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The Right Honourable Jimmy

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Everything posted by The Right Honourable Jimmy

  1. My crown is in my heart, not on my head; not decked with diamonds and Indian stones, nor to be seen: my crown is called content, a crown it is that seldom kings enjoy.

  2. I've been doing good, no mood problems but I'm buried in college work and it's like all work no play and it infuriates me. I've been skipping my night meds about twice a week to stay up to do work so I can at least have Friday night/Saturday to myself so I can watch a film, go to the pub or play a game or something. I missed so much college work when I was in hospital last year (thanks to the NHS fkin my meds) that I have to catch up on work and at least have a life outside of coursework. College says if I don't finish my work I'll have to continue on a 3rd year on a 2 year course which I'm trying so hard to avoid. The meds make it so hard to work but I can't risk it and reduce them, not now anyway
  3. Yeah I understand how it feels to be fucked up on cannabis like that and that's my number one reason why I would never go to Amsterdam. I disconnect completely with weed, I can't speak or think properly, it's like a catatonic state for me. I've smoked weed about three times in my life and out of all those times I couldn't take myself home or anything. At least with booze I can take myself back home...even if I have to crawl.
  4. I had my previous psychiatrist say that if I kill myself it would be an accident and more recently I went to see a psychologist and on her report afterwards she wrote "His manic episodes could be down to his heroin use"...I never touched heroin in my life...and I swear that one didn't even look like a typo. She did ask if I have ever taken drugs and I said yes a couple of times in a festival.....but jesus christ...heroin? Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the NHS where our CQC reports are Inadequate & Needs Improving across the board and we can still run our practice PS We don't give a rats arse about your mental health now fuck off and pay for private healthcare with your £47 a week if you wanna live. This is Britain everybody
  5. I take seroquel which knocks me out but I don't always see it as a blessing when I want to stay up. If you're a college student and take it, it's a curse or at least you consider it as a curse. It does give you a good nice sleep though.
  6. I remember last time I was in hospital and I was chatting with one of the nurses, he told me that he used to work at this private forensic psych ward where there was this woman who she had very complex mental health needs and on her care plan it was set up that they would give her a sterile [sharp object] to make a small incision on her arm while supervised and then treat it appropriately. It was all based on trust. He told me that she needed to do that or her mental well-being will deteriorate even further. Where I'm getting with this is as long as you treat the wound and it's superficial then the only damage is visual and if you don't care about it then it's up to you decide if you want to stop. I would advise you that self-harming is not the best way to treat your problems but it's up to you to decide. What makes us humans is the ability to make choices and the choice to stop is only up to you, no one else. I have slight my wrists with the intent to die before while I was having an episode, sometimes during it I used to get really drunk while depressed and cut (still with the intent to die but I failed many times 'cause I was paralytic) . I've came very close to dying when I tried sober but I was mostly lucky because I had lots of people around me at the time and I ended up in psych and not at the morgue. After the right treatment, I realized that suicide is not the answer to my problems but I still have to carry those big ugly scars with me, the many days that I had to stay at the general hospital. I hope you realize that cutting is just running away from your problems and if you don't talk to a professional you might not be as lucky and in time those cuts might get bigger and your intent might change to something worse. Every addiction gets worse, trust me I know, my dad died because of a heroin addiction.
  7. I can never understand sometimes if people are just trolling me online or they mean all the horrible things they say. If I knew they were horrible to me or trolling for that matter, I'd be able to deal with it just fine, it's the uncertainty that pisses me off.

  8. Yeah but thanks to chronic fatigue because of seroquel I've become a lazy bastard that sits and watches tv shows while eating two portions of pasta
  9. "Day time is for playing, night time is for homework." My Brain

    I really need to sort out my priorities.

