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About ananke

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  1. Thanks Geek, argh it is stressful. I'll wait to see what they say to me. If they asked me to take a break I'd be ok with that. I don't want it to affect my work. I did have to tell them, since I was asking for time off they needed to know what specifically was the issue. Part of the stress is that I was meant to tell them this on my initial form but didn't, since it's a condition that now affects my work, and that might be a serious problem. I feel like an idiot on top of being stupid.
  2. Stressful day today. I feel like I'm being torn from every direction. I keep getting different advice from different people. Although new job people sound lovely, I also worry that I've messed up to the point where they could be justified in terminating our contract (long story). Tried talking about it with family and since they are going through their own problems, they were a little frustrated. My dad feels that my therapist is being unreasonable and should move my hours. Tried pointing out she has other clients and after work is very popular, but whatever. This whole mess is my fault anyway. I've had to 'out' myself to my employers because they needed a reasonable explanation for the time off, so now I feel pretty vulnerable about telling them my PD. This is, to be clear, my fault and not anyone else's. I don't know, I feel tdoc made me feel better about asking for accommodating hours but my dad thinks I'm pissing off employers because it'll mess up my training. So do I be assertive or do I just say maybe no therapy until I can do later? Literally the best case situation would be where employers wouldn't know about therapy or OCPD at all. But here we fucking are so 😕 anyway I keep crying and being dramatic so could someone snap me out of it
  3. Unfortunately the only session available is the one I'm currently doing, which makes the working day somewhat difficult. 3pm plus an hour to get there. Hoping that once I get qualified enough I can work from home that day, which would make things a lot easier. I'm calling them up on Monday. My tdoc said that other people have flexible hours and not to immediately assume they're mad at me, but I can't help it. I think it's best keeping it as general as possible. Depending on where you live I think it's illegal to ask specifically what medical reason it's for.
  4. I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time. For what it's worth, my reading was that this book was not for the person with a PD, but for others to 'tame' the mentally ill individual. Are you seeing anyone to try and help you with this?
  5. Wow it's very sweet of you to go to all that trouble researching! Dang you did more that I did. Yeah, fortunately it's a small business and they seemed more about me getting alone with the team moreso than my skills and education, so hopefully that'll help. I certainly want to be as nice as possible, since they just hired me and I'm not a very assertive person, but I will put my foot down if I have to. I think my best option is to go back to them and say 'very sorry, thought I would be able to do this out of office hours but it appears that's not the case, would I be able to do x hours once a week?' since I already told them I didn't have any conflicts. I'll make it clear this wasn't me deceiving them it was me incorrectly assuming I could change my hours.
  6. I'm in the UK so ADA doesn't apply, but I think I'd feel better saying I had a medical appointment or some such. You're right, I think they'd be less willing to say yes if I said it was for a second job.
  7. Haha my dad says something similar I hate not knowing when I'm eating sugar, it makes me feel a lot worse. It's like being trapped in a room with no clock. Cooking shows are a good distraction, I like watching videos of street food. Such an impressive array of skills, but still very accessible. Sorry you are having a day Gear?
  8. I mean, I kind of get why parents get flexible hours, but it would be nice if disabled people got leeway as well. I used to work with a lot of mums and from their stories it sounds like they only got the flexibility they did because it was legally mandated. Didn't mean their careers didn't suffer or there wasn't some level of judgement.
