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susieb

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  1. i'd also like to mention that i am fully aware that taking hormones isn't going to fix all of the issues that i have in my life, making it all sunshine and roses, i am aware of that, however i do feel that once i am able to start HRT it could make me feel a bit better about myself and may improve my attitude in general. You should understand that your feelings are NOT permanent. You do not know yet if you will be turned down for HRT/gender change operation (although you did not mention that you are at that stage...) It doesn't sound to me as if they will turn you down, you sound secure and certain in your identity, etc . The feelings you are feeling are, I promise, temporary. Everyone (including myself) who has felt suicidal... everyone who seeks help. counseling, medication, etc.does feel better. It gets better, I promise. Also, perhaps, since you are online, you can google/research if there is a group for people with hearing impairments? If so--- those people would not be as frightening for you, I assume. Best of Luck
  2. You are not wrong to be unhappy. Something sounds shady, and they are not (given your description) doing what they are supposed to do. It's basic billing. I had a similar experience with a very expensive private p-doc... His billing company/method was a mess, it drove my Dad crazy. They claim they have to break up the session into specific increments- this many minutes spent talking about medication, this many minutes spent on just talk therapy,etc... Don't give up. I would follow the advice of other responders on here.
  3. I cannot stress enough that for me PERSONALLY, stopping lamictal cold turkey was the single worst thing I have EVER done, psychiatric medicine-wise. I am still recovering from the residual effects of cold turkey-ing Lamictal and Klonopin. No, I never had a seizure, but... I have had an odyssey of other physical issues that have lasted SEVEN months-- And I mean-- ZERO ability to go out, have a normal life... I spent most of the first 5 mos in & out of E.R. rooms. I am in menopause/perimenopause-- extremely uncomfortable, trust me... that may or may not have been precipitated by my 'messing around' with stopping Lamictal and Klonopin. I am having my gallbladder removed, I lost sooo much weight so quickly after: stopping Lamictal and Klonopin and only taking Wellbutrin. I was hospitalized for 5 days in a psychiatric hospital-- after nearly 30 yrs of successfully navigating/handling my bi-polar disorder just fine--no hospitalizations. Having read all that-- I hope you take everyone else's advice, talk to a GOOD psychiatrist-- that is, I hope yours IS good, reasonable, and receptive/ truly caring and capable (mine was NOT) and you titrate off Lamictal responsibly, if that is your final choice. To be honest-- I actually loved how Lamictal made me feel, my low grade depression lifted after what felt like years of just... dealing with it on Depakote/Wellbutrin. MY psychiatrist insisted I go up to 100 mgs of Lamictal, instead of simply keeping me at 50 mgs... again, I felt great, and I had minimal side effects at that dose. dry nasal passages, that's what I remember the most... the nausea, vomiting, peeling skin on my fingers (mild, NOT 'THE RASH'), did not start until 100 mgs. I have since tried to re-take Lamictal, and currently, I cannot-- too much nausea. I am actually going to ask my p-doc if I can re-try to titrate up on it super slowly--- just once more, AFTER my gallbladder removal & recovery. I liked Lamictal that much. Good Luck. Please be safe.
  4. Depakote/Valporaic Acid (so named in the USA) worked well enough for me- for years.. IE: 20 plus years. I got through college and graduate school on the combination of Depakote & Wellbutrin. what I noticed most of all was weight gain, which eventually, 20 some yrs later (last spring) caused me major depression. Depakote stopped working for me. I went off it, and switched to Lamictal, which I loved. until I didn't. Seven mos. later, I am back on Depakote. off the Wellbutrin (cold turkey??-- all the p-docs I have spoken to about this are FINE with my stopping Wellbutrin this way...) I am experiencing some unpleasant side effects this time around. Facial swelling, sores in my nose... I am not pleased.
  5. Thanks for your replies. I took my Wellbutrin today, because after 2 days without it, I felt really bad. In actuality, I've noticed dystonia type behavior while on the Wellbutrin (only). I do this weird thing with my tongue pushing the inside of my cheek. Ah well. I'll take that for now, versus the horrible feelings without it, and without anything to replace it. I am seeing my p-doc tomorrow- I have lots of questions.
  6. Went to ER for stomach pain/nausea. And yeah-- I was freaking out & wasnt sleeping or eating. I KNEW the advice was ill advised. I am calling p=doc in the AM, thanks.
