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About Reza23

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  1. Yeah, it's the seroquel causing the twitching. In fact, I have developed tardive diskenia from it. Not significant TD, but noticable for sure. I've since come off seroquel xr, which I was on for 1-2 years, at about 300xr. Now, I take tegretol, but I can't sleep without the 50mg of seroquel. I'm working with my p doc to find something besides seroquel, though it has been difficult.
  2. Greetings, So I HAVE to be on tegretol for mood stabilization, least for the mean time. Nothing else works and I've tried pretty much every other mood stabilzer. Though, tegretol messes up my sleep, like I can't sleep on it, and if I do get some sleep, I feel sluggish and exhausted like I didn't sleep at all. Insert seroquel. I take between 50mg-100mg a night of instant release seroquel. However, I have developed some twitching from seroquel. I'm looking to replace the seroquel with something else that will help me sleep. Any suggestions? I need something that will counteract the tegretol's 'wakeful' effect. Normally, I don't have a problem with sleep, but on tegretol, I do.
  3. I try not to 'associate' myself with the impulses. Only recently have I realized my impulses or OCD arent 'me'. Still sucks, but its far easier dealing with them.
  4. Alright, That was way overboard. I wasn't in a good place at the time, and furthermore, on tegretol, I tend to get angry very quickly at little things. I have to monitor that, though it's much easier for it to spring up during bouts of suicidal depression. At any rate, that was still uncalled for, so, I apologize for the Bitch/period remark, 'crtclms'. So first off, let me say that I have been using what people have posted. Someone brought up the idea of seeing a pharmacologists, and I've been calling up pharmacologists. I mean, I do use the feedback I get on here. Least it does, it gets me thinkin. From there, I'll have insights that'll make a big difference. So I do appreciate the help. A lot. What I don't appreciate though, and now I'll say it from a rational place, is people nit-picking and taking what I said out of context. First off, what I said, to my family, those who eat cookies, was if they were going to eat it, and have it in the house, fine, just hide it from me. Hide it. Simple as that. Put it in the covers, wherever. And no, I didn't 'threaten' them with throwing the cookies way... I promised them ;-). In fact, one time, I did do it. I threw it away. They learned their lesson. . NOW, I did mention, it was extreme. And that one needed NOT go as extreme as I did... so our awesome moderator over here was nitpicking and taking what I said and spinning it rather immaturely(might I add) because she doesn't like me. I warned that what I did WAS extreme, and that one needed not go there. HOWEVER, this isn't the best example of what I was trying to convey, but there was a point I was trying to make. It's that when we, particularly us 'crazy' people, go into a rut, or depressive period, we take actions that aren't good for us, ie: eat cookies for example even though they'll make you depressed/ fuck up your motivation for days to come (like me and cookies in the winter) or obviously, even worst things. This goes for everyone. Here's a better example, Rather then say, "Oh, I'm just not going to eat cookies", which most likely will happen when I get in that rut, I can say, " I'll pay my brother 5 bucks every time I eat a cookie" or to tell them to hide the cookies from you. Perhaps me 'threatening' them to throw the cookies away was a bit much, but they weren't hiding it well enough! And I could do that, given I live with my family. And you know what, once they got I was willing to throw it away, they hid it pretty well. They rarely get cookies anyways. So I'm not saying follow my example of 'threatening' to throw away the cookie, but you gotta make the circumstances such that your goal will naturally occur by altering your environment the best you can. And honestly, it worked. From then on, they hid it pretty well. I'm not going to get And just an FYI. I also have SEVERE adhd, that's pretty much untreated because of my difficulty finding bi polar meds. So on top the INSANE sugar cravings that seroquel gives, on top of the life is Grey and without color that seroquel gave me when I was on it, on top of the loss of severe motivation that winter gave me, my severe impulse problem that comes