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  1. Thank you Titania for sharing your views, they were very well thought out. And yes we have discussed what the problems were between us. Communication was lacking on both ends mostly because were both stubborn. Right now we are basically back to sleeping at each others house every night after work. We have talked numerous times what we need to do to prevent a breakup. I honestly believe that I'm the only guy she has ever really loved and for me she is only the second girl I've ever loved and were both in our mid thirties so we certainly have an "it" to us. Yet I still remain cautious, while she sees no need for that but understands why I feel that way. All seems to be working well between us but you never know. I want to let it all go but at the same time I will not get hurt again. Thanks again to everyone. If you see me over on the suicide board " wake my ass up". I be been sleeping rather well since we started again, so that's a good sign because my sleeping sucks because my mind never shuts off. I guess having her next to me comforts me. It's 330 am and I'm still awake so it's a safe bet to assume she's not next to me.
  2. Yep oh well for taking it slow. We have slept at each others house every night since last Sunday except for one night. We have stayed up every night talking about things in the past and what bothered each of us. We have ironed out a lot of our issues and were trying to work on them. I do believe her reasons for leaving and some had to do with a dying loved one she had to take care of. She's told me that she never had someone like me love her and she didn't know know what I meant until I was gone. She had wanted to reach out months ago but she has too much pride and also figured the way she left me I could never get back with her. It was actually her daughter that convinced her to get in touch with me. I have noticed changes for the better in her. I do believe the things she's says but I'm holding back cause I've seen her cold hearted and never thought I would see that. She's come from a really rough childhood and she has mental and stability issues. The mental issues I can handle cause I'm pretty crazy up top too, it the stability that worries me even though she says it's not going to be an issue. Our kids are more involved in this last time around. She's the one I love bottom line but I will hold back as long as I can. I don't know how to slow things down cause after the honeymoon time is over that's when the real work begins. Only time will tell. I case I haven't figured it out we are both bat shit crazy but have good sides and couldn't be more opposite but there's is that certain "it" between us. Thanks to everyone responding and please feel free to keep responding. Yes I know I should break down my posts into paragraphs
  3. This is a long story but I will keep it simple, I'm just looking for some feedback. I am nearing my forties and have always been the type of guy who likes to date and move on never settling down with a girl. However about 2 years ago I went out with someone and it just felt different. There was just a connection and we fell in love. Then basically out of nowhere she just stopped talking to me, blamed me for trivial things and broke my heart. I was devastated and just thought of her constantly, knowing that she was done with me and could move forward. She has some mental problems and so do I. She reached out to me last week to "test my feelings". Well we met talked some things over, had sex and agreed to try take things slow to get back together. I never stopped loving her but she stopped loving me. Am I stupid to do this again? Am I setting myself up to get my heart broken again? Does or did she ever really love me? Can I really take it slow? I'm so confussed yet happy at the same time. Why can't I just move on
  4. I had the same issues when upping my adderall years ago. I started taking Chelated Magnesium mornings and night with water and the tingling feeling was gone in about a week. Do you get enough magnesium?
  5. I don't recognize the number I don't go near the phone. Simple as that
  6. Sounds exactly like the world I'm living in now. That feeling is kind of like the world and everybody in it is like just passing me by and I'm stuck looking like the "fool". With this makes my OCD go through the roof. I was probably no help to you but your defiantly not alone. I just started on Wellbutrin XL and hoping that can trigger some inspiration and motivation. Good luck
  7. I had a seizure on the ultram. Never again with that filthy pill for me. Good luck
  8. I can't find a psychiatrist that " gets " me. I have an appt. next week with someone new. I got a lot running around upstairs and pray I can just get back to my baseline. I've been through a ton in my life and finally realized that I've lost my mind. Thanks for asking
  9. I guess this is for all the checkers out there. How long does it take for you to leave the house to go to work? After I'm eat, shower and ready to go it can take anywhere from 15-30 for me to MAKE SURE all doors are locked and everything unplugged that might cause a fire. Saddest thing is I know I've checked everything but ONE LAST SWEEP of the house won't hurt. I have to wake up at least 30 minutes early to give myself enough time to check. It drives me nuts. Now summer and the heat is coming around I usually pack my trunk with anything I think may cause a fire. This is so frustrating. Anybody else?
  10. Oh yes. When I'm hypo manic I obsess over so many things it just starts to drain on me and I usually get none of the major stuff I'm obsessing about done. Instead I'll detail my car, landscape my yard to every inch, exercise, basically anything to draw my attention away from the major things that need to get done I'm obsessing about just to obsess about something less trivial. I'm sure that makes no sense and I'm just procrastinating and makes my anxiety worse the following days. Some days I'm all over the place others I'm locked in fear.
  11. First time post just want to say hello to who I don't know but hello. Am I crazy? Oh hell yes I am but I have no idea why but guess that comes with it. I'm a taste of it all, O.C.D. , addictive personality, bipolar1, ex addict, could go on forever but I'll stop here. I can deal with those things I guess but it's the voices inside of my head that have me wondering around in space. Anyway hello.
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