  10. I've been feeling scared for about 2 or 3 weeks now and I feel like I'm losing it a bit. All the sounds around me feel magnified and I'm panicky. About a week ago I had a bit of a freak out. I hadn't slept for about 3 days(college work) and I was seeing someone following me, a woman. I got on the bus to get back home and everyone was staring at me at the bus. I was panicking after that, I was hearing footsteps. I didn't go home for that night because I thought someone was trying to kill me. I had about 10 pills of diazepam that I hadn't taken from about 10 months ago and I started taking them the next day and everything has calmed down a bit today and I've started questioning everything and realized maybe what I was experiencing wasn't real. I want to talk about it to my CPN nurse but I can't. Last year I was given a diagnosis of BPD solely on my scars on my arm which was given by a psychiatrist who saw me for 15 minutes which questioned my BP diagnosis even if there's clear history of acute mania. I always denied the BPD diagnosis and they finally realized now that I probably don't have a personality disorder and I will have an appointment to confirm that. They found it strange that I'm doing so well now hence they are finally removing the diagnosis. If I tell them I lost my shit they will change their minds. The NHS are desperate to diagnose people with PD because they can strip them off their meds and blame everything on their upbringing and leave them stranded. A close friend of mine actually has BPD and she gets no help at all and yes they did strip her off her ADs and APs she was taking when she was diagnosed. I'm just about to have the PD diagnosis removed, if I start saying I need help they'll change their minds. I don't know what to do.
  11. To be honest it's only offensive if you let it. Unfortunately, politics are all about comebacks and he did kinda nailed it in my opinion. In a perfect world politicians would work together to make a nation thrive with happiness and balance and not try to get back at each other like teenagers but that would never happen unless we evolve and become wiser.
  12. "I think he took too many drugs" police . no I'm manic and I'm at risk and I won't realize for at least 2 months so do something before my immortality wears off and I die
  13. Most people with bipolar who don't take any meds have been on meds for decades and have been episode free for decades also and only then they eventually with a doctor closely watching over them come off them really slowly. If you never took any meds ever I''d suggest that you get on them. Being medication free is something that takes time ...lots of time. I've said to myself that if I'm episode free for at least 20 years I'll try and temper off with close observation. I was told that was a reasonable choice by the bipolar peer support group that I attend.
  14. As everyone can see MI + Weed = bad idea I don't care what all the stoners say to excuse their addiction. Weed is a bad mix plus if you take psych meds it's even worse.
  15. I can not smoke weed because most of the times I have I sat and stared at the wall for four hours, people try and talk to me but I just can't talk. I go into like a mental coma so I try and avoid that stuff. Stimulants on the other hand....[this is the part where I shut up] Btw cannabis is shown to cause psychosis according to British scientists so I agree with southern discomfort.
  16. doing my homework while buzzed is probably not the best idea but I got to do it :/ lol

    1. jt07

      jt07

      Homework as in schoolwork? My former topology (maths) professor told us once that we should do our homework with 1 glass of red wine - no more and no less. 

    2. The Right Honourable Jimmy

      The Right Honourable Jimmy

      collegework...

      and maybe i should try that 

      it sounds classy, I'm studying film-making anyway and its a practical course so I'll be all right I think

    3. jt07

      jt07

      Sounds great!

  17. I realized why I haven't had a girlfriend for so long...I'm broke af 24/7 :/

    1. saintalto

      saintalto

      My husband was in-between jobs and I was jobless when we were first married. People who are attracted to money and not to a person aren't much fun to be with. We've never had any money, but we've had a good time just being with each other. 10 years this year officially this year and still not much to call our own. We still laugh about subsisting largely on watered down, milkless/eggless pancakes during our first year. Hardship and being poor isn't as hard if you can laugh with someone about it.

  18. It's a disorder..you obviously don't know what mania does to you. Manic Psychosis could kill you. I thought I was immortal...that's fkin dangerous and mania itself is disabling. You can't write jack shit if you're manic because you are writing gibberish.
  19. I drink about 4 energy drinks plus coffee and I'm still alive mate...so I don't think it's dangerous because of the seroquel..... but it maybe bad for your condition
  20. I don't want to come across as contradicting but do you think its possible it could have been something else that made you feel happy? I mean I've had moments in the past where stuff happened and made feel great and I was all jumpy and happy which lasted for just hours and I thought I was going manic but I calmed down after. To be hypomanic from what I know it has to be constant for 5 days if you are rapid cycling. I dunno...just sayin it could have been something else that's my dumb opinion anyway
  21. It really depends on your mood...the dosage I mean First time it was prescribed for me for psychotic mania, it took me around 700-800mg to bring me down 400mg lifted me from depression in december when I started taking it again...(I had stopped taking last year)
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