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Everything posted by Light

  1. Dont know what to think anymore.. When you get told one thing but in your gut you know you are Bipolar- So confused - really need to vent =\

  2. Whats the difference of all this and' of leaving a message on someones profile? Profiles are public last time i recalled? Glad you mention some of those names BB and others - i really wanted to know about - wont name names, i too dont wanan get in trouble- didnt wanna pm those who havent been around as i very rarely message people first as i dont like to be a bother
  3. Welcome, and all the best for the 4th of Oct You have good movie/tv/gaming tastes!
  4. I got my hair done! She was busy with a client so i couldnt say to her straight away ( im super shy lol ) Yeah ive known about the open ' wounds'- ive had these for years now sadly ( no pdoc or doc has ever helped with the head picking so ive just been a nasty habit for way too long ) I really should have called - If it was a hairdresser i didnt know well i would have called or made more of a effect - Even though i dont know her well, ive been seeing her for few years now maybe ( wow thats gone by fast ) for my waxing - So really i should have still made more of a effort to call first because then if i got turned away, i would have been too embarrassed to come back for my normal waxing ( and that would suck, im fussy with my waxing, well im fussy anyways lol ) Its true, i got my hair with foils ( i dont know if thats a difference really ) but it didnt hurt, then again because of had these 'gross dots' on my head for years now im use to the pain, also dying over them ( yeah not wise people.. ) I've only used home dyes at home that at semi perm, Manic Panic dyes ( once again no recommended dont be stupid like me ) I wish i had read your posts before i went for my apt yesty, because i could have asked about the off scalp colour to make sure it wouldnt touch ( i didnt really think of that since i forget things alot with my anxiety kicking my ass)
  5. Thank you for your reply ^^ - nervous isnt going - scared, blah
  6. iI have a apt in a few days, and i forgot to ask or talk to her about my head, she knows i have anxiety, but i dont think she knows about my poor head(its very bad), i head pick too much, and i have scabs ( i know gross ), i've never got my hair coloured at a hairdresser before and im scared of what she will think or if she wont do my hair at all due to hygiene ( i guess like if someone came in and they had lice ) ? I dont know what to do and of course freaking out because thats what i do best. I want to call before i go in, but im still scared to bring it up, let alone making the phone call. I dont want to cancel either, because thats also what i do best, i dont know what to do, i asked my mum she she it will be fine ( apart from the colour going onto the bad areas ) im not worried about that, more worried if she cant do my hair or what she will think and how bad it looks ( since i cant look at my own head >.> )
  7. I have no experience but following along if you continue to journal, and i wish you all the best.
  8. Nobody gives enough of a a shit

  9. Tried - have been ready to go to bed hours ago - Not complaining really - sleep is welcome, its better than not sleeping and i dont wish that again. Thankful. Cant wait to get into bed and cozy into my blankets and pillows and my comfit mini blanket lately that has been amazing as added extra - and watch netflix or something good like Fraiser <3
  10. I hope RL troubles sorts out very soon for you I got out of bed, its not even 12:30pm yet but thats alot for me right now, i hope to get other goals done when my house has'nt got tradies making all the noise and settings my nerves off and anxiety even more through the roof as it already is
  11. Stress and anxiety i can feel it rising, even though im trying to keep calm in this situation, i hate, or well dislike strongly trades people, i really really do, this isnt what i need with these panic attacks/anxiety attacks that have been non stop in the past week.. trying to stay calm