along with adhd makes things even worst. I mean, do you have any idea how quickly people gain weight on a drug like seroquel? How dare you insult all these people like myself and say we don't have any 'self control'. I know people, who are fit as hell, who gained 60 pounds over a summer from one of these kinds of meds. The med changes your mind, it makes it crave sugar, and not only that, it completely changes your metabolism, to where you don't metabolize foods correctly, and all the weight goes to your stomach. And I was on A LOT of seroquel. Not just seroquel at night, I'm talking XR, constantly being pumped in my system 24/7. And just so you know, once I chose to stop that, I lost 25 pounds easily, all through diet. Fortunately, I didn't get fat on seroquel BECAUSE of my self-control. I constantly weighed myself, worked out as much as I could, which was little, but enough. I stuck to a diet as best as I could. But with these sorts of medications, you can do everything right, and still gain weight. They don't just make you crave sugar, they change the way you metabolize food, so I can eat the same things I can now on Tegretol, yet on seroquel I'd gain weight. So considering how much I was dealing with, the fact that I was on it for almost 2 years, and I only gained 10-15 pounds is pretty damn good. It's common for people to gain that same amount in a month! By doing things like asking my family to hide the cookies, I was able to not gain the kind of weight that so many people gain easily on seroquel. I ate pretty good too, but it was a metabolism thing mostly. So that's why I was so anal about sugar. Plus it's never one cookie, it'll turn into a cookie nightmare with seroquel. So like I said again, I didn't ask anyone to BAN the cookies, just to hide them. Was it extreme to say I was going to throw it away? Yes. But did it work in the long run? Hell yeah. And I'd do it again... And you know what, I CHALLENGE YOU to go on Seroquel and see how much 'self control' you have... Now about the man vs women thing when it comes to work. So I feel for you that your daughters father isn't in her life, both as a father and as a provider. Just know that it's a hard time for men these days, even though you'll dismiss that and give it any thought. That being said, yes, I believe instinctively (and so do evolutionary psychologists, geoffery miller is a good one. ), that a man has more of a desire instinctively to work than women. Our species has been around for a 500k years. Our first human 'cousins' have been around for about 3 million years. If you know even the tiniest bit about evolution, you'll know it takes A LONG time for even the simplest change to happen, like thousands and hundreds of thousands, to millions of years depending on the complexity of change. The basis of evolutionary psychology is taking a look at how we humans evolved, and how life was for us and therefore explaining our motivations, wants, feelings, needs, etc. based on our HISTORY of life, not just a couple hundred years, but a couple hundred THOUSAND years, and even millions. In this time span, we were living in hunter-gatherer societies, where men hunted/gathered, defended, kept order in the society, and fought other tribes and women took care of the cave, the family (which by the way is by women are better at picking up subtle social signals on average than men, because social skills were far more important in their lives where was strength was ours), and perhaps gathering food/fruit/nuts and stayed this way for all of these years, lets go with the 3.2 million years. So in the eye's of evolution, men were given physical strength and a tendency to be less afraid of physical things at least because of it, (which is why women get scared at Halloween scare events and how the actors always go for the women because of it) and women were given a superior 'social' brain in a sense, because they took care of the family and kept things in order socially. Men were the providers because we were the one's physically and mentally equipped to deal with lions, other tribes who wanted to kill yours and take you to rape you, finding and hunting food, etc. For the most part, this holds true, though there's situations, which are contrary, but rare. Any who, 'civilizations', only began popping up 6k years ago, before that, we were living in groups of a 100 or so people max. Still, the world was a pretty dangerous place overall. Now things have chilled out, and we've just gone from a 