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Everything posted by Chimako

  1. There is a specific Monster flavor that is stronger than even their normal. That one will make my very healthy 19 year old son complain of heart palpitations. So much so he's forbidden me to buy it -- although I cant remember the flavor...
  2. You may be able to get an appt with your OB/GYN and ask what their thoughts are. Years ago when I had my kids they certainly had enough opinions about everything else. Disclaimer: I have no experience. I was completely fucking nuts when I was pregnant. Completely. Both times. If you can find a way to stay on meds, it would be worth it in my opinion. I was a paranoid manic hypochondriac with delusions. "Let's buy a house!" "I know she hates me, look at her shoes!"
  3. I have "Mostly Harmless" on the back of my car and the only people who mention it think it's funny because they know me, not because they know it's from the Hitchhiker's Guide. I can't imagine anyone being offended at a "Don't Panic" hat unless they hate Douglas Adams or something. You might get a bunch of old hippies following you around wanting to talk about the Hitchhiker's Guide tho. "Are you a froopy dude with a towel?" crtclms, the Hitchhiker's Guide set of books isn't racist that I can think of but it's also not diverse (well, unless you count aliens). It's not profane but is in quite a lot of places blasphemous but it's the kind of blasphemy that makes you think of Monty Python. The whole set of books is basically set on a satirical premise that the universe is just like your local council / city government. Seriously, everyone should at least read the first book, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. ...sorry...one of my favs
  4. I work full time and commute 1 hr each way in big city traffic. I deal with work by letting my pdoc know when things are over whelming and I usually get a med tweak. If something unexpectedly stressful happens, sometimes I *don't* deal with it well but since meds I can come back from that emotional state very quickly and patch things up. My long stressful commute can bring on some of the others or just me seeing things that I'm not supposed to. My last med change seems to have gotten rid of that tho. I know other people use mindfulness to deal wtih stress. I haven't gotten that far yet.
  5. I had a horrible work record. I worked jobs anywhere from 1 day to 1 year but no longer than that before a meltdown and I would quit. Since being medicated, I haven't been that way at all. I have a hair trigger but my responses aren't inappropriate any more and I no longer feel obligated to quit due to mania, mostly because I haven't had any mania since I started medication. Anyway, I get the part about how having a job that causes out of control emotions sucks. If you don't have to work, dont. IMO. I had to work so regardless of my feels I had to find another job a million times. I had a skill set in manufacturing so usually could find something. There's only so many people who want to work until their fingers bleed.
  6. Is there something that triggered it? Pdoc the douchebag.
  7. stopped taking clonozepam, started drinking, started smoking.
  8. My pdoc who thinks I can't possibly be that sick because I can hold it together (with baling wire and spit) may soon get her wish. I'm rapidly reaching the point of no return, in which it becomes clear that No, no I can't hold it together. Because I'm tired of holding it together, just let it all fall apart. Somebody will pick up the pieces.
  9. She's from a web site by a photographer. I think it's called Old Ladies in Funny Hats but in another language. Swedish maybe? I just went and searched and coulnd't find it. ......found it! http://www.visualnews.com/2013/03/26/finnish-seniors-model-organic-materials-in-the-country/
  10. I think the crux of the matter is that my pdoc just doesn't believe what I'm saying when I describe symptoms. And she doesn't believe what the tdoc tells her about my symptoms. So who the hell will she believe?? it's ridiculous. As much as I despise it, I'm going to have to find another pdoc. One who can believe what I say and give meds appropriately. She knows her meds but she won't listen to any symptoms she doens't like. It's stupid.
  11. crazyfroglady: if you're in the MidAtlantic, it's possible. mellisaw: he can but he thinks I should stop taking meds all together. that sounds a little too much like an unholy alliance to me ceremonyneworder: I can see another pdoc. I really don't want to. The first one I saw was so senile he didn't know anything about paxil titration, practically patted me on the head then gave me a shit load of klonopin. for voices. now that I think about it, the first was a lot like the second. water: im not sure I'm ready for that. it was only a month or so ago that things were far out of my control. it sounds like you've got a great relationship with your pdoc. I'm no confident that my pdoc knows anything at all. When I tell her about the voices, she does nothing until tdoc makes her. Then she takes it away, tells me that as long as I can get along, the voices are no big deal. oh and here take some klonopin. I have no confidence. dilemma: I guess I need to find yet another pdoc. One who's not so against meds. or something.
  12. another humorous comment- pdoc said "klonopin is used to treat mania". Then i entertained her with the comment "last time I was manic, I was popping klonopin like candy" her response "here take these klonopin". Because she's convinced it's mania. okay. not gonna argue. just go take my klonopin like a good girl.
  13. What iaawal said. My insurance allows it.
  14. I went for my pdoc appt yesterday. First thing (since tdoc gave her hell last time) she told me that she thought my problems were serious and that she wanted to make sure I knew she was taking me seriously. Then, the meeting progressed. I told her about my problems with risperdal and she agreed I should stop taking it. Annnnnd, that's where it fell apart. Even tho I was telling her about the voices, she didn't exactly dismiss my comments but she certainly ignored the shit out of them. Her ending comments were that if I could "hide" (not what I told her, I told her that I deflect, it's different) the voices then I didn't need any meds to make them go away instead here go take this klonopin. dafuq. Am I really going to have to find another pdoc? Because the two I have experience with are not great, one is senile and this one is convinced that if I can put my pants on the right way round, I'm okay. Hell I'm crazy and I know I'm not okay. I thought about calling tdoc yesterday after it happened but you know she's just going to go ballistic. She's great but this relationship is stressful for me. Like, I'd love to call and cancel my appt but hubby, who's pretty sure hearing voices isn't okay, wants me to go. And thoughts about if this second time around problem with pdoc is a good reason to change?
  15. This is my first AAP. Pdoc tomorrow so we'll discuss. I do have blurry vision but I'm not sure if that's the sinus pressure or what. I'll let you guys know what's said.
  16. The constant sinusitis has cleared up mostly. The last two weeks I've had the inability to sit still. Not in a twitchy kind of way but in the way that I have to find something to do. That doesn't make it any more pleasant just not the usual I guess. Pdoc is Friday, I think I'll be going off this. I have had a big reduction in symptoms but they are slowly coming back. Not worth it.
  17. I went to the ER twice with panic attacks that scared the nurses they were so bad. Both times they thought I was having a heart attack -- at 17 and 18 yrs old. My BP was like a million over a billion.
  18. No voices since last Friday. Finally seem to be reaching a stasis point with the Risperidone.
  19. For me, tdoc was important to ask what their religious views were. It was super important to me as a resident of the Bible belt to not have to deal with religious bullshit. I personally know a therapist who regularly recommends prayer instead of some sort of more tested method of coping. I didn't worry as much about pdoc but I guess I should have been more careful because she is a shallow materialistic idiot who looks at what pants I'm wearing and completely ignores what I say.
  20. Wondering if that the meds keep me from obsessing about the voices and the eyeballs, they are still there and plotting against me. They are plotting, they have to be, why would they have showed up in my life at all otherwise? also, wondering why I can't type for shit anymore.
  21. It's very peaceful and relaxing to not have to hide everything from myself anymore. It makes me happy. Which is fucking bizarro world but whatevs. I have no idea where to put this so you can move if you want.
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