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About zackli

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  1. For a while, even a couple years after my stay in an inpatient unit, I wanted to go back. In fact, that drove me to try suicide again afterward just so I could go back in. It was 90 days total but not all of it was continuous. I was able to convince them I was ready to leave and right after that was about the time I decided I wanted to go back in. Living in such a structured environment was nice, especially when you have nothing particularly exciting to go back to.
  2. Find something worth living for (not another person, cause that's creepy). Life is what you make it... If you make it boring and depressing, that's what it will be. Sounds corny, and it is, but it's also lame. And true. When I get sad or disillusioned about how pointless life is, I usually just accept it's how I feel at the time and that I won't feel that way in the morning. It always works.
  3. I get that some people have "problems" with their brains, and the quotes are not to downplay their significance but merely to highlight that people are upset with the way their brains are working. This doesn't mean there is anything "wrong" with their brains, just that people don't like something about the way their brains are working. Medications don't "fix" a "problem" with the brain, they change the way the brain operates in a way that the person likes (in theory). I fear that the idea of someone's brain being "broken" may make them even worse than they were before. If this doesn't make any sense, feel free to stop reading, call me an insensitive jerk, tell me I'm wrong, say hi or you can just comment on it. You can also do any of those if you agree, but you have to do one of those.
  4. Mcjimjam - A night without sleep will get you to what 'nothing' feels like (if you ignore the tired feeling, which makes it more negative than neutral). @Drake - I'm not going to go so far as to say I don't have them, because I do get frustrated, bored, and angry sometimes but I'm curious about other perspectives. When you first wake up in the morning, how do you feel (other than, perhaps, tired)? What is your 'baseline' in the morning when you wake up? @starship - You're surprisingly accurate. I don't have any sense of morals, but what guides my behavior is "what will happen to me if I do this?" rather than taking the emotions of others into consideration. I don't commit crimes because I don't want to go to prison, for example. I do have a love of learning, though, which hasn't dampened my interest in science, reading, or music. I actually enjoy composing it using a program on my computer.
  5. I asked this question on chat earlier, and perhaps this is a bad section to ask this in, but if you could give up emotions, both positive and negative, would you? Why or why not?
  6. Hello, You're right. I did come here. I don't claim to need support to begin with. I came here because it seemed, initially anyway, that it was a cool forum (the titles drew me in). After having spent time here, however, it is clear that people here are no different than anywhere else, if a little bit more prone to talking about family/school/life issues. I don't find it ironic that someone who is unable or unwilling to relate to other peoples' issues would be quick to get hostile reactions... Indeed it would be expected on a place people go to get support for their problems.
  7. I don't either. The only time I usually react emotionally is when something that I don't like happens (it's a short list of things) and then I just get extremely angry, but don't show it. It's just a mental anger that goes away either in a couple hours or when I sleep. I don't know about any mental disorder, but I wouldn't say it's a bad thing.
  8. Quite to the contrary, the point of life diminishes greatly when you are simply waiting it out in order to go to your promised land. To answer your question, the point of living is to live. There is no "point" to life, it's not a valid question. If you need a point and can motivate yourself to those ends, that becomes your point, but it is superficial and only to satiate your overly-curious mind. Why does the charge in a battery drain when the two terminals are connected in a circuit? Blah blah blah, physics explanation, blah blah it doesn't have a purpose in doing so. To wrap up my brilliant post, I live because I have no reason to die.
  9. Oh... I guess that's what I get for not reading all of the replies before replying. Carry on.
  10. I'm not saying anything for or against Christianity, as it is not my place to say what kind of mythology someone can or can not subscribe to, but are you suggesting that people not follow a belief system because you don't understand it? What is a life "worth living" anyway?
  11. Nah, this still makes you a pathetic coward in this respect, anyway. This is blind selfishness at its finest. I don't know another thing about you other than this, so I'm not going to attack your entire personality, but this particular aspect is utterly rotten. Well, thank you for those kind words. I don't feel bad for any of it, and wouldn't feel bad about doing it more. I'm not going to do it here, however, and will remain as respectful as possible for the duration of my stay. I haven't been diagnosed with anything (because I don't want to deal with the implications of said diagnosis) but my googling ability tells me I have a lot of ASPD traits. Take that as you will. Just know that for the duration of my stay, I will be civil. Who knows, I may just write up a forum post on it. It's mostly something I do for fun. I don't do it as much anymore, because I've found other outlets for my time. I get bored quite easily, you see. I'm not against the OP being a dick to people on the internet, and if someone wanted to find me bad enough, I use my first and last name and actual city of residence on the site in which I spent my time trolling. Most people don't have the utter lack of regard for consequences/funds to take a trip to another state or even country just to show some a-hole on the internet why it isn't okay to be an a-hole on the internet.
  12. Thank you all for the welcoming welcome! Rest assured, I have definitely or will at some point read the user agreement. Sorry, Emperor, among other things my extrememely restrictive belief system restricts my use of long cables and tin cans to while I'm working.
  13. I've been addicted to caffeine for about five years. "Can you ever be 100% addiction free?" That raises the question of what an addiction is, because technically food or water could be considered an addiction. Since food and water are both required for life, it follows that life is an addiction. I'll stop there, because it's heading into murky territory.
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