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Everything posted by Sync

  1. not doing good with the lockdown. MI situation approaching dire

    1. saintalto


      Can you reach out to anyone to video chat? That helps me heaps. 

    2. Sync


      It's not social isolation, really, it's like the psychological effects of the lost freedom/autonomy from the lockdown. I can't think of any way to counter that, unfortunately :(

  2. Sure, go for it. I'm pretty comfortable talking about such things.
  3. I was doing better for a couple days cuz I was doing a lot of meditating, but I'm starting to get wound up again. Nobody knows when this is going to end and it's like I can't make any plans further than a week out. If lockdown lasts until September, I should buy a treadmill so I don't have to keep running outside. If it lasts until next month, that would be a complete friggin waste. But nobody knows, or at least nobody's telling, how long all of the gyms will be closed. I cope with stressful situations by drowning myself in information about them. I spent weeks to months reading everything I could get my hands on about OCD and treatment options when I was first diagnosed and medicated. It makes me feel better. I know I can make good choices if I have all the information. Nobody has information about this. There's nothing to read up on. I can be 100% informed and find out two days later that what people were saying was wholesale wrong. How long does immunity last? When can we go outside again? Is six feet enough? Nobody friggin knows. And people who think they know might very well come back next week and say they didn't actually know after all. It is profoundly upsetting to me. I should go meditate some more probably. Practice some radical acceptance or some shit.
  4. FWIW I'm also usually really sensitive to medication and I had a strong response on 100mg IR. I abruptly fell asleep like eight hours after taking it though, lol. I believe they also make 100mg SR (which I haven't personally tried), that might mitigate that problem if you find the 150XL ends up being too much for you and you want to try and go down in dose. Just something to keep in mind for the future if you're looking at trying lower doses again. Also FWIW, if sexual side effects were your main problem with SSRIs, I used to get sexual side effects on sertraline by itself, and they have completely gone away since adding wellbutrin. If you haven't tried the SSRI + wellbutrin together, it might be something worth discussing with your doctor if what you're currently trying doesn't work out for you. I got nothing for bruxism though. I just wear a mouth guard at night and it lasts about half as long as it's supposed to because I chew right through the thing.
  5. aarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh I hate it. I hate it so much. I've been doing really well lately MI-wise for the first time in my life and being alone and doing nothing all day is so reminiscent of the worst of my depression. I'm fortunate enough to work in an essential industry so I'm still going to work and at least seeing other human beings once in a while. And I'm still running, I've just been forced outside (where I'm really stressed out the whole time dodging morons who CANNOT CONCEIVE OF KEEPING SIX FEET AWAY). Everything's closed, all the things I've been working on to improve my life have to be put on hold. Everyone's stressed and mean and I'm stressed, and my temper has gotten away from me a few times lately. For some reason this makes me really want a cat. Why? Science doesn't know.
  6. Intense calorie restriction will absolutely fuck with your brain, same as any other prolonged physiological stress. The mind-body system is way more connected than a lot of people realize. I second the recommendations to slow down a bit, as difficult as that can be (I'm a 0-or-100 type of person, myself). I've got pretty severe OCD and I've lost a good amount of weight myself. The trick is to eat sustainably - it has to be something you can see yourself keeping up for the rest of your life, because you're probably going to have to. And eating a little bit less than your TDEE is the way to go, on that. I highly recommend some amount of listening to your body, too. Not entirely, because if you eat every time you're hungry you won't lose anything, but if you've hit your calorie limit for the day and you find yourself cold and shaking, it's better to grab a small snack than to just suffer through it, ime. Are you doing cheat days at all? A reasonably regular cheat day is good for both psychological and physiological reasons. In this case, it's giving your body the occasional much-needed break from caloric restriction.
  7. I love my weighted blanket. I can't sleep under it, though. It doesn't breathe well enough. But it's great for cozying up during the day, or when I'm reading or something. Wrapping it around my chest/shoulders is the best imo.
  8. I never noticed any real differences in mood effects between IR and XL, personally. On IR I got extra jittery in the middle of the day and then crashed HARD energywise around 7 or 8 pm. On XL it's a much smoother all-the-time energy and less jitters. The fundamental mood effects are the same for me tho.
  9. It's been amazing for my depression, at least in concert with sertraline. I've never taken it by itself. Pros: - Able to feel joy - Not in constant psychological agony - Have energy and motivation - Anxiety is (paradoxically) better - Sexual side effects and emotional blunting from the sertraline are gone - Sleeping better - Exercise, hygiene, all aspects of general functioning improved Cons: - Sweat a lot, constantly, at the drop of a hat - Can't drink alcohol - Some OCD symptoms worse, but others better - Some hypervigilance symptoms worse
  10. Oh man, the gap between what's technically illegal and what you can actually do anything about is wiiiiiiiiiiide. If you're sick enough to get into trouble with work, navigating the EEOC, lawyers, and lawsuits is going to be an extreme ask. I've been fired before in ways that are technically illegal, but when the system leaves it up to you to enforce the law it's, frankly, a really bad thing to rely on. I never, ever, ever disclose to work or anyone I work with even though some of my coworkers are pretty decent friends at this point. I'm lucky to be high-functioning enough to be able to hide it. I just come off as really odd, most of the time. Any therapy I need is a "doctors appointment," any time I need off for MI is a "migraine." Luckily (again) my job is really flexible with attendance and never requires doctor's notes or anything like that. My coworkers know I have some chronic illness of some sort that I take medication for, but they're respectful enough not to ask about it. Really, I've just had a lot of luck with vaguely referencing "medical problems" and then refusing to elaborate if anyone asks about it. Most people I've dealt with are, thankfully, socially aware enough not to ask about it.
  11. They're slightly crooked in the back such that my upper tooth is at an angle where every time I bite down the edge stabs the center of my lower molar like it's Caesar. That bit hits way before the rest of my teeth do, so it makes my tooth and jaw hurt like crazy. The jaw thing also causes a lot of neck tension, headaches, and weird stuff like that. My teeth in general also don't seem to fit together really well. I think it's all cause my wisdom teeth were a hot mess (impacted, growing at bizarre angles, etc) and I was supposed to get them out about ten years before I did. Invisalign isn't covered under my dental insurance, IIRC, so I'm sure that'll be a really fun bill to get if it's the only way to fix it.
  12. My appointment was yesterday and my mouth is all messed up. RIP. But they did (temporarily) fix my messed up bite and the sudden pain relief is absolutely amazing. Unfortunately looks like I may need to get like invisalign or something to fix it permanently, although it would be absolutely worth it to not be in constant pain anymore. Also, right? I have like the opposite of dental anxiety usually. I find dental cleanings and stuff soothing. But now the fear of them finding a cavity or something gets to me.
  13. Mine always gets worse when I'm freaking out. If you're trying not to change meds, I find certain mindfulness exercises helpful. My favorite for when my obsessions start kicking off is to visualize a traincar going by and imagine putting the thoughts on it and watching them pass. I don't know if you've had any ERP or DBT, but if not I'd look into it. I've found both very helpful for accepting the distress of obsessive thoughts. It's hard as hell to do but it takes the wind right out of their sails.
  14. I finally made an appointment with the dentist that I've been putting off for like a year and a half. Fingers crossed they'll fix my messed up bite.
  15. Gawd it sucks. It takes so much effort to try and find someone you're even open to dating and get past your anxiety or whatever and then its like WOW LOOK AT ME I DID THE HARD THING and then nine times out of ten it's not even a match anyway and you have to hoist your rejected ass up and do the whole thing all over again. Fuck dating tbh
  16. Psychomotor retardation has always been a huge problem for me with my depression. It's so, so physical, like my entire body is so heavy I could fall right through the ground and keep going forever. It's extremely hard to just move. It sounds very plausible that it could be the med change. For one, effexor is an SNRI, and norepinephrine is very activating. And for two, I believe it should take 4-6 weeks for prozac (assuming it's a brand new med) to really show effects. Have you mentioned this problem to your pdoc or asked for their thoughts? Exercise is one of those catch-22 things where it would probably help but maintaining an exercise regime when lifting an arm feels like moving mountains is an extreme ask of anyone.
  17. I absolutely swear by the weekly pill box. I fill it for the week on autopilot now, but when I was just trying to get into the habit I found setting an alarm on my phone to remind me to fill it on Saturday night (or Sunday, however your box works) was really helpful. Makes it hard to forget and just designates a few minutes directly to getting it done.
  18. I've been away and only just saw the news of jt's passing. He and I only spoke directly a handful of times, but he was an amazing presence around the boards and I always found his messages informative, helpful, and encouraging. I'm very sad to hear he has passed on. May he rest in peace.
  19. What a ratfuck garbage day.

