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About Inanlae

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    Student Against Pain

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    Middlewest, USA

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  1. So I'm pretty sure that my pdoc is ghosting on me. My Ativan refill is due, and he just denied the refill request.. His office won't take my call. Has anyone successfully done a two day taper? Scared.
  2. I've been applying for jobs. I just quit a new one because I was too anxious to make the commute. I've been checking the disability box. How do you know when it's time to throw in the towel on working? Have you been able to find a job that works with your disabilities? My GAD manifests as social anxiety and agoraphobia. It seems to be getting worse. I was too anxious to meet with a new tdoc today. How do you even begin to qualify for disability in the US? How do you get help when you can't help yourself?
  3. My experience with an IOP was super positive, though I've heard IOPs vary. I would try to get a sense of the particular program's reputation before committing. DBT skills, when I remember to use them, are SO helpful. Regarding agoraphobia (I'm in hiding right now), I took low dose Ativan before attending. I'm going to use a combination of medication and DBT skills to take my dog for a walk (not easy for me). You're brave for looking into this. I see this was in February. Did you end up doing the IOP, @Byron-Black?
  4. Mine is radical acceptance. It centers me. I had a ring made, with the initials "RA" to remind me. Honourable mention to "ride the wave" and "opposite to emotion action." More reminder rings to come.
  5. Both. Addicted to Ativan. When I can't get enough, I take Benedryl, ZzzzQuil. Breakthrough depression and anxiety. Current cocktail is not adequate. Reached out to super busy pdoc. Hopefully he can get me in sooner than January!
  6. I'm not on any Klonipin. 3mg Ativan/day. I think I have both dependence and addiction. I've done some bad things to avoid withdrawal. : (
  7. The ultimatum because I'm exhausted all of the time. I'm going to work with my pdoc to decrease it. I'm allergic to Lamictal.
  8. Depression seems to be becoming less responsive to treatment. Anxiety seems worse too. I have experienced some cognitive impairment and exhaustion, possibly due to long term benzodiazepine use. I'm trying to wean off Ativan now. Cognition seems better, initially, but the anxiety is worse. I think it's time to change my cocktail again. Maybe I'll try Seroquel next. I've read good things from my fellow GAD-sufferers on CB. I've gained weight recently, but nothing is worse than depression... maybe a panic attack.
  9. Keep fighting for yourself, @orangey123. I deal with hypersexuality too. Prostitution has also crossed my mind in my lowest moments. And I tend to burn bridges when depressed. Write down what you know to be true when you are not hypomanic. Put them where you'll have to see them, so that if you're hypomanic again, you'll be reminded. My health-craving self has to fight for my diseased self. I advocate for her. I pick her up when she falls down. I keep fighting for her. I keep fighting for me.
  10. Between jobs right now. I got fired after a mandatory hospitalization. Credit wrecked. So much debt. I've fallen down so many times, but my family loves me, and my partner is still with me, even though I think his patience may be wearing out. He wants me to get off Ativan. I watched a video of a grizzly cub climbing up the side of a snow-covered mountain. He kept sliding backwards, down the mountain. But after every slide, he would start to climb again. Eventually he got better at navigating the mountain, and finally he made it to the top. I have to just. keep. climbing. Oh, I have a job interview tomorrow. And I'm meeting with a new tdoc tomorrow. And my pdoc emailed me back. Three good things. Wish me luck, if anyone reads this. Just. Keep. Climbing.
  11. It sounds like hypomania to me. I'm BPII, so hypo- is the flavor of mania I get too. I would talk to your pdoc about it if it's interfering with your life (hypersexuality, etc.). By the way, my partner gets insomnia from thinking about woodworking projects. Interesting....
  12. I tried Ensure-type drinks when I had trouble eating. The vanilla-flavored ones went down easily. Just be careful not to overuse them. I got hypervitaminosis, which can cause problems.
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