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straightjacket

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About straightjacket

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    England

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  1. I have very positive voices. I believe I had a guardian angel guiding me through life which I know as the Buddha. He has told me that I am the chosen one and that I must bath in the river Ganges to cleanse my soul then sacrifice myself so I spread peace around the world . When I heard him he was divine and very spiritual. It filled me with euphoria. Even though I am on depot medication and deemed stable I still think about when I heard him.
  2. I requested them because they are sending secret information between themselves. About 5 years ago my mental health team didn't tell me for over a year I had a disnogisis of bipolar and I only found out by chance. Things have been implanted since I wrote that. They have increased my depot. I don't want to go into details because they are spying on me and using everything I write here against me.
  3. i'm already on Invega depot. I'm unsure if it was working or not. I was drinking heavily at the time. They put me on it for mixed affective state (I have SZA) It must of worked because I got discharged from and stopped taking it and thing were okay.
  4. My moods are changing from happy/giddy to feeling really angry and irritable then feeling content and I've been daydreaming about ending it. I'm going from being horrible to my support workers then feeling they are perfect. I am writing abusive and angry emails to my supported living manager and social services then feeling like I shouldn't of done that and feeling guilty then happy. It's weird. I'm getting my prescription for Depakote tomorrow. I'm still written up for it but haven't been collecting it from the pharmacy. Last time I took it was 18 months ago, can't remember it doing much at the time but I'm going to take it again mainly because I don't like feeling depressed. Things have happened, two of my best friends are ill and we've had a new person move into my supported living house. Do you have any advice on Depakote? Do you think I should request a blood test to test my liver enzymes and once thats comes back start taking it or should I start straight aways tomorrow? Last time last year I had high liver enzymes but I stopped drinking alcohol on 31st of December 2016 so I hope they've come down a bit. What do you think?
  5. A good sleep routine helps me, the less sleep I get the more psychotic and obsessive I become. I have been know to stay awake 3 days obsessively googling stuff I've become fixated on. Sometimes I have to force myself to go to bed.
  6. So I am diagnosed Schizoaffective, Bipolar type, In my hospital report they wrote ''Presentation continued to fluctuate on the unit and he exhibited mixed affective state'' I would like to know how does exhibition mixed affective state? I was totally oblivious to it so reading that in my report was new. Do you think its likely that my clinical team could of made a mistake? Is it possible to be misdiagnosed with SZA even if I've been Dx with it for 4 years and seen many psychiatrists?
  7. I have a diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder, before that it was Bipolar with psychotic features, what really swing the change was that I still remained psychotic when my mood stabilised. I'm on Invega Sustenna 50 mg monthly injection.
  8. I still think my doctor has secret folders on me which they won't let me look at. I have requested all my notes but I feel like they are withholding them and sending me fake ones. I need to rationalise this because I don't think I'm paranoid, I'm on meds, but people are telling me I am. Can you still be delusional while taking antipsychotics?
  9. I am currently proscribed Invega Sustenna 50mg monthly depot and before that Ability. I have never had a Prolactin test. I think my libido has massively decreased. Is it normal for them not to test you because I've never been tested?
  10. I am currently proscribed Invega Sustenna 50mg monthly depot and before that Ability. I have never had a Prolactin test. I think my libido has massively decreased. Is it normal for them not to test you because I've never been tested?
  11. I have been doing very well since they changed my medication from Ability to Invega Sustenna. But I feel like I'm on the verge of psychosis again. I have been having suspicions about my supported living manager trying to make my life hell and spying on me. I arranged a meeting with my social worker and the manager as I was convinced I was going to elicit a confession out of her. The meeting come and basically they both said they think I'm becoming unwell again. I then thought she mentioned my illness to belittle my worries blaming my SZA disorder because that aids her goals of making my life hell. It was only later that I released that I have blown things out of proportion again. It an hard balancing act maintaining suability because it's easy to become more drawn into paranoid thoughts that start quite innocently but become more profound and psychotic. Do you live on the edge of psychosis?
  12. When I was hospitalised I found it difficult to approach the subject that I was hearing voices with my pdoc. I was in hospital because of strong delusions and I had harmed myself because of the delusions. I didn't feel comfortable talking about the voices. How did you approach the subject with you doctor? Did you flat out tell them or did they notice subtle cues?
  13. I become obsessed with researching Schizophrenia staying awake for days reading constantly about all the symptoms and behaviours somebody Schizophrenia would have and I completely obsess about it. I have been on Invega 75mg injections for 10 months now since my last hospitalization. My obsessive thoughts have calmed down and I don't research Schizophrenia anymore. Do you think my obsession was a sign of Mania or a sign of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Do you think if it was OCD it would still be prevalent even on the antipsychotics? I'm diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder, Bipolar type. Do you think for that DX I would need to be symptomatic with more classic BP/SZA symptoms as well as the Obsessive thoughts?
  14. Do you think I should tell my pdoc I fantasise about becoming manic? I had such a ball last time that I think I've become addicted to feeling extreme mania (If you can?)
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