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Fubar

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About Fubar

  • Rank
    Fubar

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  • Gender
    Woman
  • Location
    North Carolina

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709 profile views
  1. Yesterday, I bought over $400 in MAC makeup & about $600 on a Coach purse & wallet...had to have the wallet - everything must match. Of course, I didn't have the money to spend on it
  2. The Manic Side of Me! Things I say or do! Sleep: who needs it! Racing Thoughts: all around me! Impulse Control: none, what's that? Shy, Timid, Hesistant: Hell No! I'm definitely the aggressor. When do I want it: Right Now!!! Shopping: Did somebody say mall? Where's the nearest ATM? Persuasive: I could make you do anything. Just look into these baby, brown eyes... Sex Drive: Grrr!!! I want it and I want it now! It doesn't matter where. Confused: No, I'm brilliant! Welcome to the Madness! Feelings: hmm, grandiose, on top of the world, untouchable! Other people's feelings: o
  3. I was probably 13. I'd like to say I'm cured but I know that I'm not. I am disgusted by my weight currently.
  4. I'm so tired of taking meds that it's not even funny. So frustrated I guess because there seems to be no light at the end of my tunnel. Today is such a bad day...
  5. Think about it this way...no one is perfect. Accept the fact - what meds work for one may not work for another People in your life will probably not understand you because they don't have bipolar. There's nothing wrong with having to be hospitalized Take your meds!!! Always be upfront with your pdoc. If you don't feel comfortable with doing that then you might want to look into getting a new pdoc
  6. People can say certain things, certain smells will effect me, and I typically have flashbacks when I'm down. When I am manic, I can't hear the voice inside my head. In mania, I'm too busy in the moment to think about it.
  7. They do have a tendency not to believe you because sometimes you didn't even realize that you're going into manic state. I'll give you an example...you start talking faster then you normally would. Also, jumping from subject to subject is another indicator. There are so many things that are red flags. Sometimes, I can realize that I'm going into a mania but not always. Hope this helps some
  8. Let's see, oh the things I can name. In one weeks time I spent over $3000 on makeup.
  9. Geez you'd think I was Satan reincarnated. Yes, I know that what I did was wrong and no I'm not an alcoholic. I usually do what I'm going to say that I'm doing. Maybe, that was the wrong example to use obviously. So let's start this over again. I'm not allowed to have any friends, I'm constantly told that I need to eat (I think at 37, I would know when I was hungry) and no I'm not underweight by any means. He calls me every couple of hours wanting to know what I'm doing and where I'm at. He tells me when I should go to bed and what to watch on tv. These are better examples hopefully.
  10. I feel like this crap is a curse. I decided to go to a psychologist for testing just so I could maybe understand myself. When I got the results it stated that I had mixed personality disorder (FML). What that means is that I fit into a lot of different disorders. I knew that I had some kind of personality disorder but damn really. My tdoc says sometimes it's a bad thing to take those tests because it confirms that you are totally f**ked up. It's right there in black & white!!! So depressing
  11. Well, my pdoc put me on a new med in hopes that it will help. We are doing drastic changes so I'm a little leery. This is my cocktail: equetro, Wellbutrin, zoloft, pamelor, klonipin, rozerem, & know fetzima (which is a fairly new drug). I'm supposed to be weaning myself off the pamelor and Zoloft. I'm to the point of feeling completely hopeless. I know that I need to do what the pdoc says but I want to get better sooner rather than later. I've decided to not wean myself off the meds just to see if it will flip my mood. My only concern is that I hope that it doesn't make me agitated.
  12. I feel you! What's sad is I feel like I can't be myself!!! I don't know if this happens to you but when people want to get to you than all the bad things you've done get thrown in your face.
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