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jyk55

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  1. Its been a few years since i have last posted on this wall :) , Its been along few years trying to work out whats wrong with me but i have finally found justice in my confusions , After speaking to 6 phycs , one who is a specialist in schezophrenia and one who delt with bi polar alot . Basically due to my grand father and father dying , i went threw a few years of ruminating thoughts and alot of self doubt , I am not bipolar and i am not crazy , From what they tell me i just have a very odd way of looking at things and dealing with the issues that surround me , I am still on 50 mgs of serouequl XR as a sleeping aid because mainly because i go days without seeping , Its been along road from where i was to were i am now i can confidently walk down the street again and smile, im working 34 hours a week again and life is dam good :) ill pop back here every now and then so i can remind myself how far ive come , t

  2. 600 seroqeul 4 mg risperidone and I am in the the process of geting cbt but its along process were iam
  3. I obbseive about everything in my life just when I think I have conquers one thing it attaches its self to another which pushes me in to deeper depression coupled in with schizophrenia I often question waking up but its the cards I've been delt if only I could ocd something useful. Maybe I can
  4. It wont stop the intusive habbitul nature of my mind it wont stop meditation dont work and they've got me on risperidone when I clearly dont have a pyhscotic mind the doctor wont change my meds it wont stop I want to be happy like I use to be I am really about to give up on life why me I was always the nicest person so open minded but these violent sexual thoughts are killing me slowly but they are why are we cursed with ocd s seriously why did our all mighty curse me with this. Mind frying crap i just want to be able to be there for my kids and wife like I use to be Sorry I needed to vent
  5. Take the meds the fear goes away I look at it like this 30 minutes of pleasure vs 23/1/2 hours of pain taken away note this is my personal experience plus my doc subscribed me vigara to fix it lol
  6. Can drinking and meds stop or slow down the progress of risperdal? Just curious I know it can work your liver pre hard please no rage genuine enquiry cheers be nice to learn peoples thoughts on the matter
  7. maybe if i could rapid rid my brain of all this crsp

  8. maybe if i could rapid rid my brain of all this crsp

  9. Just another empty soul bound to drag on

  10. Well Hello My name is jayike you can all call me jyk (I hope this is the right forum ) So about 10 months ago I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and put on to a dose of zyprexa olazipine . since the days rolled on I got swaped to risperidone which isn't doing diddley squat my doctor wont change it the voices in my head tend to laugh at my attempts to rid unwanted thoughts about being gay(which iam not) evil thoughts about stabbing my mothers partner , and basically telling me the complete opposite of what I really believe in deep down , well I cant really relate to deep down because the 6 mg of risperidone I am on at the moment take away all my emotions aside from crying when I watch the news wtf I never cry . I no longer have sexual erges which as a 21 year old or any one knows this is not fun . I have no connection with loved ones I say I love you but really hasn't got much meaning other than a word . basically I just wanted to talk to some other "crazy" people "nutters" as I am refered to bye all my "mates" who have disappeared funny that I was told bye my pysch that I am suffering from a drug induced physcosis not schizophrenia which is funny because in between him answering his phone during our session and walking out putting the aircon on freezing when he could tell I was cold (I was wearing a bloody singlet) and his poor English skills which I had to refer to my physc nurse for assitants in understanding him I got rather frustrated so I ended up agreeing with what ever he said. so basically what led to my problems starting were my grandfather and father died in the same 8 months my mum lost her house I was being bullied at work and I delt with it bye smoking 2 grams of weed a day which I know a lot of you will say its my own fault and I agree with you there but I am were iam at now and that's trying to desphyier what I keep telling myself is just my concuissions but I am beginning to belive that I am actually hearing voices not like when some one talk to you but your own head telling you messed up things can any one enlighten me I now see a new doctor who also picks up his MOBILE during visits and refuses to swap my medication hes words "i see every one for a range of problems' which leads me to think he doesn't know squat about my condition aside from being tossed around to 5 different places looking for a physch I am over it lol . this is a short get to know me I could've gone on for hours please exuse my spelling because I am a high school drop out I cant help it thanks for reading jayike
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