  7. I was recently advised by An ER p-doc(yesterday) that it was perfectly fine to simply stop taking Wellbutrin SR 150. I've been taking Wellbutrin, in one form or another, for over 20 yrs. I was wondering if anyone else has had the same experience/been given the same advice, and if so, what was the outcome? For years, I took Wellbutrin XL 350. 1x daily. More recently, because my insurance changed and that type of Wellbutrin wasnt on the drug formulary, I switched to Wellbutrin SR 150. 1x daily. I had also stopped taking Lamotrigine- cold turkey because of horrible side effects-- severe nausea and vomiting. As a result, I have only been taking the Wellbutrin for mental health. My new p-doc is aware of all this, except for the recent advice the ER p-doc gave me yesterday. i have an appointment with her on Wednesday, so, day after tomorrow. The complete advice of the ER p-doc was: stop Wellbutrin altogether, and don't start any other mood stabilizers until I see my regular p-doc Wednesday. Any advice, commentary, similar experiences you may have would be greatly appreciated. Personally, I am not happy about this so called professional advice, but don't really know what to do at this point. Thanks. Essentially, what I am wondering-- does this strike anyone else as spectacularly BAD advice, or is it just me? Diagnosis: Bi-polar II, GAD, panic disorder, ADD. Hypothyroid disease. Meds: Levothyroxine 100 mg 1x daily Xanax 0.5 mg as needed (I usually only take 1/2 a tab) or Ativan 0.5 mg as needed. (also only 1/2 tab) Past RX's: Wellbutrin, Lamictal, Depakote, Klonopin, Celexa, Prozac, Ambien, Seroquel, Risperidone.... Elavil, Paxil, .... too many others I can't remember.
  8. I was recently advised by An ER p-doc(yesterday) that it was perfectly fine to simply stop taking Wellbutrin SR 150. I've been taking Wellbutrin, in one form or another, for over 20 yrs. I was wondering if anyone else has had the same experience/been given the same advice, and if so, what was the outcome? For years, I took Wellbutrin XL 350. 1x daily. More recently, because my insurance changed and that type of Wellbutrin wasnt on the drug formulary, I switched to Wellbutrin SR 150. 1x daily. I had also stopped taking Lamotrigine- cold turkey because of horrible side effects-- severe nausea and vomiting. As a result, I have only been taking the Wellbutrin for mental health. My new p-doc is aware of all this, except for the recent advice the ER p-doc gave me yesterday. i have an appointment with her on Wednesday, so, day after tomorrow. The complete advice of the ER p-doc was: stop Wellbutrin altogether, and don't start any other mood stabilizers until I see my regular p-doc Wednesday. Any advice, commentary, similar experiences you may have would be greatly appreciated. Personally, I am not happy about this so called professional advice, but don't really know what to do at this point. Thanks. Essentially, what I am wondering-- does this strike anyone else as spectacularly BAD advice, or is it just me? Diagnosis: Bi-polar II, GAD, panic disorder, ADD. Hypothyroid disease. Meds: Levothyroxine 100 mg 1x daily Xanax 0.5 mg as needed (I usually only take 1/2 a tab) or Ativan 0.5 mg as needed. (also only 1/2 tab) Past RX's: Wellbutrin, Lamictal, Depakote, Klonopin, Celexa, Prozac, Ambien, Seroquel, Risperidone.... Elavil, Paxil, .... too many others I can't remember.
  9. Yes! Thank you, and yes.. I do think some of it is definitely (a lot of it??) is as you say. So yes, I asked all those questions/agreed with the conclusion, and... my feeling on the benzo... yes I will take them, but oh gosh I am so... not jazzed to have to. I had the absolute worst time going off the klonopin cold turkey. I honestly think it's what started all this horrible stuff with how I am feeling- both physically and mentally (the constant panic/dizziness) My stomach is soo messed up.. Im just... so frustrated. But- yes. I am so very aware that the anxiety is so over riding, it's making me think everything is a side effect- until.. I take the benzo, along with the med. I think I will truly know the difference. However- & this sucks... but it's how my mond works, unfortunately- then I will start thinking: "Well.. how do I know that the benzo isn't interacting with this new mood stabilizer, & so now what I'm feeling is a... side effect?! . thank you very much though... I am appreciative of all the help.. that's why Im on here.
