Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

ananke

Member
  • Content Count

    1,841
  • Joined

  • Last visited

7 Followers

About ananke

  • Rank
    Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Woman
  • Interests
    Puppy videos and survival

Recent Profile Visitors

5,015 profile views
  1. 4am and only had a couple of hours sleep. effing cold

  2. It's going to be terrible. Once again getting screwed over by Westminster. M*****f*****'s. Apparently no lessons have been learnt from the past
  3. Ultimately (ironic given this threads conception) it seems Brexit was the thing that screwed Lab up the most. Not saying there weren't other issues but the Tories won predominantly Leave seats. The Tories had the united Leave vote, and probably the vote of people who 'just wanted to get on with it'. Hoping Scotland will have an easy journey to Indy2 but given the way things are going it seems unlikely.
  4. I am so stressed about this damn election and I feel like I already know the result. I have a 'I don't like David Cameron' t shirt which remains evergreen. I say remain... turned out to be leave in the end
  5. Gear I have nothing to pray to other than a hope that humanity will get its shit together, but who knows at this point.
  6. Since this seems to be a British politics in general kinda thread, anyone else wanna hang around election night? I would dearly love to be proven wrong about the outcome, but the chances are we're getting another x amount of years of Tory bullshit. Sorry, but figure that most of us at least aren't pro austerity loving, cut-making, poor/disabled people hating bastards. Anyway guess I'll be around for some gallows humour. Maybe G(r)ove(l) will fall into a puddle or something
  7. That's scary close. The worst thing is the bravery of the people who stepped in probably saved a fair amount of lives. Effing idiot responsible wanted to be a martyr for gods know what.
  8. i swear sometimes i think these little episodes come back just to mess with me and remind me that, no matter how far i've come, i'm still walking on the same damn road with no end in sight. for the last few weeks, my mood has been super unstable. i think part of it that i got really obsessed with new nerdy interest, and on top of that my sleep quality has been poor, and probably some other reasons. i just saw a totally innocent video on youtube that involved two people kissing, and i got... so upset for some reason. like, truly disgusted at an adorable scene. then annoyed at myself for getting upset. mostly i've just been feeling really sad i'm scared. i don't want to be back in this place. i have some holiday time booked next week, and i was thinking of cancelling it because i have nothing planned but i think some major self intervention is needed. even with the aforementioned factors, i haven't felt this unstable in so long. a few months ago my therapist and i were laughing at the idea that i was borderline because it made no sense given how the symptom patterns didn't fit at all. urgh... i'm putting this here because the sections on cb are grouped by diagnosis not symptom and well eff me, technically bpd-traits are still on my diagnostic list. i am doing all the normal good stuff- eased up on emotionally triggering things, trying to keep to a normal routine, etc. i won't be able to see tdoc til the beginning of december and it's already been a few weeks.
  9. To be fair, it was deeply unsettling to me that I was suddenly expected to work at things. Not being spoon fed or in nappies (UK for diaper guys) was upsetting due to my natural laziness lol. This also makes it sound like we monitor other peoples BM's as well, so let me personally reassure non-OCPD individuals- I don't care how often you poo. Hope that eases some minds
  10. Sorry, complete sh*tpost (no pun intended) but I found this article on the OCPD subreddit and it made me laugh. I won't bother linking it, as it's quite clear the guy who wrote it has only ever read books on it (and bad ones at that) Apparently I should be seeing a GI doctor not a therapist 😂 Look, I did Freud 101 as well, and I know there's anal retentive and anal expulsive. Maybe Freud's psychosexual stages can be the new Zodiac? I won't date anyone stuck in oral, they just haven't matured enough for me...
  11. the idea i've been going with is that i cannot, in any meaning way, shape or form, help my ex. they are a being unto themselves, and from what i remember have literally no desire to change or ability to care about the people they hurt. so instead of trying to reason out why my ex did what they did, i focus on myself, since i'm the one person i can meaningfully change. the reason i say this isn't to start going 'what could you have done differently'. it's more that it often feels like more than one betrayal with interpersonal trauma, and one of those betrayals can come from within. how could i have let this happen, why didn't i do this or that, why am i still angry, etc. trauma can split the self into pieces just to cope. and those pieces can be mad at each other, even if it's counter intuitive. i think i go on a lot here about self forgiveness, and im certainly not an expert in it, but it has helped. since i think you are still in contact with your sister, and other family members, the best advice i have is to seek a mediator. a good family therapist should have experience with these things. but since i've never done it, and i can imagine why it would be very intimidating (or any other factor that would be prohibitive), that might not work for you. i don't know. i wanna give you real life experience but i'm unfortunately the kind of person who will passive aggressively bring up past hurt in an argument, then feel terrible and try to make up for it big time. not a cycle i'd recommend. another one of those betrayals are all the people who stood there and could have noticed, but didn't. yeah, i understand why you can't just 'let it all go' when no real change or justice has happened. maybe go back to your tdoc and say 'yeah heres why that doesn't work for me'. can't force forgiveness if it's not willing
  12. Welcome welcome! As echo said, welcome to the not-BPD personality disorder club! No hate to the BPD-ers, we're all in the psychological dump together. I'm sorry, I can't help you with HPD specifics, but very open to chat about having a PD in general. One thing I got to grips with is that the reason PD's sound kind of normal is because (with some exceptions) a lot of PD traits are just normal human personality traits that have been pushed to extremes. Extreme circumstances (abuse, trauma, ACE's) force extreme responses (PD's). The way I break down a PD diagnosis is that there are two components- normal personality traits pushed to an extreme (e.g. perfectionism, dramatic, anxious) plus a general cluster of MI symptoms (e.g. delusions, mood instability, obsessive behaviours). Hope that makes sense? I try to take my PD symptoms with a pinch of salt. There are a lot of OCPD things that hurt me (chronic suicidal ideation for one) so if a symptom is bothering me, I address it. If I pick up that my tdoc or loved ones are concerned or frustrated with something I'm doing (like my self righteousness haha) then I try to take the feedback. But I'm not an inherently bad person. I found ACT to be really helpful. I think I try to work on being a version of 'me' that I can be proud of more than most, and especially those without a PD. In short, having a PD doesn't make you a bad person. If there are aspects of the Dx which you can relate to and they hurt you, you can work on them. But you don't need a personality transplant. You're still full of the same flaws and draws as everyone else. TBH the most debilitating parts of my PD are the MI symptoms, though the perfectionism et al isn't great either. Also yes, there is almost nothing out there by way of supportive resources. BPD-ers probably have more than most but that also comes with higher awareness and stigma, so 😕 And if you think it over, research, talk to other pdocs and still say 'this really doesn't sound like me', still come talk to me. I was misdiagnosed with BPD and I have a lot of thoughts on that (again, no hate to BPD-ers, not your fault). I was on the wiki page for HPD and misread 'rapidly shifting emotional states' as 'rapidly shitting', which says way more about my personality than this effing diagnosis.
  13. one of the small mercies of the current brexit period is that whatever crap thing trump says has been bumped off the news. got to appreciate the little things
×
×
  • Create New...