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About glasssss999

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  1. No, but I was using cannabis WAyyyyyy back in the 1960s when the stuff was a much gentler brew. Prednisone triggers my psychosis, and since I sometimes need the stuff to stay alive the problem can become acute and results in a IP holliday.
  2. Predators and Users are like that. They may move on to use and abuse other people and leave you alone for a while but eventually they have a quiet time, get bored, and wander your way again. Just in case; just because you might; just because they don't have the moral or emotional understanding to get that what they are doing is just plain ugly and deeply wrong. You managed so well last time ... Do exactly what you are planning, ignore the bugger. No eye contact, no head movements, no words, no nothing! I think that because you managed to break the contact before he will not persist for as long this time around. You do realise how well you managed this situation, don't you ? In our hyper social world it is very,very,hard to end contact with anyone ... it just goes against every social instinct we have. Big Hugs ... Nana
  3. I think that your terrifying ordeal, your survival, and the release that those two crucial deaths gave you, have granted you the right and the clarity to experience life in a totally diferent way. The calm of stability is a precious gift and the gift of a daughter is a miracle. Yep, the crazies do burble up now and then and is great to be able to share the loony bits with folk who have been there too. Like you, I don't try to share all the details of the worst times with friends, family.and beloved husband. The reasons for withholding the gory details do not come from shame or dishonesty but from the certain knowledge that such confronting knowledge would cause pain and panic in people that I dearly love, And this would precipitate tensions and anxiety for everyone. Ambition is more often a curse than a virtue, and I have attemptd to stay well clear of it too. I trulybelieve that the purpose of life is only to survive with grace and generosity. Good Luck
  4. Ahhhhh ... god'n'guns'n'gratuitous........
  5. One is a complex, organised, mythic, morality tale of dubious benefit to individual or society. The other is a complex, disorganised, opressive and fragmented waking nightmare that is destructive in intensity and alienation.
  6. BP symptoms range from fairly benign mood swings to violent and unpredictable mood swings with constant paranoia. Your symptoms lie in the extreme high end, and at this severity it is very difficult to seperate BP from Schiz. It is important to remember that all Psych diagnoses are subjective, descriptive and arbitrary. It is entirely possible that one Psychiatrist might diagnose severe BP and another might diagnose Schiz. Whatever AS ; you are in big mobs of steaming shit and you are NOT going to be able to pull yourself out of the dung pile by yourself. And this is true whether you are a troll or a qualified Loony like the rest of us. What are you doing associating with the Crazies anyway ???
  7. Yep, I work out small,really high calorie meals . I keep the stuff in the fridge and a list of suggestions pinned to the front of the fridge. If I don't keep that list there then my mind goes blank and I just forget that I have options. The tough thing is to get the fruit and veges component up because they tend to be low calorie and fill you up ; so I juice lots of them and mix in cream and greek yoghurt. Little pastries are great and creamy pasta sauces and almost anything french. I have to be careful that things are quick to prepare otherwise by the time I get to eat them I feel sated with the smell and just want to dump them in the bin ! A kindly dietitian helped me develop recipes and she loved it because everyone she sees needs to lose weight. Oh, lots of cheese, pork crackling and roast chicken skin.
  8. Beautiful ... may you continue to cherish yourself dearly.
  9. ECT followed by MAOI meds ... lifechangeing and near miraculous!
  10. If you are studying Islam then you must already be studying at a Madrassah or be in close contact with the Mullah of a local mosque. Please share these concerns with your teacher. He will be in a position to guide you in a more tolerant an knowledgable way than your prospective sister-in-law.
  11. climber ... your litany of small addictive tendencies really make me smile in sympathy. I would love to indulge in three glasses of wine each night but my darling pours the wine and I only get one. I definitely have a minor pain killer habit ... and I do mean minor, as in two or three panadeine /day. I take extra propranolol and promethazine most afternoons to lessen the desire for other less benign drugs. And none of this is of the tiniest interest to a pdoc or GP as it is considered way below significant addiction diagnosis. I'm very old now but these irrelevant habits have been with me all my life. The drugs have changed as time went by and meds came and went (and sometimes came again) . But the constant reality is that I have sought and used non-prescription pharmacy drugs, and to a lessor extent prescription meds, forever. Not to the extent that I had to pharmacy shop which is a good thing because now the pharmacy delivers to me out of respect for my advanced age. Just refuse to beat yourself up about this ... if we could do any better then we would so kindness ad generosity to yourself is paramount.
  12. Perhaps this is acually one of the defining symptoms of MI : we are all congenital liars who wear a mask of normality until it becomes unbearable to keep up the pretence. We build walls and defences, plug spills and trickles but eventually the paranoia, halucinations, suicidal depression or self harm, leaks out of our carefully constructed self images. The problem is that we confuse and frighten people, especially our family and friends, but actually everyone in our society. And frightened people do stupid things. So it is safer for us and the world if we keep up the facade of ordinary for as long as we can. But the effort is exhausting ...............
  13. DtM ... you clearly have an excellent grasp of the psychotic reactions that you have had and the probable aetiology. Damn ! Glad that you have pdoc appointment soon. Don't stop the respridone before your appointment. Go to it as clear headed as you can. Stopping the AP suddenly is VerY bad for your brain and can easily cause rebound psychosis. It may also make you less responsive to the drug (or even the whole class of APs) when you need them again. Do remember that each time that you have symptoms of acute psychosis you are one step closer to setting up a lifetime problem. Good Luck
  14. The adderall probably is implicated in your generalised muscle tension/pain syndrome but I guess that life is not workable without it. As you are already working with a PT the two other treatments suggested by Melissaw are worth a try. Acupunture can be very effective for musculoskeletal pain and so can the low light Laser therapy (though it is more akin to laser acupuncture). Medications that are effective on an ongoing long term basis are the beta blocker Propranolol which can reduce muscle tension and the old antihistamine Hydroxyzine. Both are ok for long tem use and completely non-addictive. The bernzodiazepines are good for relief of muscle tension and pain ... a bit too good unfortunately as they are really addictive and difficult to use long term as you just keep needing more to get the same relief. I totally get that some people can use them long term but those folk are the rare and unusual and I certainly am not one of the lucky chosen ! The last group of drugs that can cause reduction of neuro-musular pain are the AAPs and Neurontin in particular. The problem with long term muscle tension and pain is that it sets up a self-reinforcing feedback loop. The chronic muscle tension causes pain the quite quickly makes both the sensory and motor nerve pathways trigger happy causing increased pain and a feedback loop that makes the muscles go into protective spasm and reinforcing pain. It is a lose/lose situation. I get amazing pain relief from a combination of the AD Amitiptyline and the AAP Seroquel. This is golden cocktail for me. I also do stretches for the tension and I swim three times a week which both stretches and strengthens my knotty muscles. I have less pain and i'm much fitter.
  15. Oh Mel ... Life is utterly unbearable without the drugs ... and equally intolerable with the drugs. BiG HuGs
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