  10. Oh-yes.. definitely I am doing this w/ her knowledge/ supervision. I tried Lamictal back in Aug 13.. worked great (after years of depakote/wellbutrin cocktail-- then.. depakote stopped working) However, when my old p-doc tried to titrate me up(this was Dec 2013) to what HE considered "therapeutic" dose- IE: 100 mgs-- I started throwing up... non-stop. But-- I may have had the flu bug too... So.. after much nonsense-- But NO manic episodes.. I asked new p-doc if I could just try Lamictal again before trying Risperidone.. which I a) know nothing about about b) have read lots of baad stuff about/known people with nothing but bad experiences on it... So-- I tried Lamictal again, & ws very hopeful. After two days... I had weird sores inside my nose/mucous membranes, but on top of that.. on the second day, & only on 1/2 a tab of 25mgs--- the sores came back/got bigger/then I threw up-- yeah... no good. Risperidone- tried in ER last night. I had.. after 3-4 hours: really fast heartbeat... Raging insomnia, restlessness... & yeah.. I was twitching. I admit- I was twitching about ummm... 30-40 minutes after taking the dose? I don't know the dosage they gave me... but they 1/2'd it as well... Again- I have call into the p-doc.. hopefully she will call tomorrow. The reason I asked original question because I am well aware how 'not ok' this type of medicating/ trial/what have you is. It borders on the stupid.. & I am not stupid, just irrational about meds- (recent development.) I have always been compliant and well informed- perhaps too informed!
  11. OH-- oops- I just made an 'Emergency' appt for next week- put in a call to my p-doc/voicemail at the same time- today-- after 12 hrs in the ER-- fun stuff. The ER DID let me stay there while I took Risperidone for the 1st time...
  12. Thanks!! I also should have mentioned-- All this panic nonsense RE: side effects is.. mostly brand new for me. I've been on Mood stabilizers/had my diagnosis... for.. well... years.(& years). I never acted so panicky about med side effects, but--- since I had a yucky reaction to Lamictal at the end of Dec 2013--- Yeah. I'm a mess. physically- & mentally.(panic/anxiety x100) I 'cold turkeyed' Klonopin, (because I didn't know how dangerous it was) & the Lamictal. yeah-- about that. I've been so.. sick- dizzy, stomach upset, various other stuff too weird to mention- just... yuck.
  13. Hi-- I have a question. I am trying to re-start a mood stabilizer after 5, (almost 6 now!) months of NO meds except Wellbutrin and Benzos prn (as needed). (I am freaky about side effects, which is the reason for the question, honestly). Does anyone/ Can anyone offer insight as to the potential 'issues' with trying a new med-- then having a side effect.. so... after two days (if I'm lucky) tops, I want to try a different one? This can't be good for me-- Leave aside the fact that it's just plain... idiotic. I mean..does anyone know about the possible physical repercussions/effects? Here's what is happening- I try a med- as I mentioned-- if I am lucky- for 2 days- & if I have a reaction, usually rapid heartbeat/trouble swallowing... I stop. Yes- I've called my p-doc... and yes, I've tried to re-start (Lamictal- no go, unfortunately) So- after I stop.. At this point- six mos w/o mood stabilizers & horrible panic/anxiety... I want to start a diff. drug... the next day? Most recently it was: Lamictal- then Risperidone, now I want to try Gabapentin (again, after 4 1/2 mos. first try for 2 days.) Thank you so much for any insight/advice/comments. Diagnosis: Bi-polar II, severe depression, GAD, panic/anxiety disorder/social phobia, possible ADHD & SAD. Also- Hashimoto's disease/ aka: Hypothyroid disorder. & currently- Cholestasis/Gallstone. Drugs: For Mood: current: Wellbutrin 150mg 1x daily. Ativan ) 0.5 mg PRN, Xanax 0.5mg PRN, For Other: current: Levothyroxine 100 mg daily, Drugs I've tried in past: Depakote (for 20+ yrs) Klonopin, Lamictal/Lamotrigine, Prozac, Celexa, Ambien, Zoloft, Seroquel, Gabapentin, Risperidone.. Hydroxyizine, &.... I am sure I am forgetting a bunch of others? which, yes-- proves I am: very sensitive to side effects, both real & panic induced. Thanks again.
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