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Everything posted by kittykatnes

  1. Loved reading everyone's goals. this kind of positivity brightens me up. and it's just cool knowing what everyone is up to. Also, I get so caught up in my overwhelming day-to-day crap and get frustrated but this is a good reminder that everyone has overwhelming crap. My goal today is to keep taking care of myself and my hubby because we are recovering from having a little too much fun at a halloween party! (My first time having tequila xD) And I'm going to thoroughly enjoy the magnificent large stuffed crust pizza that is about to arrive at my apartment.
  2. Please can I start feeling better:( not giving up just yet

  3. that's a really good idea! I had the same problem for a long time with my depression, but I found a book that has pretty short chapters and that helps so I can have a lot of breaks. I'm sure soon enough I will be able to read whatever like I used to. Some books are just easier to read than others too and that helps.
  4. Thank you so much to everyone who responded. And helloheartbreak I will try to do that. I just don't know how to stop the negative thinking anymore. I have obsessive negative thoughts that are nagging at me all the time. My docs have recommended meditation, but as soon as I stop meditating the thoughts come back full force. I have spent so much time alone here and the obsessive thinking and worrying is turning me into a miserable person. It is really hard to enjoy life like this. I remember when I used to be happy :'( does anyone know what causes the nagging worrying and overanalyzing? How am I supposed to get better?
  5. My husband has one good friend that we hang out with often, and when his girlfriend visits it's really fun to hang out as a group together! A lot of times I just feel left out when it's just the guys because they geek out and talk about computers for nine hours...lol And whenever there is a dinner or event with his coworkers I go with him, but I never really met anyone I'd click with friendwise. For some reason there isn't a Navy wives club at our base (Walter Reed), and most of the wives I have met are a lot older and have babies. And all they do is just sit around with their babies and it's so boring ha. There's a halloween party tomorrow night that we're going to which I'm looking forward to. Maybe we'll meet some cool new people. I had so many setbacks with trying to get everything fixed for school and getting transcripts from TX sent over here but I'm finally transferring to a university this spring and I plan to bust my ass going to clubs and making friends. It's hard though because I know that I'm going to have to move to a new place soon enough and have to start the friend-making all over again. Probably right when my husband will be deployed...yay.:/ Oh and I've been trying different meds for anxiety and depression. One thing I am really thankful for are my doctors. Especially my Psychiatrist.. she's awesome. I can tell they really care about my well-being and have already helped so much.
  6. I'm 21 and my husband is 22. I guess I still feel "too young" just because we didn't get the chance to take time to get married like a civilian couple is lucky enough to. We dated for a year and a half before he proposed, and then a week later we went to the courthouse to get married to make things easier when we lived together ( I thought at the time that we would still have a wedding, but it didn't happen). It still pains me looking at people's wedding pictures But I relocated from my hometown of Houston, TX to Bethesda, MD. And it's completely sucked trying to get my college and everything figured out. Been trying different things but I still haven't made friends. My husband is my only friend here and I have developed crazy depression on-and-off. Like I'll be strong and try really hard, and then I've had enough and break down and question what the fuck I'm doing. This lifestyle is really hard. I guess it is anxiety that makes me unable to escape negative thoughts, over analyzing my relationship. I don't know. Whenever I can't escape my thoughts the main thing I want to do is drink until I kill the pain. It's ridiculous that I over think my marriage to the point where I want to run away from everything and start over and not have to deal with this. But I know that life is never going to be perfect, right? Am I obsessed with perfection? lol. Oh my god what is my problem!!! I realize that my first post didn't make much sense and that's because I was extremely upset when I wrote it... I am in counseling. and no he hasn't deployed yet. He's on shore duty for another year.
