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  1. Quoting myself to mention I returned everything but the 2 things I needed. I feel better. Good for you. I have to do something similar soon. Meant to be just what was on my list...maybe $60 worth...spent over $200...oops!!!
  2. Yeah, I was thinking of calling my pdoc tomorrow about it. And, I do know that...it's just that I'm usually ridiculously regular...and I have all the symptoms of having my period...I don't know...this is quickly getting to be TMI. Haha. I'm just trying to put it all together. This med is the only thing different...
  3. Is it possible that this drug can mess with your cycle? I mean, I've only been on it three weeks, but...well...things aren't right in the monthly cycle department. I've always, always been regular as can be...except this month...only difference is the Geodon.
  4. If I could afford it, that's exactly what I would do. I LOVED college. I think that's part of why I became a teacher. I spend all my time in an academic setting...albeit 8th grade English not college...but it works.
  5. Klonopin FINALLY kicking in...AND, AND, AND...I managed to beat some epic SH urges. :) I'm still not out of the woods...but I can at least sit still. Might try some reading...

  6. I've taken extra Klonopin...it's just not doing a darn thing. I hate this feeling. I can't cut...and yet, I don't know if I can hold off...it would immediately make things better. I'll look at the suggestions thread, though.
  7. ...sooooooo strong tonight. I'm going to cut. I can feel it. This is unreal. And I don't have anyone to talk me down...and I can't see my therapist until 12/9...and I'm sooooo going to cut...and I don't want to...but I have to. I hate myself...
  8. Been taking this for two weeks now...and I actually think it's helping. My episodes are still happening, but they're over quicker and seem less severe overall. And I seem to have worked through the heart palps and anxiety issue with it. I'm pleased. If it is working, it'll be the first med, other than my Klonopin, that has done anything good.
  9. I do like the sound of that. It's more positive than counting strings of days. Because I'm really upset that I've trashed 36 days in a row. That was so good. And, yes, I know it's not totally gone. I do. But...I don't know...it is. Tonight is day one, and my resolve to not SH just isn't there. It seems like it just doesn't matter. Like I've already screwed up...
  10. I tried...I REALLY tried...but 36 days is the best I could do clean. :( Soooooo...night 1 starts tomorrow, I guess. Damn it.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Stickler


      Caca occurs. You're doing good.

    3. Ceicbot


      hey congrats on 36, and now lets get a new set of 36!..we can do it together. Night 1 tomorrow. :) you're not alone

    4. Angeni Mai

      Angeni Mai

      I'm in the same boat. Lost it all for 1 moment of blahhh. Just start over. You did great.

  11. 36 days...I made it 36 days. I guess that's good. I've gone longer. But, OMG...I've never felt urges as strong and as persistent as they were tonight. I tried like hell for about 4 hours...everything I could think of...talking, eating, TV, Music, Youtube, work stuff, play with my cat, reading, research...and they just kept getting stronger. I'm glad I made it through Sunday and could truly go on that date with no fresh cuts. Now...I just have to hope these heal by the next date. I'm stuck somewhere between so fucking relieved I can't even begin to tell you...and sooooooo pissed for caving. But, I just couldn't...I really did try.
  12. I'm a big 'ole hypo mess...and there's so much to do...and I can't focus on more than one sentence at a time...UGH.

  13. Date day...a resounding success. :) Yeah!

    1. cosima


      yay!! i'm happy for you. will you be seeing her again?

    2. nonuser


      glad to hear it!!

    3. LesMis4


      Yup...already talking about when we can get together again. :)

  14. Thanks. And thank you for your kind words at the top...I meant to say something before, and I forgot.
  15. Thank you. I did make it. I'm cozy in bed...no new cuts...and I'm actually calm for the first time in days. The movie outing was great. I think getting out of my house seems to have helped. Thank you so much for the encouragement! I means a lot!!!
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