  9. A few years ago, my tdoc worked evenings, but since then she moved practises and I started seeing her at mid afternoon instead of late afternoon. This was fine, since at that point I was either a student or a part time worker, so all I had to do was make sure those hours didn't intersect. Only now I'm going to be starting a new full time job (in a months time) and for some reason I didn't think to check with my tdoc what her hours are now. I feel like she told me she only does 9-5 a while ago, but I forgot. My new work place sound kind of flexible, but it was a sort of 9-5 or 9.30-5.30 kind of flexible, and I don't know if they'd be willing to let be go an hour or so earlier one day a week. My new line manager said she works from 8-4, and if I could do that then maybe my tdoc would be willing to see me at 5-6 or something? Unfortunately work and therapy aren't close by (just checked, it's about a 50 minute bus ride give or take ten minutes) The other issue is how to raise this with new workplace. Since I currently have a part time job, I was wondering if I could phrase it as needing to arrive early/leave early once a week so I could work for that job. At the interview for NW they asked if I had any prior commitments that might affect work timing, and I stupidly didn't think of therapy, so I said no. If I say part time job wants a few hours a week, would that sound like a good excuse since it came up after the interview? Does anyone have any suggestions for how to ask for flexible hours due to therapy? Should I be honest and say it's for therapy, or white lie and say it's for another job? I'm very willing to make up for time, I don't want fewer hours but I also really don't want to lose this therapist.
  10. Yeah, even the OCPD reddit has people dropping in saying 'my husband treats me terribly, please tell me what you do with your terrible husbands?' just... the lack of situational awareness and so much GD armchair diagnosis. Sometimes 'fighting' is exactly what the person doesn't want, there are folks out there who actually are ready to die as comfortably as medicine will allow. It's hard but you gotta respect peoples wishes. If you don't finish or have to ask for help, you will have to make a therapy appointment. I'm so glad a giant corporation is taking the time to take mental health problems like pissed, DGAF and yaaaaas seriously. I have a family member who was diagnosed with pissed (it was me) and it's just been a huge learning curve for all of us. There are a lot of people who will think this is a disgusting and shameful money grab aimed to drum up publicity, but I truly believe that 'salty meals' are going to cure me of my personality disorder!!!!
  11. Indeed, plus it'd be pretty hard to talk when you are a bull. A shit sandwich is the exact review I'd give this book, not that I read all of it
  12. Not being alone only takes you so far. Like great, there are other people with OCPD out there, but I have very few resources that aren't just the DSM copied and pasted into a blog post. Other people having PTSD from abuse does not make me feel better about my own, and if anything it only highlights what a massive problem abuse is in our society. When your whole friendship group is dealing with some level of mental health problems, it sort of feels like everyone is just taking turns at being the one who needs the most help. Again- can we move towards doing rather than just talking ffs! The NHS is dying. Arrghhh grumble grumble Urgh, the dialogue around cancer is so weird. I really dislike any narrative around people 'fighting' illness. I think it's just designed to make people watching the inevitable try to feel better. Like if only they could just fight a bit harder the cancer or suicidal ideation would go away. It's really shitty, but sometimes it just won't, and no amount of 'fighting' is going to stop someone dying. I understand why it exists, but I don't think it's very helpful to the person living through it. Wasn't there a good documentary on the whole pink washing thing? Echo, lets start our own OCPD day. Everyone has to stay in their house and have a panic attack about not doing any work, then reorganise the fridge (condiments, then dairy, then vegetables, then meat, all in alphabetical order left to right. God help you if you think meat should be above raw produce). The colour theme is black and white.
  13. I cannot cope with the unexpected, especially guests. Family friends once showed up for a 'surprise' visit, just as my parents were going on holiday. Guess who was left to look after them... I don't think my mother's ever forgotten how I took that news! It's also a case of I can tell when I'm getting worse when I start letting things go. Staying awake until 4 because it's the only time I get any energy, not bathing... so routine also helps me feel sane even when I'm so-so. Planned randomness indeed! Sometimes even the chronically scheduled need some chaos thrown in haha What are you guys best depeople-ing habits? Mine is watching soothing, repetitive videos, like someone making an aquarium or currently skateboarding competitions. It's less about the content and more about the predictability
  14. One of the many issues with PD's is how they were named. Narcissist is a common enough description that people can either mean it generally or (if they read a single Psychology Today article) in terms of the PD. One of the features of NPD that I've heard is extremely low self esteem, which wouldn't describe a lot of the people who are called narcissistic. They're trying to rename a bunch of them. BPD is sometimes Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (which IMO sounds even worse) and OCPD can be Anankastic PD (hence my name!). The problem is is that a psychological rose by any other name still smells as stigmatised.
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