as long as it seems to work. I don't know if i will ever be "cured" , not need it for me sanity. One day at a time. stay well, friend.
  3. Hi all, I've been bipolar with treatment resistant depression since I was 20. I'm 46 now. My life has been destroyed by MI, frequent hospital stays, welfare $, lost every job, lost every gf, no education. It's been 36 years in hell, alone, I was suicidal for the longest time. One year ago my doctor, having tried everything, suggested Ketamine treatment. I'm in California where it's possible. I've been going in for infusions once a month and have had a few taker home doses. For the first time since I was a child I feel part of the world and I am able to appreciate things where before i was numb. The ketamine makes me feel human, I didn't remember. It's been a year and i feel i am on to something. Maybe I have a few good life years left. My Q: Does anyone else have experience with Ketamine? I am curious about other peoples journey. For me, I can see that life isn't misery, that on the horizon there is beauty and goodness.
  4. I also take marijuana products. I was medical patient for 3 years but now it's all legalized in California. It's the only substance I add to the regular psych meds (abilify, celexa, lamictal). I find it calms me down and I take it instead of benzo's which I have a ridiculous tolerance to after many years. Just wanted to chime in and let you know there are many of us green people out there.
  5. I did shrooms in my teens before I was diagnosed bipolar at 24 after a long state hospital stay. My point being that I have great memories of those early trips. However, 6 months after that horrid first psychosis I went slightly manic and went to Amsterdam where it was legal back then (not anymore). I took the recommended dose and completely lost control over the situation 2 hours later. The walls were coming in on me. The TV spoke directly to me in a threatening way, it was induced schizophrenia. I was shaking and had anxiety from another galaxy and thought i would never come down. This was many years ago now. After that bad trip I didn't do any psychedelic apart from weed which I still enjoy for 15 years. I was scared straight. Lately though I have tripped on acid a few times alone with music, candles, phone turned off and other safety precautions. I live in a city where the whole psychedelic culture started so it's accepted and easy to find here. Weed is legal. I don't have any advice but to don't do it too close to mania since you can open that door while tripping and get stuck in that room. I would be as stable as possible if doing it after diagnosis if at all. Be sure to be on meds at the time and in a good mind space. Mushrooms can definitely make the situation worse and unbearable. You wanna be super careful.
  6. Thank you, whoever you are out there. It's just not good for MI and it can cause it. It's not for us. Peace out.
  7. Thanks for replying, Gearhead and yeah, good idea cuz something has to be done. I really feel addicted and have anxiety first and foremost but also psychotic features. Thanks for the reply. EDIT:Just read the article and yeah, it rings true for me that cannabis caused my psychosis .
  8. Hi, I'm on 5 different psych meds but I smoke so much weed I wonder if it makes the anti-psychotics ineffective. And I have such a hard time smoking less, I am legal, medical card and that makes it so easy. I get it prescribed for anxiety. I feel it just causes anxiety. I really hate this drug which is supposedly harmless and non-addictive because for me thats not true. It's messing with my life. I can't stop smoking. Sorry for the rant, but it was good to just say this. Fuck THC!
  9. Hey OP with the coke issues. I don't think this is the place to talk about your situation. if you go to bluelight.org and once there click on the dark side. They will be understanding and no judgment. But yeah, coke does not mix with psych meds and even acceptance forums like bluelight will tell you that.
  10. hey there, yes kratom is a good idea but it can NOT be smoked or snorted. Thats crazy talk. You can buy the powder online and put it in veggie caps. It has a mild pain killing effect. To your other point: how would you find fentanyl? it's not like anyone advertise "heres vicodin laced with...". I understand it's frustrating. I can't recommend buying oxycodone or vic's. hey Geared, I wasn't thinking, Im sorry. good luck.
  11. Thanks, Melissa, for me it's a deal breaker. I'm in a situation where I have to stay on psych meds, my diagnosis is bipolar but I have been diagnosed SZA in the past. Those links you posted gave me a lot of great info, again thanks.
  12. Hi, I am very interested in this. Wondering: can you do Ketamine infusions while on psych meds or do you have to go off meds in order to do it? I have TRD and am just surviving, not living. I could not find your FB group with those search words. Thanks for any info. Peace.
  13. Very few doc's will prescribe Vyvanse as it's an amphetamine and a powerful one at that.HIgh abuse potential, psychosis inducing etc I would personally love to be on vyvanse and take it responsibly since my fatigue/anhedonia has lasted 8 months now. but if you have a doc who's willing, it's worth a try IMO.
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