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About xXSombraXx

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  • Location
    West Midlands, England
  • Interests
    Video Gaming, Pokemon, Sonic the hedgehog, Retro, Animals, Crafts, Music, Hats, Beanie Babies

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  1. I've been off CB for all of january and only logged in today to be greeted with this awful news. I'm truly shocked and saddened, he was always so lovely and a calm energy. I will miss him.
  2. I can relate to a lot of what you're saying, I too feel the prolonged emptiness and numbness and nothing seems to make it go away. I have pockets of hyperness muddled within that where I want to do EVERYTHING and get dead excited over little things. I haven't yet found a way to cope with the vast emptiness when it starts, but my therapist suggested making small changes that might ease stress such as making a meal plan instead of getting food on the fly. I don't know if stress is a factor for you, but I thought I'd share what she said just in case
  3. There's never a set time for how long it lasts, sometimes it'll be a few days and sometimes weeks. I've just started to return to emotions after about 2 weeks of numbness and now I'm slipping into a depression, but before ive gone from being numb to being hyper. You probably need to give the meds some time to balance out and you'll probably feel more in tune again if that makes sense. Yeah pokemon is a major part of my life I'm a huge collector and play the video games aha
  4. i know all too well how it feels to have a sudden emotional cut off, and then it all comes back again out of nowhere. It might be a small side effect of the meds or it might just be your brains way of self preserving after a period of high emotion. Loving the pichu profile pic btw big pokemon fan myself =)
  5. I've always thought rapid mood swings were associated with BPD so that's a reason why I'm so pissed off with this psychiatrist, he's left me feeling utterly confused and obsessing over my true diagnosis. I tend to have rapid mood fluctuations on top of what I call a baseline mood, so if I have a depressed baseline mood with fluctuations from the BPD ill have a period of say a month where the majority of the time I'll not want to do anything, not care about what I'm eating or not eating and just generally be ghost like, but in between I'll have random days where I'm super active and rapidly talking. I'll just always revert back to the depressed mood. I find I have long periods of introversion and extroversion, the introvert side always assosciated with my depression. Same goes for creativity, I'll be all creative for months and suddenly it'll disappear, and also true for obsessive calorie counting versus not caring at all.
  6. Thank you, I'm glad you understand my frustration! And that's what I was thinking, as soon as I read that cyclothymia doesn't include psychotic symptoms it hit a nerve that I'm yet again not being listened to! I also consider my moods to be too extreme for that criteria also, ill literally go from being completely unresponsive to anything or depressed and self harming to bouncing off the walls and talking non stop within 24 hours! Ugh gotta wait 2 months to question him too! I'll probably take it up with my support worker in the meantime because this is gonna keep going round in my head!
  7. Ok so I asked my psychiatrist what my official diagnosis is on paper because I got sick of various "professionals" throwing labels out there (including BPD, bipolar, anxiety, depression and schizophrenia) and not actually telling me an up-to-date definite diagnosis. He told me BPD is a sure thing, but he thinks there's something going on on top of that because of how fast my mood changes (but I thought that was a symptom of BPD anyway?) he threw out there that he's looking at cyclothymia, which has resulted in me obsessively researching it and frustrating me as I don't agree with it! I have hallucinations and delusions (which the psych knows about) which aren't present in cyclothymia! So I'm utterly confused and irritated. I have issues trusting people as it is and i can't deal with thinking that even the top consultant psychiatrist doesn't even know how to do his job >.<
  8. The only tolerance skill I've really adapted is to listen to loud music in my earphones and tap to the beat, but that's usually only in certain situations, when my anxiety is at a high level but not likely to escalate into a panic attack you know? Sometime the space between my anxiety rising and having a panic attack is literally just minutes
  9. I read it on sign up =) not a fan of nipple clamps myself though
  10. I'm half way to being diagnosed Borderline and i can totally relate to that feeling of whiplash. Sometimes its just purely EXHAUSTING being so intense and emotional!
  11. As much as i like my counsellor, and i do honestly, i cant help but get pissed off with the advise she gave me today. I've heard it all before from CBT. i had a panic attack today, thanks to stupid workmen outside my flat blocking entrances and glaring at me as i walk through the gate saying no access (theyd put these signs on both exits to my building, i guess they figured i can dematerialise from inside my block and reappear on the pavement outside). So not only could i go through my normal exit, i had to go round the back with led onto a different street, que anxiety and panic attack. I explained what had happened to my counsellor, and yeah i appreciate her advise and she did make a better point than the CBT therapists (and that was to start small), but i am so sick of hearing the same "use the thought tools" and "try to catch yourself out during an anxiety episode and think everything through logically". I understand her point, but the thing is i've suffered with this for so long, and i physically CANT slow my brain down at that moment and think things through rationally. And then trying to explain that causes the response of "well just try". AS IF I DONT?! Ugh! Rant over.
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