'physical' world to a knowledge based world. Now, it doesn't matter that we're stronger, men and women can compete for the same jobs, save military ones where combat is required. An overwhelming majority are men. Though women can fly the helicopters, and operate machinery. So remember when I said evolution takes a long time to change? Because it does. Us men, we've been created to be the hunters/gatherers, and the providers, to provide the food, to protect, etc, it's part of our IDENTITY, which these days means money. I'm not arguing against need. It's great that women can go out and work, and work for themselves. And if you NEED it, you need it. Though it's so much easier for a woman to find a man to support them then it is the other way around... hmmm, why is that? So yes, I believe that men suffer much worst than women when it comes to not having a job because it hits us at our core, we don't feel like a 'man' without a job. So yes, I'm suffering more than a women in my same situation. Because I'm being support by my family, I'm having an easier time than you, I agree with that. Though my point is, men suffer more from not being able to work or not having a job, or shitty job than women, MUCH worst, just like women suffer more in regards with not having a strong social circle/family. Believe it or not, it's effecting all of us. Until evolution changes this, we should be aware of it. In fact, there's female feminist authors that are telling women to focus on this very thing, to focus on their social lives rather than their careers when hitting adulthood. As well as their relationships with men. By the way, I'm not against equality. Though I will say, I'm against man bashing, which is happening all the over the place today in our culture and fucking up men's lives... though that's another story indeed. At any rate, my brains super cloudy, so it's hard to even write this. Perhaps making a video will be better. I think i'll do that from now on. Hopefully you get my point... though if you don't, use google on some of them at least that it can be used on. Google is your friend... Any who, if you don't like me, you don't like me, but get your facts straight. I'm on here to get help on what I'm dealing with, and perhaps be of help to others in the process. ps:. You gotta understand, I'm 23 and I live in a generation where these words are thrown around all the time casually. If it's offensive to anyone, I won't use it. Not saying it's right, Though, don't be judgmental before understanding that we live in a different generation. I'm not talking about what I said to ergot, I'm talking about retard and cunt. By the way, I hear women call men Dicks all the time... but men don't get upset about it. In fact, how in the hell is it wrong for me to use the word 'Cunt', and yet this 'lovely' lady above me called me a Dick? So much for 'self-control'... What just because I don't have a 'Cunt' (Of which you are. Doesn't feel good does it huh? ;-) ), it's ok for you to use the same kind of genitalia insults on me and get away with it without even a warning? I think not...
  5. As a staff member, I'm appalled by your comments. What is this some personal vendetta? (why am I not surprised) What's that supposed to mean you rude, might I say, BITCH? Do you not have anything useful to say? You should be ashamed at yourself putting up some hateful and nasty comment as a 'staff' member... how dare you? And as for the point, for which you idiotically took out of context, and of which I mentioned was something that was extreme, and one needed NOT be as extreme as I was, if you want to quote that for me, that be great, though I do live with my family, so I can afford to tell them something like that. I'd rather not commit suicide or get farther into depression in the deep wintry months of which I am so vulnerable on, and when something like a couple cookies can lead me down a road of hell/depression... and if you've ever been on Seroquel during that time, or any time, you'll know how EASILY your mind tricks you into taking sugar, particularly during a time like that. So yeah, I can afford to make a 'threat' like that, given I live with my family. My health and well being are more important then their 10 seconds of satisfaction from their cookies. Besides, they don't really know what it's like to be in that state... and from the sound of it, you don't either given the way you just replied to me. That or your on your period... for which I really feel for you, I do.
