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About angel_heart

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    Feeling better, tyvm!

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  1. I quit smoking Oct 7, 2014. And I went out Friday night to a vape meet-greet by myself and had a great time.
  2. Hello, once again I'm putting this on CB for several reasons. One is for prosperity; I can review it in my account and see the progress I've made down the road. And because I want to put it our there so I don't feel so alone in my struggles. Here goes nothing again: October 4, 2014 Mr. R, I like to drink water. I really enjoy it iced-cold with a touch of crystal light in my larger tumbler with a straw. For quite some time I’ve been drinking plain water straight from the faucet. This analogy is indicative to my life I’ve lived for too long. Tap water sufficed as though
  3. One of the best moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of the things you can't change. Yes, I saw that in your signature and took it to heart! And thanks for the kind words ^ and ^^. Take care
  4. Hi Melissa, long time since we've 'chatted.' Hope you're doing well. I'm not sending it to that therapist though; it's just an assignment to give to my current therapist. Never, never would I send this letter to him. And I feel tons better putting 'pen to paper.' Take care
  5. Hello, I wanted to share a letter I wrote to my former therapist as part of the current assignment giving by my current therapist. My reasoning to do so is two-fold; I want to do so for prosperity; it'll be on CB for me to review on regular basis and hopefully feel better down the road. And because I believe it will be therapeutic sharing it online. It's not so private and personal anymore. I'd appreciate any comments or suggestions. I'll give it to my current therapist next week. Here goes nothing. October 2, 14 Mr. R, Why? Why did I tolerate and accept those subtle and
  6. I haven't been feeling well and have delayed doing chores of any kind except laundry. I live alone so without someone else with me now I have no external motivator to illicit effort. I woke up at 4 am and about an hour ago I finally did the dishes. Yea, a big deal for me. Sad that I just am not motivated to do more right now. oh well.
  7. Water, Yes, it took a few sessions but I do trust her. We haven't discuss the ramifications of my implications yet. We are still working on accepting it. I have weekly sessions with her. I have time to get the help I need. Thanks for your suggestions; I really appreciate your support and insight.
  8. Sourlemon- I appreciate your support. I've decided to write down my thoughts and keep a diary before I complete the letter assignment. So far: I'm not a credible client; hx of poor insight and poor judgement, mood disorder, ptsd, anxiety, r/o schizoaffective disorder. In other words: one sick puppy. Want to go back to denial and blame my illness. And "he would do that to me." That's all I wrote so far and this post is helpful as was your kind words.
  9. Thanks Wooster- Fortunately I wasn't physically sexually abused by him; I'm considered a victim because of what he said and did in sessions. Inappropriate and unacceptable, according to Ms. A. She is the one who termed 'victim and revictimation' in our session.
  10. Water - thanks; your suggestions are helpful. Trusting this new therapist is a bit trying but I'm making the effort to confine in her and hope to be more confident in trusting her.
  11. Water- Thanks for replying; I appreciate it. Ms. A discussed predatory behaviors and how the process of grooming, testing limits, building trust to keep secrets, etc. I don't want to go to the police. I think if my therapist was confident I was a victim she would do something on my behalf. I just wish I wasn't haunted by the memories of our sessions right now; painful and disorienting.
  12. Hello, although I haven't posted for a long time, I still peruse CB often. And I wanted to share what is happening in therapy sessions; it'll be difficult but I will try to be coherent and succinct. Prior to having my new therapist, Ms. A (I've had about 8 sessions), I has sessions with an older therapist, Mr. R, for approximately two years. I've been discussing Mr. R and the tenuous and confusing therapeutic relationship we had. Mr. R is a PTSD specialist and the first therapist I've discussed all my traumas including the sexual ones. I shared so much details and personal info
  13. I'm anxious right now and can't get to sleep. I'm seeing a new therapist tomorrow and that whole process is stressing me out. I was seeing the same therapist for over two years and he ended the sessions due to insurance constraints. Now my pdoc wants me to see another therapist because all his patients get counseling. I hope it goes well.
  14. Wow, sorry it ended badly for you. Your were more trusting than I would have been. One does not know someone's history and to assume the best in a person is so risky. I'd be a bit worry as she has your address and knows what you have in your home. I hope nothing bad comes out of your efforts to be helpful.
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