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  1. Coraline, thank you for your reply and your very kind words. I know that every little bit you are saying is true, but... it's not easy, leaving. Even though I know I'd be better off by myself.
  2. Thank you for the reply. No, he is not in any kind of therapy, we have been in a "couple therapy" (I don't know if that's the correct term) for 4 times now (and we have another 6 times left). But I don't know if that therapy helps any, it's a very short time and so far the discussions have jumped from topic to topic... He has said that he'll quit drinking, but he has said that before too, so I'm not too optimistic about that. Leaving is difficult, since we have a sort of a fixed-length rental agreement (the fixed portion of the agreement ends in October), and our financial situation is close to chaotic To be honest, I have no idea what to do.
  3. It's been a long while since my last visit here, and even longer since last writing anything. I don't know where to write this, or even what to write, but there really is no one else to talk to. So... long story short, I attempted suicide about 6 months ago (not my first try), and obviously, failed at that, again. I have been in a relationship more or less 5 years now, and I guess I can summarize that into "it's complicated". Things have been going from bad to worse since the suicide attempt. To a point that few weeks ago, my (I don't know what to call him, "partner"?) was violent towards me (not really the first time this kind of thing has happened, but certainly the worst). He so angry all the time (at me, I guess.. and certainly some of it is completely justified), it feels like he is expecting me to be "grateful" for him saving my life, and when I can't, it makes things even worse. It doesn't really make things any easier, that we both have some pretty serious issues. Me with depression, and trauma-related dissociative "disorder" (?), or at least a tendency to dissociate in difficult situations. And he with alcohol abuse, and some traumas of his own. Anyway, right now we are still living in the same house (he is occupying most of the space, and I am kind of living in my workroom) but we don't really have a "together-life". I don't have a lot of friends in general, and the few I have are living relatively far from where I live. My mother lives not-too-far-away, but we aren't very close, and I can't imagine talking to her about this.
  4. No spouse, family is living in another city (we're not too close anyway) and I don't have close friends who would know anything that's going on. I have few colleagues, but I don't really talk with them about anything personal.
  5. Nope, no changes. And yes, I have some season related mood issues, but usually it means getting depressed and isolated during late autumn. And it doesn't get much better until around March/April.
  6. Melissa, that would be an ideal solution, yes. But currently I am "signed out" from my mental care -"team" (since I don't need any acute treatment anymore), and I don't have access to my old pdoc (who was the one originally prescribing wellbutrin). The only option for me would be to see the general doctor in my area, who renews my prescription (but who I have never seen :/ ) Being that it's insanely difficult for me to take care of any issues requiring communication with, well, anyone... Trying to explain my concerns to a total stranger who is not even a mental health professional is "difficult", to say the least. :/ Yes... I know. I just can't afford to see a private pdoc. Thank you, I hope so too...
  7. I'm not really sure to which forum I should post this, is it here or maybe to the antidepressant-forum, or perhaps somewhere else.. But, here goes. So, I've been on bupropion for the past year and a half, or maybe two (or longer? I have no idea). Eh. Never mind the time, maybe the most important thing is that I've been on it for quite some time already, so we're not talking about a new drug. Anyway. It has been working great, I've been able to start new hobbies, lose some weight (*yay!*), gotten bit of my confidence back and so on. But... for the past month or two, I've started to worry that maybe it has triggered some level of hypomania..? I don't know how likely that is.. Based on wikipedia (the ultimate source of all information ) some of the traits in hypomania are: Out of which I can recognize: elevated mood (not necessarily a bad thing ), decreased need for sleep (I tend to sleep roughly 4-5 hours/night), racing thoughts, easy distractibility (I mean _really_ easy), some psychomotor agitation, and the one that I'm the most concerned about.. somewhat reckless (and risky) sexual behaviour. So... my question(s): Has anyone else encountered this kind of things with this particular drug? Does it sound like hypomania? (or am I just getting "better"?) If it is a med-caused thing or a "side-effect", should I expect it to get worse? Is there anything I can do to manage with it, mostly with the sex-things? Are there any "home-remedies" to try to tone it down? (I really wouldn't want to give up bupropion.. and I'm not so eager to add something new to the mix either ) Oh, and currently I don't really have a general doctor who would be aware of my history/situation, and with whom I could talk about this
  8. awww <3 Nope honey, nope. I don't know any better way LOL I don't have a cat, but for some reason I was thinking this morning how people get their pets, cats in particular, used to the vacuum cleaner. Oh. And I thought it was about a baby But yes.. I guess vacuum cleaner does make a bit more sense
  9. So which number is that? I'd definitely go with that of all the available choices
  10. The kitten printer.. awwww <3 Kind of similar to this one (an oldie, but still goodie )
  11. I can relate to the loneliness-part Right now, my only social contacts are my colleagues at work, but our company is starting big renovation in just few days and while that is going on me (and the rest of our team) are each working remotely from home. That will be for next three months. I'm scared too.
  12. I'd definitely go with looking for someone else. To me, 8 months seems a very short time to get to know and build trust with someone. But as fya13 said, it depends a lot on whether you're looking for brief therapy or something long term.
  13. That's interesting. I couldn't do that because I don't know what I'd be without MI. So I just try to go with how I feel 'now', and not even try to separate what's me and what's MI... I have gotten so frustrated and confused so many times when doing these depression-tests and scales and such, and I've told the nurse or doctor my difficulties in answering some of the questions and their answer has been "well answer based on the time when you didn't have depression"... They just don't get that I don't remember such time
  14. Thank you WinterRosie. Yes, I've been in therapy, am in therapy and will be in therapy for quite some time still... I guess it has helped, somehow at least. I just can't seem to put my feelings into words, especially when it comes to this. Pretty much all I can say is "I miss him", and that's a kind of an understatement..
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