  6. To lysergia- Hey, there's a certain innate instinctual need for men to 'work' and 'hunt and gather' so to say, as it's been passed down since the dawn of our species many years ago... perhaps I ought to find how other men in similar stances cope with it. I don't think it has to do with cultural expectations as far as working feels for men. Though I'd say a lot of cultural expectation has been put on women to work, and honestly, I don't find it the same nor do many others, even some feminist authors are now telling women to focus on their social lives/friends/family and get that 'solid' as well as their relationships with men as innately, evolution has made us a certain way, and just because this new 'culture' is different then the thousands and thousands of different cultures before it, evolutionary psychology, of which I find the most truth it given it's based on looking the past, and making sense of our thinking through how our ancestors behaved, makes the most sense due to how evolution takes a LONG time to change. Our minds, are adapted for a different time many argue, and in my world, makes the most rational sense when comparing situations just 20 thousand years ago, why we did things, and why we do things now. I urge you to take a look. Nonetheless, I feel you on the 'worthless' feeling. I definitely connect with you there. And perhaps what is cultural and needs to change is the way mental health is treated. It's not looked at as a 'physical' condition by most, but some 'psychological' laziness that someone needs to just 'shake' themselves out of. Which really upsets me. Yeah, I got lucky there finding that solution to the problem. Very lucky. It upset me how my doctors/therapist didn't figure it out... cuz I had gone to them for advice, and they couldn't figure it out. Yet simply by altering my diet I changed my life during the winter/fall months? It was amazing. I think curiosity is our best friend and best ally here. We have to be curious and search for the answers. I searched for an answer for something else, and it turned out to be the answer for this problem. I suppose pretty cool. On that note, I will say, when your back's against the wall, when your put in a situation like me where when the winter hit, I lost almost all motivation, I wasn't able to leave my house essentially, no going out and socializing, not many friends, no dates, no girlfriend at the time which it made it even harder, not working, barely finished school, no going to the gym, couldn't get myself to work out, and almost all the time asked my brothers to go get my medication from the local giant store in my neighborhood only a 1 minute drive away, when you get that low, you'll do anything to get out of it. So, sugar was really hard to cut out, harder then caffeine, or alcohol, but I knew I had to. Ever since, I'm extremely careful on sugar, even on my 'cheat days'. Though now that "winter is coming" (lol for my GOT fans), I will cut out sugar/caffeine for good, and rarely drink alcohol socially. Oh, and a piece of advice on the cutting out part, don't think that your 'superman' and can do anything. If you want to truly cut something out, you have to remove yourself from it or alter your environment. For example, I told my parents and family, if they were to buy cookies, they MUST hide them, or I will throw them away. Yes, I did say that. Because I had no control over myself when I saw those cookies. Especially being on seroquel at the time. It compounded the wintry effects. Maybe you won't go as extreme as me, but you need to remove the 'threat' so to say from your environment or tell the people living there to hide them from you so you don't see them. Don't trust yourself in the moment to do the right thing unless you've built it in as a habit. Even then I'd be careful because of our very sensitive moods. If I'm in a depressive state, even if I have a habit down, I may eat those cookies, though not as much due to my habit, but it could start a chain reaction... then I eat again tomorrow, and then again, and then again, and bam! Next thing you know you got a cookie eating habit back! So, alter your environment, to make it natural for you to achieve your goal! And focus on one goal at a time for 21-30 days. So say you cut out just sugar for the next 21-30 days. Nothing else. No other behavioral changes. That's it. Just dropping 'artificial sugars', fruit is ok, will make such a huge difference in 30 days. And the rest of your life. You can do it! To ecentrik- you have a good point. I shall monitor my vitamin D levels. Though I must say, the cold really depresses me. And since I don't care about buying clothes often, I always feel under prepared for the army of the cold and hate leaving the house for it. Every time I do, I feel the cold stealing my soul... though I suppose I rather get going with shopping and be ready for it. So I do feel like it's more then the vitamin D, though that being said, I will monitor that.
