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  1. Thank you, Melissaw72 and Baepolar :-) I didn't know there were meds for this! I might ask about it at my next appointment. Thanks again! I had a binge-free day yesterday so I am feeling a bit more optimistic and motivated Van
  2. Wow Cosima, thank you for sharing that document- it has some really useful tips/food for thought on there. I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling, too. I'm going to try an figure out what some of my triggers are, too. I can definitely see that being helpful. I am in therapy, although for financial reasons it is not as often as it could be for maximum benefit. Also, I stupidly told my therapist that I just wanted to address the anxiety and depression, as I don't feel ready to make huge changes to the E.D. I think I'm afraid that she will push me to make too many changes, when I really just want to work on one thing at a time. I always thought if I tackled the other issues, the bulimia would just go away on its own... I see how silly that sounds, however (I think I'm being a bit of a coward to be honest). Thank you, Cosima, for your encouragement and letting me know I am not alone <3
  3. I've had bulimia for15 years, with small periods of treatment and recovery. I'm really struggling right now- I cannot stop myself from bingeing/purging. I have eaten away most of my money and I feel like crap most of the time. I have decided that today will be a binge-free day and I really want and need to be successful at this. I feel like if I can have one good day under my belt I can improve my chances of keeping it up. What helps you keep from bingeing? Looking for some support and/or advice, maybe even just some words of encouragement... Thank you, Van
  4. I asked my psychiatrist and he said "hmmm let's take a look", and went into the computer system and then after a few moments said, "Well, I have you as having depression and anxiety, but that's pretty standard..." I'm still not sure what was meant by this. I got the impression that he just put those down to put something down LOL. He did day I was ED NOS, though, which was surprising, as I always thought I was bulimic. I always just assumed what I was based on what he prescribed me. Now, I need an actual assessment for insurance purposes and to register as a student with a disability, so I am FINALLY getting a full assessment/workup that should give me some concrete answers.
  5. did something happen that influenced your depression or made you mad at yourself? My ED comes in spurts, too- it's always sort of there, but it really shows itself every once in a while. Usually during times of stress and depression.
  6. I was 11 when I first tried going a whole day without food- I didn't know why at the time, but now I think it may have been because I wanted someone to notice that I wasn't OK (no one did). I was also taller than everyone else in my grade and I had boobs and hips which made me feel like a huge monster. I was told I was ugly by a random man on the street and I remember thinking, "If I can be skinny it won't matter if I'm ugly." I liked the feeling I got when I didn't eat and could see and feel my hipbones when I lay down on my back or side. When I was 13 or 14 I started bingeing and purging. I liked the idea that I didn't have to have as much control over what I ate when I did this. Now I am 27 and still bulimic. I feel like it is something that is so ingrained into me now that I will never be able to overcome it. I'm not even sure I want to overcome it. It just seems like a normal, everyday part of my life now.
  7. I have what I can recognize as strange ideas that most people wouldn't find normal and would probably think are delusions, but I still believe them. I'm afraid not to believe them, because some of them are frightening and I need to protect myself. I know that they are strange, but I also know there is a high chance they are real. It is very confusing. But also not confusing... LOL wow I'm confused
  8. Hello. I've been diagnosed with depression and bulimia. Began dealing with both when I was about 10, officially diagnosed at 15. Struggled on and off ever since. Struggling quite a bit with a depressive episode right now. Thanks for having me here! Van
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