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About openembrace

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  1. Mmm disabled students services are a wonderful thing. Even if you don't wind up having to use them, it's nice to have the cushion.
  2. Most people are a little taken off guard when they found out. They just... don't expect it of me.
  3. the nightmares are coming back and haunting me again. i have nowhere to turn 'cept for the blade. i don't want to be this way. i don't want to be who i was. i see a new shrink next week. then another new one in september when i move for school. and i'm scared. i don't want to be caught in this trap. but everything is so vicious, so deadly, so horrible... and i'm stuck in a cycle. i hear the razor calling my name.... and i try to fight it but i don't know how much longer i can.
  4. They changed my DX after they released me from the psych ward in 2007. I'm still not sure I qualify as borderline, but alas, thus sayeth the doctor. I'm on Effezor, Lamitical, Klonpin, Ablify, and Seroqual. They are working on DCing the Ablify though. I don't know what other DX would fit me though so *shrug*.
  5. Well a miracle has happened. I wasn't scheduled to see the pul until July 30th, as I switched doctors and I'm a new patient. I call to see if I can bump it up, as I was just back in the ER last night. The recionipist is like "You sound TERRIBLE!" and put me on hold. Next thing I know, I have an appointment on Monday.
  6. To four year college. Moving out of state. I'm going to be offically "disabled" as I'll be in a motorized wheelchair due to ataxia and other various disorders. And I'm scared. I'm going on from community college. It'll be my second attempt at a four year college. Only this time, I'm going in under more disablity services, both physical and psychological. It's stressful. I'm not sure how I'll handle it. I'll be making the leap from community to four year. I have my schedule. I have my move in date. I have my room (but no roommates yet). I have everything lined up. And yet I feel scared, worried. Has anyone else made the big leap/is going to make the big leap? I'm scared people will judge me for being disabled. I'm scared people will judge me and not want to get to know me for who I really am. I'm scared of so much - as these past two quarters I've mainly taken online courses and the mobility device is going to be a "new" thing.
  7. Yeah, I use an nebulizer and I had been using once every four hours (as my PCP had directed) but that has ceased to work. I forgot that Advair had an inhaled steroid in it. *headesk* Sorry, I haven't been sleeping well lately and my head's been in the clouds. I'm on the highest possible dose though, and have been for well over a year. I used to see a pulminologist, but he released me as I was under control at the time. I've switched hospitals, though, so I'm thinking that I should be asking my PCP for a referral to one in the right hospital system. (AKA it's in the same health system, but the one the pulminlogist is at has treated me horribly on prior admissions *not the doctor himself, the nursing staff and other doctors*), whereas other hospitals in the system are MUCH better. (Gotta love the Ohio life, eh?) Right now I've quit using everything, cept for the Singuliar and the Advair, as I don't see the use in taken the useless nebs. I was on Pulmicort for awhile, but that didn't help either. It's just very frustrating as of late. Sorry if I'm kind of foggy or rambly. I'm just out of it lately.
  8. Honestly? It's geared towards innercity young adults, and I was raised in a rural area. The way the other kids talk and present themselves make me feel uncomfortable. Yes, I know I will be presented with this at a later point in my life. But right now, I can't handle it. Nothing they discuss is ever revelant, nor is it "helpful" to me. And the other people in the group make me feel sad - because they have no life goals, no ambaitions, whereas I do. They looked at me like I was from Jupiter when I said my life goal was to be a creative writing college professor, whereas they don't really *have* one. The group leader made such a big deal and hoo haw about it that it just makes me uncomfortable. Plus one of the clinets thinks I have a crush on him (heck no!) and that makes it even MORE awkward. I'm just trying to manage until I move to college, and then I'll start fresh with a new therapist at the school.
  9. Nope, no inhaled steriods. I am starting to think that I am building up an immunity to Xopenex - is that possible? They don't give Xopnex is the ER, as they don't have it. I hate taking Albuteral as it screws up the heart rate but when I use my old inhaler it works better than the nebulized Xopenx. I know the body can build up immunites to allergy pills (which is why my brand has to be switched every now and again) but is it possible with inhaled mist thingamajiggers?
  10. My family doctor didn't say what I had. He's just like "this is what we do for an asthma flare up" and threw me on some antibotics. (Amoxicilin I think? Sorry, not clear. Just got up and meds haven't kicked in yet). Urgent care doc is supposed to call and check up on me by Monday or Tuesday, so I'll tell him what they said (he just wanted a 24-48 hour observation/IV steriods) and hope he can rip them one.
  11. I've been wheezing, coughing, hacking, and just all around miserable since Tuesday. Wednesday, I'm in the ER. Breathing treatment, sent home. Thursday, I'm in my doctor's office. Put on antibotic and steriods. Friday, still not any better. Go to the urgent care. They give me a breathing treatment, then tell me to go to the ER and request to be admitted. Of course, that doesn't work. Since he didn't give it to me IN WRITING that he wanted me admitted, I'm screwed. All I have is his words, so it winds up being my word against the the ER/my doctor. I don't know what to do right now. I'm in chest pain, wheezing and coughing. I don't feel comfortable at home. All it does is rapidly cycle. One second I'll be fine, the next second I'll be choking and gasping for breath. But because I'm "only 20" my doctor won't admit me because he feels that I'm young and healthy and able to deal with it.
  12. I know what it's like to suffer in daily pain. It sucks. No words of advise, just words saying that I've been there and it sucks.
  13. I'm still alive. I wound up in the ER after all, and then in my doctor's office today. He gave me Predisone and an antibotic, in addition to continue to do the Xopnenx every 4 hours. So I'll likely be up all night because it's been flaring up badly again. If it's still bad tomorrow, I'll be going to the urgent care centre as I'm not going back to the ER unless I'm like falling over dying. (My mom works and i won't be able to get in sameday - but I have a ride)
  14. I wound up going - and they didn't yell at me. Normally I'm able to get in with my doctor and he's able to take care of me. It's just that I couldn't get in today. Anyway, I got in today and I got an (albeit overly bubbly) PA who was actually nice.
  15. I'm a known klutz. Part of it is due to tachodarya, my heart rate increases suddenly. For me, walking up the stairs would suddenly cause my heart rate to skyrocket and I would pass out/fall. Could a side effect of your meds be tachocaryda?
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