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l'appel du vide

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  1. This is also why I love it. Ambien and other z-drugs do not work for me because of what I suspect to be a cross-tolerance with my daily Klonopin. Trazodone makes me feel drugged up, and doesn't work sometimes and if it does I have a hangover. Belsomra has still been amazing, some nights I don't even need it! Why do all the medications that work so well have to be name brand 😕 Sigh.
  2. I really think you should try it. Ask your pdoc for some samples, I switched over after being fed up with the trazodone hangover and general drugged feeling while going to bed. It has been a blessing, especially since z-drugs do NOT work for me.
  3. I just wanted to recommend Belsomra 20mg to anyone suffering from insomnia. Been taking it for a week, hasn't lost its effectiveness, and it has the most natural falling asleep feel. My co-pay with the manufacturer's coupon is $30.01, I highly recommend trying it. There's so many bad reviews for it but it might just really work for you!
  4. I've accepted it, but it is still misery. I'm a lot better than I used to be, though. Most days are happy
  5. Guys that sounds perfect for me. I have no trouble staying asleep, the problem is just getting there. I think I might ask my psych for Sonata instead of Lunesta next time I see him. He prescribed me Ambien again and this time it made me sleep walk and sleep text. Kinda cool... But also not cool. LMFAO.
  6. I am extremely curious about Sonata (Zaleplon). It has an extremely short half life, which I like, and the maximum dose is 20mg. I usually need 20mg of Ambien for it to work but my psych will not prescribe that, but with Sonata there is a chance that 20mg could work for me. I rarely hear this medication discussed...any experiences at all?
  7. I feel like this all the time. Thankfully, I have neurotypical friends who when I ask if this or that is normal, they reassure me that none of it is normal....at all. It's easy to feel like a fraud, but we have serious illnesses.
  8. 12 - 16: Starving myself and cutting. 15 I started to smoke cigarettes. Haven't stopped or just switched to Juuls. 18 I got addicted to oxycodone. 19 I got addicted to heroin and methamphetamine. Still battling those demons.
  9. Is it possible to develop akathisia on Rexulti or any other antipsychotic after 8 months of use? I literally have had NO side effects from Rexulti before 2 weeks ago. I am really scared that I will have to stop Rexulti since it has been a GOD SEND. Tomorrow is my first day of my new job and I cannot be feeling so....restless!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't contact my doctor. Is there anything I can do in the mean time? Could this restlessness just be anxiety?
  10. I am seeing my psych today and I'm thinking about asking for Lunesta. My trazodone has been causing gnarly hangovers and ambien barely works for me. I know lunesta is a z-drug, but it could work compared to ambien, right? I also heard you can take it long term. Let me know any experiences, thank you!
  11. Hi guys! So I overdosed a week ago on methamphetamine, GHB, lorazepam, Viagra, and Cialis. Lol. You can imagine what I was up to. But yeah, it was really terrifying so I've been sober a week. Is it normal to have massive mood swings when getting sober? Today I feel like I'm high on life because I'm so tired of being depressed. I wish drugs weren't so fun. I've also been applying to jobs and had a job interview recently (didn't get the job). I just feel all over the place, and getting sober is incredibly hard and I'm so embarrassed that I overdosed.
  12. I think switching to Klonopin would help you so much. I wouldn't want to be on Xanax daily with that short of a half-life, it's kinda scary to me. I purposely try to take medications that have long, long half-lives. I'm prescribed Klonopin 0.5mg twice a day, but I usually only take 0.25mg twice a day. I feel fine on it, not sleepy at all. My anxiety and panic attacks (not sure if you get those) have been 100% controlled for 6 years, the whole time I've been on Klonopin daily. My daily Klonopin dosage has ranged from 0.5mg-3mg a day throughout the years, but it has never lost its efficacy. I really don't think you will have an issue with addiction, and it sounds like you could really use the anxiety relief. I'm an addict and I even use my Klonopin responsibly, I don't really think benzos are that abusable. They don't do anything for me. Most people I know that abuse benzos do it to enhance other drugs or to come off drugs, and you have neither of those problems. I think you should try Klonopin 0.5mg twice a day, and then eventually when your anxiety improves you can try Klonopin 0.25mg twice a day. I wish you the best of luck, and I know you will get through this. You deserve relief, so do it for you.
  13. In March I relapsed on heroin, and was using daily until May 28th. I had been about 10 days sober until I was craving it so bad, but I couldn't use because I finally got back on naltrexone. I was having a nervous breakdown because the cravings were so intense. So what did I do? I went out and smoked methamphetamine, and took GHB. I went on a hardcore, all day 24 hour binge. I feel really guilty and scared. My psychiatrist doesn't know I'm an addict, only my old GP who I can no longer see. I'm scared to try to talk to him about it, I feel like it's not needed. I know he will judge me, because all the times doctors, nurses, whatever find out I'm an addict they treat me differently. I feel like I'm living a complete lie. Only my two close friends know what's been going on with me. I am just so scared of my fucking self and my stupid, impulsive actions. All I want to do is escape this world and live in bliss. But I can't. And that breaks my heart, as bad as that sounds. I never thought in a million years I would grow up to be addicted to black tar heroin and crystal meth. I mostly just wanted to rant, because I feel really lonely and scared. I also still feel strange from the meth, I was awake for 72 hours and it's kinda messed with me. I normally don't feel myself until a week has passed. Bottom line is, I'm an idiot. A hedonistic pig. A liar. A user. I was sober for so long....what went wrong? I guess that's all. I need support. I don't want to be like this; I don't want to die.
  14. Nope, I never have! Do you like amusement parks?
  15. No and Yes. No because I have a good psych and my parents support me and I live a pretty good life, but my mental health is still shit. Yes because if I did have an irrational amount of money, I would probably spend it all on drugs, atleast in the moment I would. So I wouldn't be genuinely "well". Money cannot buy mental health.
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