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About saintalto

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    The Black Rabbit of Inlé

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  • Interests
    painting, medical history

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  1. Site ad is trying to sell me a shirt that says “Too old to fight, too slow to run, I’ll just shoot you instead.” Yikes.

    1. jarn


      Nice sentiment

    2. Wonderful.Cheese


      Holy bananas! That’s awful! 

  2. Having a PD doesn’t make you bad. How you treat other people, despite having a PD, determines it in my opinion. As far as diagnoses go, it’s not the end of the world. You are not destined to be an asshole and therapy can help. My husband is a psychopath (diagnosed), but he is good to me and to others as a general rule. He does not let his lack of empathy or guilt, nor his propensity for manipulation and charm to be used for harm (mostly, he’s not perfect). It may mean he has to fake things a lot, but at least he puts up the front for others comfort. Just because he’s a psychopath doesn’t mean he must act like a bad person. I believe psychopathy is about as negative a diagnosis as narcissism in a lot of people’s eyes.
  3. Hello. Have you talked to your parents or if you don’t feel comfortable with that, is there a counselor at your school you can talk to instead? Could you talk to your teacher? This board is aimed at adults, so I do not think this is the right place to come to for help. I would try instead talking to your teachers, a school counselor, or your parents about this.
  4. 1. Send package and finish 2. drawings 3. jogging 4. check for virus paintings (ups store price) 5. DMV manual 6. send work to Deb 7. pick up medicine at new seasons and b vitamins for husband tomorrow: 1. clean house 2. jogging (15 mi) 3. Meet friend at 4 Saturday 1. grocery shopping 2.. painting 3. DMV study
  5. I’m really sorry you are struggling with that. Suicide is brutal on the living.
  6. She said to me that the person thought in writing. She saw it in her head. What does a spacial deficit mean?
  7. How do you process your thoughts? Do you have an inner dialogue going or do you think in pictures? A friend of mine said she knew a person who thought in writing. Maybe you think that way. I’m curious if you’re willing to share? I recently discovered, when discussing it with my husband, that most people think with a verbal dialogue of what they’re doing or intend to do. He thinks verbally like that. I have no inner voice nor have I ever had one. I think in pictures and approach problems in a visual manner. My husband participated in a large poll about mode of thinking and I found out most people have inner dialogue and think verbally. It never struck me that people could think that way because I have never experienced it. Evidently, if the poll is right, most people think that way.
  8. I don’t get this but I thought I’d say that I find zoom impossible to focus on.
  9. When I was in the hospital there were plenty of people who came in for just a single night. I was surprised because I didn't feel ill but they kept me for over 2 weeks by threatening to make me pay in full because insurance wouldn't cover me if I left before they decided to discharge me (I entered voluntarily under the thought I could leave when I felt better). This was a long time ago so I don't know if they can do that anymore. People who had actively tried to commit suicide came in and stayed for such a short time. I considered their issues to be more life threatening than mine was. I was allowed to bring in books and a sketchbook (I was forced to use crayons though).
  10. My site ads think I’m a middle aged, male war veteran.  

    1. saintalto


      And body armour. I evidently need body armour. 

  11. One psychiatrist and a few meds cannot be the gage for which you rate your experience with all meds and all doctors. I have seen 8 psychiatrists over the past 18 years (I’ve moved a lot). Some were good, some were not so good. It takes awhile to find a good fit. As for finding meds that work, that’s a lot of trial and error and it takes a lot of patience too. Very few people settle permanently on the first few meds they have taken.
  12. Risperdal was weight neutral for me, seroquel made me gain 50 something pounds.
  13. I did not gain on Zyprexa (I lost a little even) but it was a real battle not to. I had to eat really small portions of filling food throughout the day to fight the hunger. Usually I stuck with a few nuts or a small piece of cheese or a high protein yogurt. I needed to eat just enough to counteract that urge to eat and make it go away for a little while. I also went running regularly. Food was always on my mind though. It was a battle of willpower every night to eat a normal portion of dinner and not help myself to seconds. I guess in short, it’s not easy, but it’s possible.
  14. I half succeeded in reducing my current meds recently. I went all the way down to 80mg of Latuda and 150mg of Wellbutrin but symptoms started coming back and insomnia reared its head so I had to go up again. Not as high as the doses I was on before though (160mg Latuda and 450mg Wellbutrin). I used to be on a lot more drugs than I am on now. I used to be on lithium on top of everything else I took and was on two antipsychotics. Coming to my new psychiatrist she has always encouraged simplifying my med combo. For the most part this has benefited me greatly. I’ve had a big decrease in side effects from the drugs and I have a clearer picture of what’s doing what.
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