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  1. Hi folks Just dropped by real quick to see if anyone replied. THANK YOU! You have no idea how much it means to have some contact with people who understand. Pushed for time this morning, but will be back on later. Take care
  2. I just need to vent... My day started off okay, I managed to get to work on time! Yay! But I get so pissed off with being judged every single day. No, I don't have children, it was a choice I made because of how bad my mood swings were when I was younger. College has always been hard. I managed on the 3rd attempt to get an Associates degree. I totally blew an interview last Tuesday for a job I really wanted. There was an interview panel of 5 (which I could deal with, kind of) but then they interviewed the 5 of us at the same fucking time! I have never heard of this before and I was totally freaked out. Needless to say, I was like fucking Rain Man - my stutter decided to make an appearance and I just felt like a fucking moron. I hate feeling like this... I work so hard to try and accept who I am and deal with my stuff. I have major depression with ADD and I'm on Autism Spectrum. I didn't speak for the first five years of my life; not even to my family. I have the hardest time striking up conversation, and small talk, well, you may as well be speaking Cantonese as far as I'm concerned. Once I get passed the obligatory "How was your evening/weekend" etc., I'm lost. I'm not stupid, or retarded (my last boss called me a "tard" in front of the office.) I go into a panic when I have to deal with a whole bunch of people. I just wish I didn't feel like this. Sorry if language offends...
  3. Hi I'm new also. I came across crazyboards purely by accident; but glad I did! I feel really alienated right now; didn't get a job I was hoping for and nearly losing the one I have. Good for you for maintaining a career and having a family.
  4. I hate that you're expected to smile, even when you feel like dog crap. Unfortunately, I've never been able to overcome the "Fuck you!" chip that has forever sat on my right shoulder. I call her Polly. I do seek solace in animals. Rescuing my Newfie/Lab mix, Max is the best thing I ever did. My husband suffers with depression also, and I was diagnosed with Depression/ADD later in my adult life. My step-daughter also has ADHD, so our house can be quite comical at times. I'm sorry that your painful memories are still with you. It took me a long time to accept mine. Do you see a counselor? I found one who has experience of childhood trauma, which helped me a lot. Not sure about your dosage, but maybe a chat with your doc would help? Dx: Chronic Depression w/ADD Meds: 40mg fluoxetine/ 27mg Concerta
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