Thanks for your reply. I'm glad you saw some effect from the risperidone, I'm thinking it may work for me at 1mg or slightly higher taken only at night time. Yes there are reasons, for one thing Seroquel alone has previously worked for me. For another, the potential side effects of the only one I'd be willing to try (Lamictal) are a bit scary, so that would be an absolute last resort. I can't have any stabilizer that works with GABA as I have a paradoxical reaction somewhat like kindling due to past over-use of GABAergics. I can't do lithium as I already tried Lithium Orotate which is able to cross the blood brain barrier much more effectively, but the repercussions from trying that were severe, destroying all my good progress and regressing me 6 months, due I believe to its serotonin release enhancing abilities.
I've just started Valdoxan (Agomelatine) which doesn't increase serotonin so I have high hopes for that.
Unfortunately I'm very caught up in chemistry due to all the drug use and damage in my past, so I need to be roughly aware of what will be bad and what will be good for me.
It sounds like this might be a better suited question for the meds forum, my apologies.
I am seeing a therapist yes.
Its a very long story so I will try and explain with an outline.
My past drug use lead to a very fragile brain, after an accidental OD on a dopamine reuptake inhibitor 2 years ago, I escaped the long lasting repercussions of that by going on Moclobemide a reversible MAOI. But it wasn't quite enough so I was still cautiously supplementing with tryptophan and using tranquilizers. I know, thats bad but I thought I was keeping it under control.
One day I had a psychedelic with a friend (which I had previously been cautious with, never felt any potentiation on my MAOI), but at some point it turned into a bad trip for my friend, which freaked me out so I had a benzo which I found out later has very weak SSRI activity. I quickly began to feel weak, I panicked and my vision distorted wildly, I collapsed on a sofa losing consciousness for 4 min. After that my heart raced at over 100 resting for over 24h. After this I knew I had to come off the MAOI. But the withdrawal was extreme, I found myself out of my mind supplementing with too much tryptophan (I didn't realise it had been a scrape with SS). I had another incident at work where I was so weak I had to lie on the floor, I had paresthesia all over and was sure I was going to die. I was taken to hospital and shorty recovered.
Following that was the beginning of my BP-II saga. Wild month long hypomania followed by lifeless depression. I eventually sought help and went on seroquel, which smoothed my swings successfully, but was less kind being a loose dopamine binder, I eventually developed recurrent panic attacks and palpitations. I couldn't taper it one bit without serious panic and palpitations - I tried several times. But then one day I just took none, and had zero withdrawal. Then I just hung in there for a few months and nearly recovered before I stupidly tried the lithium orotate supplement to try and help all the stress and still minor mood swings. It caused super anxiety that I had to sedate myself 24/7 on antihistamines for a few days. That was back in July and I'm still on a rollercoaster following that. It was super terrifying for a few months and now its beginning to feel more manageable.
I tried to make it brief