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nonuser

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Everything posted by nonuser

  1. Hi there, I no longer use Crazyboards and do not wish for my account to exist.  Would you please delete my account and associated posts and images.  Thank you!

    1. Velvet Elvis

      Velvet Elvis

      We generally don't delete accounts and content unless it's a doxxxing type situation.  We prefer content to remain visible so that others can benefit in the future just as you benefited from the posts made by those who were here before you.   

    2. nonuser

      nonuser

      OK, is it possible to change my username then to "nonuser" so that it can't be searched under my previous name?

    3. Velvet Elvis

      Velvet Elvis

      Done.

      It might take a few hours for it to change on all your old posts and comments.  

  2. .......................................................................
  3. Oh god, I have been having weird dreams. I am always myself, but a lot of times my husband is there too, and 50% of the time he is some horrible personality that is NOTHING like him in real life. Let me tell you, these dreams seem so real I feel that we are in a different dimension. But I've concluded that even if that is the case, my husband is a different guy in those dimensions, but in THIS reality, he is nice and I can trust him. I've also had out of body experiences and other strange dreams in which I am myself, but a real passive, watered-down version of myself. I hate those. Keep in mind I am not on meds so I have no idea if what I'm saying is anything close to helpful.
  4. I have a question about this topic. I have "heard" my husband's thoughts out loud. I feel that I am psychic and I can sense people's thoughts and emotions. But only twice I heard it out loud. I feel my husband is hiding something from me (infidelity type thoughts) but he says it's not true. He really goes to great lengths to convince me otherwise but I don't believe him. Is this a normal thing or is it a symptom? BTW the thoughts I heard were just something mundane, not anything bad. The infidelity is just a feeling I get.
  5. Can't sleep, still up worried. My symptoms are worse at night. Paranoia and seeing "ghosts" in the room. I am completely convinced my husband has had it with me and is plotting to leave me when the time is right. Still, he says stuff like he will never leave, he is very serious about our marriage and he loves me. He even tells me he prefers me a little crazy because at least I'm not boring. He told me the other day that we are soul mates and eternal companions. I don't know why I can't believe it in my heart, the things he says. Two years ago I was a mess and he stuck with me through it all. I don't know why he'd leave now, when things are good. I don't deserve him. I keep seeing my dead relatives in my dreams and they talk to me about weird stuff. I also often dream that my husband and I are talking, and he is pissed at me and saying terrible things that make me wake up crying. I feel crazy. I took some over the counter lithium. Not sure if it helped.
  6. Sorry I couldn't read the whole thing, but I skimmed it and the first thing I would say is to ditch your Mom. Sorry but she is probably the cause of your psychic ailment to begin with. She sounds like a toxic person to you. I know this is easier said than done and I understand because I have a similar love-hate relationship with mine, but mine is a little more supportive (marginally). Other than that, the previous posters covered it. Maybe just cut back on the stressful situations. Good luck.
  7. I don't have SAD but I do find that laying in the sun helps me a LOT. I used to avoid the sun like the plague but I find I do need it to feel good.
  8. I take 5000 mg supplemement and maybe it helps, not sure. What I do find helps, is laying in the sun which is another way to get Vit. D.
  9. I am currently having an episode of something, not sure what, but I am without a pdoc and the next one won't see me for another 2 months. Unmedicated. Which is dumb, I know. I think I am coming off normal to people, but inside I am extremely anxious and paranoid. I am convinced my husband is DONE with me although he tries to convince me otherwise. I have enough sanity left to realize that nothing has changed in our relationship. It's just my feeling. I've been hearing people "say" things about me, malicious things, but I can't tell you what they said. You know that horrible anxious feeling you get when you are ill, well I have that. But what I want to ask in this thread is this. I've been having some bad dreams. That my husband is having an affair and leaving me, etc. Every freaking night (when I am able to sleep, that is.) But I feel like they are premonitions. I really feel like God is sending me messages. Y'all, I know about psychosis and I know this is a symptom. BUT I BELIEVE IT. Last night I had a particularly bad one where I was I was talking to my husband in the bed next to me and he was saying lots of cruel things to me, that he would never say. Stuff like he didn't love me and he would have left me but it was too late, etc. I FEEL that we were in another dimension and he was actually saying these things. I told him that this morning and he laughed it off, saying "Real me is better than dream me. I'm never going to leave you. We are eternal companions".... etc. Funny thing is, our marriage has been really awesome lately (despite my anxiety) and he thinks it is so good that I am just afraid it's too good to be true. He does not believe I have bipolar. He thinks I am just really anxious and silly... I could write more but I shouldn't make it too long. Just tell me the horrible dreams are not real. Please.
  10. I was symptom-free and without meds for almost a year. Then last month I had a stress trigger and I went into an episode.