  7. I'm too young. Or he's not the right person, even though I thought he was. He is my first love, and the Navy rushed our relationship. I have been living in Maryland with him for a year almost and over half the time was spent questioning my relationship. I sometimes don't even know whether I overanalyze this because I'm fucking nuts and don't know what I want, or I am experiencing something that may be normal as a young military spouse. I wish someone just wouldn't judge me and understand the pain and confusion I'm experiencing over this. I'm afraid that if I need to end this relationship that I would just lose my mind and need to be institutionalized or something from being so depressed and messed up. I hate how depressing this is. I wish I still had a good friend here. Bleh
  8. I need a good book to keep me distracted from my anxiety/depression. I like stories based on realistic characters and their struggles, and if a love story is thrown in there too I'd probably love it! For some reason I can't get into stories that are WAY too sci-fi/fantasy... I get bored and slightly annoyed from stories like that. Books I loved reading: The Fault in Our Stars The Perks of Being A Wallflower Impulse (and other Ellen Hopkins books, I love her poetry and her dark stories. But especially Impulse because it's related to mental illness.) I thought I'd ask all of you lovely people what you thought. Thanks <3
  9. I take it occasionally when I'm anxious and it calms me down dramatically, almost too much... It makes me feel sleepy/drugged, but that's definitely better than me freaking the fuck out ha. I think I may just be super sensitive to medications
  10. My first husband was in Abu Dhabi I think. They let him come back for multiple reasons. He was the sole provider for our son because my mother in law (his mom) was going to put him up for adoption. It was really messed up and I don't remember how they listed it on his DD214. Zoloft worked well for my anxiety but did nothing for my depression. It may work well for you. That's something that your brain will decide. I wish they just made one pill that handles everything and cures cancer, but it doesn't work that way. YET. I have hope. Wow that's fucked up :/ yeah the hard frustrating part is trying out different medications. Not finding one for my previous depression (years ago) is what made me give up on medication all together. It seemed like I tried dozens. But I'm willing to try again, because I feel like I don't have any other options. I have hope too.
  11. Yeah I have both. Every day is a struggle to be strong, especially because I don't have any friends where we're stationed. I only have my husband to talk to. And he doesn't understand any of what I go through with anxiety or depression lol I'm just "upset" in his mind. I'm tired of being weird for having my problems. Being here is like a huuuuge breath of fresh air
  12. Scissor song?? How does it go, I can't think of that one... I'm not cool. I'm actually pretty dorky and boring. Seriously. You made me want to listen to "Creep" I love Radiohead. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here, I don't belong here <3 My sister loves Deftones and has tried to get me to listen to them but I think they are too intense for me. I will keep listening and see though And I love Nirvana, so maybe I'll like Foo Fighters.
  13. what cute dogs :) I wish I had a backyard so I could get one.
  14. thanks and the same to you. i love music too! Death Cab for Cutie is my happy music. I like other indie music similar to them, and then I like hardcore like ADTR and The Devil Wears Prada. Also Thrice, Brand New, Parkway Drive, and I can't think of anything else right now cause my brain's tired. lol. What do you listen to?
  15. MrTastybutt...I can't even type that without smiling xD I didn't know they COULD come back for that. I just thought when they leave you're basically screwed no matter what. I'm glad you know the lifestyle though, And the "mental issues" lifestyle. ha I'm on TriCare prime.. so it covers everything. I'm really lucky in that sense. I'm about to start Zoloft to treat the anxiety and depression at the same time. Have you tried it? I'm scared of medications just because the only ones I've tried gave me a weird reaction instead of actually helping...Gotta be brave though so I can get better.
  16. I'm scared to do this but here goes! I am 21, a Navy wife, and a psychology major. I have huge issues with anxiety (some social anxiety too), depression, and concentration. I'm a real quiet person most of the time, mainly because I'm stuck in my head. I think too much and say too little. I love taking pictures, reading, playing with my cute cat, meditation/yoga, and going on mini-adventures with my husband. Like to the beach or the park or the mall. Adjusting to this whole Navy wife thing is turning my world upside down. It brought back problems I thought I overcame times a billion and a half. :/ I really need other "crazy people" to relate to, because no one else understands. I'm really sweet and like to listen, so feel free to talk to me.
  17. kittykatnes

    Snapshots of my life

    The album name says it all. :)
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