  12. Since this is pinned - i hope i can post - Since the service cat link is old and broke, anyone have any info on service cats?
  13. I vacuumed. not as deep as i wanted to but i did rooms and got what i saw, still need to vaccum under beds better though and side of things, i didnt go out though, but thats tomorrows goal.
  14. I've been on Seroquel( well generic, Quetiapine ) for months now, i've been on 100mg at night - Since its been amazing for helping me sleep at night, i have noticed my anxiety hasnt really improved ( not blaming meds ) and my moods have not either, infact im up and down in some type of pattern ( noticed a week or 2 weeks before im due for my period ) i seem to get suicidal and/or really depressed ) - anyways im going off topic a little - Wanting to not be sleeping my days away i thought id go back to GP and tell him, i told him i really dont wanna change meds ( because this is my first time being on Antipsych meds ) and i was scared enough as it is going on them in the first place - anyways, he said for me to take 100 mg in the morning and see how that goes - oh boy was i wrong in feeling like that would help.. I was doing that dosage for 3 days, those days were all fine, infact i was feeling really drugged up and relaxed ( i took that as a good sign that that would start working in a week or so ) - Hell no, no no no no - Its been 7 days since i had light headed and HUGE panic attack that is just worse, i got up to get a drink from being on pc and i though oh wow this is weird i dont feel good, its like a panic attack but worse, walking around i thought fuck im going to passout, yup im going to pass out and im gone, something felt so so wrong, anyways not a good time i nearly had to get my mum to call ambo, she really wanted me to but i freak out, im scared oh hospitals (aswell as ending up in psych ward, great fear ) - anyways to cut it short, 2 doctors later and im on day 7, i feel not well at all still. After this happened i went back to my 100mg dosage at night only ( 2nd doc that i had to call to home ( home doc ) said to do that, 1st doc i went to was really useless ( Sunday doc, my doc was shut ) - I still feel like walking around and even sitting down like im going to pass out and panic attacks/anxiety attacks, the main thing is i feel like im " not here" its scary as fuck and i want it to go away, its horrible its hell. Does anyone have a clue or something happened to them going up in dosage on Seroquel/Quetiapine ? Both doctors didnt give much - And yes im going to go see a pdoc, its just really hard atm, im really struggling, i wanna feel like myself again, i want these passing out/ not feeling like im here that i get with panic attacks to go away, i thought by now id be better since im on my normal dose again and its been days, and im doing my best to stay as calm as possible and not freak out as i read thats not going to make it better. Also have freaked myself out at reading another forum and people have this and its lasted them a month/ or months or even years, im so scared and im so so tired, its draining, i feel like im always on the couch now, so instead of sleeping my days away im now couch bound and feeling like this.. I've been meaning to make this thread for days now, i keep holding hope that its going to go away I hope i havent forgotten anything and sorry about typing or any errors as my mind is just really all over the place confuses slightly It might not even be from the upped dose? I dont know. I thought maybe its from something else, since i have been have nightmares ( meds make them vivid but then again i have dreams that are vivid so im not blaming meds ) and it has been bringing someone up but i wont get into that as its very TW im sure to others, and it might not even have anything to do with that.
  15. Oh it makes alot of sense to me right now actually
  16. That's fine dance, know the feeling I hope you feel better, that is interesting though thank you
  17. Feel little out of breath or just hard to breath, and apparently I can't spell lol, constant panic attack/anxiety attack/s many many have lasted 6 days straight, I wish that wasn't a thing but believe me it's possible... So very very tried and dread walking around.. postive - I'm alive and not in hospital - I'll be finding a pdoc (trying to think this is a postive)haven't seen someone in over a year apart from GP
  18. This has been happening for months now I tryed moths ago resetting my password and ticking rember me, my log in but it doesn't, I gave up few times, now this time I'm needing support badly, I've had enough and just posting this help thread, thinking maybe a cookie issue but I'm on a different browser and still happening, my mind can't think straight, so wondering if it's just me, I'm guessing it is since I've been reading forums and seen nobody else post thus issue
  19. Not well at all, gotta try look and stay positive 

  20. I don't know whats going on - i have a sneaky feeling i have been going hypo yet i feel depressed - its hard to explain. I have to be wrong, because if it was hypo then that means bipolar - which ' i dont have because no profession has said shit, unless i pay $80 and wait months' ugh
  21. Being your own mental health advocate gets tiring. I wanna go back to being a kid. I would get help and care if so.

  22. I have so many - I know when i went shopping - i was trying to 'do it myself' even though i was riddled with panic attacks - and i was so dislocated i was just trying to get it together and do my thing and get and do what i had to do - i was'nt alone but i went off and got what i had to get. I recall getting a pre paid cc and i was'nt in my right mind of thinking clearly - and i thought the teller/lady - whatever had shorted me cash - went through the big deal ( surprisingly ) of complaining - by going back into the supermarket - one of the ladys wasnt too nice and i knew was quietly(you know those looks ) judging me and my appearance ( clothings not fitting how id like, since i have put on weight yet again ) This other lady or also wasnt too friendly counted at the main desk of the money till to make sure - ending up being i was wrong - i walked out feeling so horrible and like a bloody fool, i could have died, or just broke down right then and there - i was a mess, i just amazingly held it together and got out of there. I'll remember more when im in bed or something - im sure i have a huge bag full that my mind likes to mock me and remind me of shit.
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