  11. Hello, I used to be a regular here for a while. I have a little problem that I am not sure what to do about and I remembered this board so I came to ask. Backstory: Diagnosed bipolar type 2 and have been off meds for a year, doing OK. I have been in a bit of denial about having a mental illness. Even so, I went through training to become a NAMI group facilitator and that just started this month. We've had two meetings. Herein lies the problem, and it is IRONIC. The NAMI group is stressing me out and has apparently triggered a psychotic episode. For the last few weeks I've been deteriorating, but holding it together. I feel strongly my husband is being unfaithful, although I know he's not, I FEEL it, and I believe I am psychic, and I see things flying around in the room and I think it's dead people, I see dead people in my dreams, I have horrific dreams which I believe to be precognitive, and I feel my family is saying horrible things about me behind my back, (though they are acting normally), etc. I am nauseous and shaking and I can't eat, I lost 5 pounds in three days. I haven't slept and stay up all night crying. SO obviously I need to be on meds, but I really really don't want to go back on meds. I feel they are poisonous, and made me gain 70 pounds which I have almost lost now, finally. My family thinks I am just highly anxious, but they think it is in my best interest to quit the NAMI group. If I quit I will be leaving them without another trained facilitator but it is a MUCH bigger job than I signed up for. It involves many things I was not prepared for. Really what they are asking me to do is a full time paid job for nothing, which I don't mind except I am not mentally healthy right now and I need to step away. 1. I don't have a pdoc right now cause I ditched mine, because she prescribed me those horrible Abilify. I was a dead person on Abilify. 2. My whole family thinks I will be fine if I step away from the NAMI group, and lessen my anxiety. 3. I refuse to go back on meds 4. NAMI will be pissed at me if I leave but I feel I have no choice; it's not because I am lazy, but because it's making me psychotic, behold the irony. Please help
  12. Thanks. I took the MA pill right after we had sex. I got a positive pregnancy test two weeks later, then miscarried the next day. The OBGYN said it probably was the pill that caused it? I dunno. Not seeing a Tdoc right now but maybe I should...
  13. Hi guys. Been a while. So, I have had some drama. I went off my meds a while back, in October or something like that, because I was thinking about having a baby. I had a couple of hallucinations (?) of the baby talking/ singing to me and I started getting kind of weird. So I did get pregnant, however I freaked out and took a morning-after pill which caused an early miscarriage (and I am reeling from the guilt of that.) After that I decided I did not want to have a baby after all, but I wasn't SURE, so stayed off meds. Then I started having thoughts and dreams which caused me to think I was psychic. Along with severe anxiety and weird thoughts which I believed (and still believe) in my heart to be true, I realized I most likely had some psychosis going on. Which was confirmed by my Pdoc today. So back on Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin was good for me last time I took it. Pdoc wanted to put me on an antipsychotic as well but I told her I wanted to hold off on that. She also said I either have psychotic depression or mania (I think it's mania because I have severe anxiety right now but not depression.) Hope you guys are doing well. Special hello to my friend Flash.
  14. Stressed, anxious, super irritated about the holidays and other things.
  15. Thanks, y'all. I didn't know if I was out of line for being angry. I dislike my sister intensely for many reasons and this is just one of them.
  16. I have to hang out with my 30-year-old sister who is a total Facebook whore, lives with my parents because she doesn't want to work, she'd rather sleep till noon every day and spend hours on her hair and makeup. She pretends to be an "artist'. Her personality is extremely fake and annoying and she says the weirdest things. And my other sister is coming too, she is similar in that she's a narcissistic bitch but we've gotten along well the last few years. Not to mention the racist grandpa who recently has been forbidden to drive (his greatest passion in the world) so he will be extremely pissy and hard to deal with. And my dad will be annoyed at him and will probably yell and stomp out of the room as usual. Then, I have to go to my inlaws. I mostly love my inlaws, but it is always stressful because I don't know what sort of rude comments hub's grumpy old grandma is going to make. After Christmas, we have to visit another branch of hub's family who currently has a dying ex-husband or something living at their house. I don't mind but hubby is dreading the awkwardness. There will be pictures...which will end up on Facebook... and I am fat and look like shit. AND I AM CURRENTLY UNMEDICATED...... I'm trying to enjoy the holidays.... My kids and I have been baking, making gingerbread houses and drinking eggnog. I hope that these are the things I will remember and not the annoying parts.
  17. Hey, can you get in to see your pdoc before Christmas perhaps? I wonder if she can give you a med tweak in time for the festivities.
  18. Kids home from school and it's raining, so: - Bake banana bread - Complete section of business plan - Maybe do some cleaning/ laundry.
  19. Wow, I didn't realize declawing had been banned in some places, and that it was considered inhumane. My cat is declawed. We had it done when he was small, and he seems perfectly cool with it. Of course, we would never let him outside. There is a danger that a declawed cat would accidentally get outside and then be vulnerable in the outside world, though. Frankly, I'm glad he's declawed so that he won't scratch our kids. They like to pick him up and play with him, and he doesn't always feel like playing. I wouldn't have a cat that was not declawed around kids. A cat scratched my mom's eye when she was young and she nearly went blind.
  20. Facebook is not good for people with bipolar or alcohol issues, trust me, I know!!! That's partly why I'm not on it anymore.
  21. I think moving away from parental units is healthy for most adults (unless you have a super awesome relationship with them, and who does??). I wish I could... my family bugs me.
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