  7. at evilness- Sorry, contempt wasn't the right word. The word I meant to communicate was empathy. To lysergia- Thank you. I feel a lot better after reading that. I'm better now then tonight as well, but reading what you said made a difference. On your points -The 'I don't know' attitude is one which I will thoroughly adopt and use. Your right, you never know what may be behind the corner... -I will contact a pharmacologist next. In fact I'll start looking for one right after this. -I do believe the DNA testing will show/give some clues of to why I'm responding to the meds the way I do - I will bring up the hormone thing with my doctor as well. I'm just really tired, and it's one thing to have to suffer pain, but as a man, not being able to work?... Come on... I mean, I can't take that. Being jobless, forever? And if your physically handicapped , it's one thing, you can still get on a computer and do things. But when it comes to mental impairment on a medication you HAVE to be on... that's the worst. I don't know if I can take it forever... but your point on never knowing what' next gives me optimism. In fact, your point reminds me of about a year ago, when I began experiencing the worst motivational loss I have ever felt in my life. Keep in mind, I'm new to bi polar as it fully showed up only 3 years ago. In VA, last winter was one of the coldest winters ever here, like ever! As soon as it got cold, I began losing all motivation. I barely finished my semester in school. However, that's all I could do. Barely worked out. Didn't care what I ate. And when night fall came, I couldn't go out AT ALL. Spent 3 months pretty much locked up in my room... I had never ever felt anything like this before. Oddly enough, my 'mood' was stable, it was just my motivation.... and it was completely biological, as I had nothing going on in my personal life to feel like this about. It had nothing to do with the meds, as I had been on them for a while, even tried changing them up, and nothing worked. Then my doctor gave me anti-depressants, which didn't work. And I really wasn't depressed... it was motivation. Nothing worked. I was horrified. I couldn't go out and party, didn't have sex for months, and saw my self as a slave to the winter and my fucked up condition... I envisioned how every winter I'd be going through this from now on (given my bi polar is new and how in the winter, our moods/state is sensitive because of the cold) and plotted to quit school early just so I could move to California or somewhere warm, not caring about what kind of job I got, so as long I could escape the wintry hell... When one day in mid January, after 3 months of this shit, and totally missing out on the holidays, I tried a simple diet out to help me function better, not knowing it would be the 'cure' for this disease of loss of motivation I was experiencing... I cut out all processed sugar, caffeine, and alcohol... And within 5 days, I was back to normal! I could go out, and do stuff again! I had my motivation back! I literally felt like I had escaped shawshank prison... and plotted to go to mexico and start a new life! hahaha. The diet didn't cure my bi polar, but it gave back my motivation. I have since learned that when 'winter is coming', my motivation is extremely sensitive do to the cold, so I have to be careful and limit my caffeine, sugar, and alcohol consumption during that period. I have to watch out for my state as well as these things do also make me depressed during those months, but it seems my motivation takes the biggest hit. The most surprising thing about this is how I figured this out myself. No dr. told me to go on this diet. He didn't know what to do. Nor did my therapist. I don't know if they didn't care, but there was this sense of, 'hmm, well, though one buddy, good luck!'... and kinda think of it, perhaps I need to replace my therapist? Not sure he cares enough... At any rate, point being, I figured this out myself! And in fact, it was by accident! The craziest part about this was it was by accident! I wasn't trying to find a solution for the motivational issue during the winter, it was just for something else, yet I accidentally found it through this diet. So, I suppose you are correct. And I feel like I can figure this out as well. Or I'll die trying...
  8. Greetings, First thing, I apologize for the 'ignorant retard' comment. I have great empathy for people who suffer from this condition, which my fate, as horrible as it is, will never compare to... and I'm sorry to those who I have offended. I went ahead and edited that out. Now on to my point. Well, I hope the DNA test will show something... however, I have heard that hyper sensitivity can be treated by increasing/decreasing the metabolism of the medication. Not from my doctor perse, but someone who I see that works in the field. Either way, it's kind of a last shot sort of thing. I think the DNA test will at least give us perhaps some clue's... and will confirm my thinking that my enzymes aren't properly metabolizing these medications. If anything, it'll show us or rule that possibility out. If it shows that I'm a poor metabolizer, which I believe to be, then there's a possibility that increasing/decreasing