  20. I was gonna say mine didn't go away but come to think of it I haven't been very twitchy lately.
  21. Honestly that sounds like a good plan if you can. He really does sound completely useless. Maybe a different SSRI + bupropion would be the ticket, if sertraline is still messing you up. What dose are you on now, 50mg?
  22. Swellbutrin was the most dramatic improvement, esp with anhedonia. It's really the wellbutrin+zoloft combo that's the magic maker though
  23. I feel you. I always get frustrated with how long it takes to kick in. Like I wanna feel better now!
  24. I'd definitely give it more time before making any big changes or worrying too much about having to go super high. Sertraline can take 4-6 weeks for the main effect to take hold and bupropion 2-3 weeks. Since you've just restarted it's entirely possible you're just having weird startup effects that will go away, or they might get better on 50mg. I know I'm always a mess and a half during med changes.
  25. You came in, and said something extremely rude about someone's family member, and then had a tantrum when people took offense to the objectively offensive thing you said. People telling you you're being rude and you're wrong is not "bullying." If you're going to be a jerk to people on the internet, don't paint yourself as a victim when people take exception to your bad behavior. The backlash you've received in this thread is a direct, natural consequence of your own actions. Stop, reflect, and take responsibility for yourself. It's not anyone else's job to coddle you because being told you've done something wrong hurts your feelings. Even if what you said were true, it's not a helpful observation. CrazyRedhead did not ask for opinions on her niece's character. Calling the niece names won't help anyone lose weight, and certainly doesn't give OP any advice on how to deal with the situation with her sister.
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