OliverB

Got a psychosis and bipolar diagnosis.

After many years I got diagnosed with psychsis and bipolar.

I have mostly run out of meds to try. No benzos. AD made me manic. AP, I have tried almost all except for clozaril and lurasidone. Anyway, I asked for meds a month ago. He didn't want to give me anything more than benzo. He said I didn't need anything. I told him I thought he wasn't understanding what I was telling him (he=the ER psychiatrist). He didn't care. My psychologist left me a message telling me to call him on Tuesday. Need to talk to him.

I have never really taken medication. They cause me too many side effects.

Like a month ago I went to ER and explained them I wasn't feeling right but still wasn't bad enough for them to prevent me to talk or making me believe they wanted to hurt me. The ER psychiatrist was bah, he didn't care. He didn't understand what I was telling him. Now they are here. I cannot ask for help. I have already been caught. My psychologist is going to call me next week. He called me 4 times this week buy I had turned my phone off and didn't know he was going to call me.

Hi, I am sorry for replying so late. I do not take any kind of medication on a regular basis. I wish I could be drunk all the time and forget about everything, but I cannot. IDK Doctors are not really helpful. It's just fun, according to the cat it's fun.

I feel emotionally high, as If I had taken meth, but I haven't (and I do not take drugs). I doubt it lasts enough to be considered hypomania/mania.

I feel sooo high I want to [TRIGGER] stab myself, cut myself and paint the walls with all the blood. Why the idea of doing it is so fun? IT'S HILARIOUS[/TRIGGER] I FEEL SO HIGH, but at the same time the worst piece of shit on the World. It just seem like the most fun thing to do. HILARIOUS is the word. (I won't harm myself, I just do not understand why this happens to me) Does it happen to you?

She threatened me and accused me of lying. I haven't asked for a second appointment.

The appointment with the psychiatrist went really bad. I am seeing my psychologist in a week and half. I feel a bit better rigth now, still agitated while wanting to stab myself but without racing thoughts and sleeping 5h at nigth.

I haven't seen my new doctor yet, I will see her on monday. I am feeling better,

I do not understand it, I haven't done anything wrong. I do not put myself in danger. I am not a danger to others.

I wouldn't buy it if you already have one, it is not worth it (even if it is prettier). It is not a good idea to buy anything while manic... Or start 10000 projects, adopt numerous pets, ...

I also tried perphenazine, I forgot to list it.... I found it too sedating at 2mg.... (I had to split the tablet in four...). Well, lets see what happens next week. I will try to stay open minded about meds

Lithium? Oh oh oh, I doubt I would take it unless I became 100% psychotic and manic!. I think I could give a try to carbamazepine or lamotrigine, but lithium is a too heavy thing. The problems of typical AP with kess EPS is that there are much more sedating. Anyway, an AP migth not be needed if I am not psychotic.