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kittykatnes

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Everything posted by kittykatnes

  1. I have come to the realization that I will never be completely "cured", and now I'm having a mini mental breakdown. I have always wanted to just fit in and be seen as normal

  2. 5 days until we start our move to California! : )

  3. Lexapro: Miracle drug (for me). I never thought I could be this person, a happy person

    1. tired tammy

      tired tammy

      It is a relief to find something that actually works. Congrats!

    2. cosima
    3. kittykatnes

      kittykatnes

      thank you both :-)

  4. This thread has been incredibly inspiring for me to read. I'm a Program Coordinator Intern at NAMI(The National Alliance on Mental Illness), and a Research Assistant for PTSD research at my husband's base. Both are unpaid, but I enjoy them and they have made my resume look fantastic! Having these experiences will help a lot when I apply to grad school. I plan to get my PhD in Clinical Psychology so I can treat patients and conduct depression research.
  5. I feel the same way. I'm hoping my new medication will give me the energy and willpower to get back into something. I've been told that the best thing to do is just to force yourself to spend about 20 minutes working on a hobby to feel better. And then eventually you will get more interested in it again. It's all in the decision to start. I'm about to meditate and then get through a chapter of learning Japanese. I've been avoiding both of those things because of my depression, but I'm not letting depression boss me around today.
  6. Making a delicious healthy dinner for my husband and I
  7. I have a tabby cat named Nyan (which means "meow" in Japanese). He makes me really happy just because he loves me and my husband SOOO much. lol. I dunno what I'd do without him!
  8. Starting Lexapro tomorrow. I hope this one will be the one. Ready to feel normal and happy again.

  9. Want to start taking an antidepressant, but scared of side effects :/ will the benefits outweigh the risks?

    1. dragonfly23

      dragonfly23

      Sometimes, but you got start trying them to get the right one :-)

    2. kittykatnes

      kittykatnes

      The ones I have tried before only made my depression worse to where I would cry all day and had suicide ideation. I don't know why they give me that reaction... but I have an appointment with the pdoc this week to try a new one

  10. I think I want to get a divorce. Sad, lost, afraid

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. kittykatnes

      kittykatnes

      There are so many other things relating to the military life too. I do need to get back into therapy

    3. tired tammy

      tired tammy

      I have a pretty good therapist, so I am sort of into it since it helps! I bet military life is difficult.

    4. kittykatnes

      kittykatnes

      I need a therapist like your therapist! I'm glad yours helps you :) I need faith that I will find one I like..

      And it is difficult..but rewarding and exciting if you can make the best of it. It's amazing to get to move so many new places, but it's hard to start over again and again. I just can't bear losing friends again

  11. I just wanted to say thank you to CB and everyone here. Whenever I log on, I feel a sense of optimism & hope. Thank you.

    1. tired tammy

      tired tammy

      I am glad you feel supported! :)

  12. I am in a similar situation... I feel extremely fed up with trying to treat my depression issues. I feel like the "depression" is mild enough that I don't need an antidepressant, and so far I haven't found a therapist that is able to understand or help me. I totally understand wanting to quit everything. I DO NOT enjoy the med-go-round one bit. Whenever I try an antidepressant, I immediately start to have suicidal thoughts and crying spells... It's too much for me. I just don't know how to help any of it. I feel like I just made a step in the right direction though by reaching out to my doctor and discussing finding a new therapist. I don't know if anything will change, but I know if I don't try at all, there is not even a possibility of things changing. This is just something I have to tell myself. Are any of your family members/friends understanding of MI? I would call someone close to you and talk just so you can feel their support (even if they don't necessarily know how to help). This usually makes me feel well enough to make a progressive first step for myself.
  13. I have no passion or dreams anymore.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. kittykatnes

      kittykatnes

      I will let you know. I think it's just a passing depression funk. One thing I'm doing is training for a 5k. I'm just making myself do it even though I never really *want* to go running, but afterwards I feel great. I think having a little goals help

    3. tired tammy

      tired tammy

      Funny you should mention running. I have been power walking and have completed a 10k and 5k and started the couch to 5k program. I injured my hip on day 2 of running and have wrecked my exercise schedule, so maybe that is why I am having some depressive issues too! I also feel better after exercising. Good luck to you and let me know how your race goes!

    4. kittykatnes

      kittykatnes

      I really want to do the color run! and i would just really look forward to the races. I want to eventually be able to run crazy distances like 10 miles.

      I did Day 1 of a couch to 5k plan today. It was really refreshing :)

      Good luck to you too, hope you recover from your injury and get back into it!

  14. Why can't I just feel normal?

  15. Goal: to learn how to treasure alone time instead of fearing it. Changing my perspective. :)

  16. Yoga, shopping online, making a coffee or going to Starbucks, reading, taking pictures, and doing pilates. Today it will be coffee and some healthy cooking. Oh and going to Chili's tonight... that's a favorite pasttime
  17. I have been with my husband for three years, and we are really happy. Things were pretty rough whenever I went through a particularly horrible depressive episode or anxiety-ridden period of time, but like Mellifluous, my husband has no MI and grounds me in that way. When your partner doesn't have MI or just isn't as emotional, it's hard for them to see through your eyes. Ben is extremely patient and more understanding about my issues than he used to be(something that took a while to learn!). Another thing that helped was just learning how to help myself as much as possible, instead of relying on him every time. If you put forth as much effort as possible to be strong for yourself, it isn't as big of a burden on your partner to be strong for you too when you really need it. I do think it's possible to have a lasting relationship when you have MI, just know that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
  18. Hanging out with my hub and Nyan :P

  19. Conceited people drive me up the wall. I wish I could simultaneously punch all of them. Having self confidence is good!! But being full of yourself and putting other people down is not okay

  20. Whatever you do in life, do not move to Maryland. xD "Hey I live in Maryland!!" Don't care :P

  21. Made a new friend at the photography store. Reason to smile. : )

  22. Anxiety is making it damn hard to finish all these school projects... this sucks.

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