the metabolization rate might make a difference... I'll find out more tomorrow, the results should be in. Like I said, either way, I don't have much options left... so I'm going to increase or decrease the metabolism of tegretol either way to see what happens even if the results show nothing. Thirdly, the side effects I get from these meds are essentially all neurological. Mainly it's an 'agitated' feeling. Extreme agitation... some of them suicidal... some of them I feel like a zombie/dead (anti psychotics in particular), and that pretty much sums it up. Actually, this is quite a good point, thank you for bringing it up. The 'sensation' is always a sort of extremely agitated, angry, upset, slightly or more so suicidal sort of feeling... but nonetheless, essentially always neurological, and similar might I add... hmmmm. My doctor also suggested that perhaps it could be the way my neurons or neurol pathways work (some 'shit' like that), therefore nothing to do with the whole enzyme and metabolizing theory.. which is scary, though I still am hoping to get something out of this metabolism/DNA crusade, but your point further shows that this may be a neurological thing.... Therefore leading me to ask, what the hell do I do about that? If anyone knows. Fourth- To the "ignorant retard", or rachel, I don't put people down for their opinions nor did I suggest that. I suggested that when someone presumes that I'm lacking the will to get better, and if I want to get better, I'll take the meds, of which I simply can't tolerate because I'm hypersensitive like a madafaka and which I stated before. In that case, they're not only being very ignorant, but down right disrespectful. I can't be on it for longer then those days. I've tried multiple doses of each medication, multiple times. Doesn't work. And if I go too low, I don't feel the therapeutic value. And like I said, I feel the meds working QUICK. And my doctor confirmed that for people who are hypersensitive like me, we can feel the meds working QUICK. And the whole thing about 'sticking' with it... it only gets worst with time. If I could stick on it, I would of. I've taken off semesters from school and even work to just focus on 'forcing' myself to be on these meds. Doesn't work.Unless I want to physically harm myself and put myself through a massive amount of torture, I can't. But thank you for sharing your opinion. At anyrate, thanks for responding guys, means a lot, even with my ignorant remark on the mentally handicap. It's upsetting to me that someone as promising as me, with my intelligence, has to deal with these sorts of conditions while I see people who are half as bright as me around my age soaring past me... some nights, I want to just slit my throat. (Don't worry, I'm just expressing, not going to harm myself) But seriously, I just wonder, why me?.... I mean what if I can't work ever? What if I'm going to be stuck on tegretol forever? Yes, I can survive the bi polar by being on tegretol... but what kind of life will I have? Will I have my girlfriend staying with me? Will I be fulfilled in life? The kind of difference I want to make in the world, will never be achieved by me... I just really want to kill myself. Just rid myself of all this. There, I said it. Like I said, I'm not going to harm myself, so don't call 911 on me, I just want to express how I feel somewhere where people might actually listen. I really just want to blow my brains out. I mean, why, why... wasn't the bi polar enough, universe? Wasn't the severe adhd enough? How about the severe OCD that has crippled me with relationships.... that in fact just got me into a fight with my girlfriend right before this... I mean wasn't this stuff enough? Now, I can barely functions because on top of all this SHIT, I'm hyper sensitive such that the only medication that works, cognitively dulls me to the point where I can't work/go to school... takes my greatest gift away, my ability to communicate, influence, listen to, coach, speak, etc. Too be honest, I may end my life if at age 30 (7 years from now), I'm in a situation where I can't work or go to school... perhaps sooner then that, 5 years from now. That's a good time frame. Don't give me the heaven/hell crap, that ain't real. What is real is choosing whether I want to play the severely detrimental and heinously horrible cards I've been dealt with... or fold. It's already been a miserable and grueling 3 years of dealing with this (I'm 23, and my bi polar began at 20), but I've also dealt with ADHD/OCD my whole life. Though nothing like when the bi polar began... as I didn't require meds before, though now I do as well as the episodes... I'm just tired of it all.. just tired. I have more to give. I have more to push. I still have a drive. I have a heart beat. Though I wonder for how much longer?... I suppose 5 years is a good enough time frame. I'm in a suicidal/depressive state already before this, so perhaps what I'm saying is merely in the moment and just wanting to get my depressive feelings out, though I wonder what will happen if this metabolizing thing doesn't work out and I fall flat of any other meds because of this hypersensitivity issue, and am stuck on tegretol... For now I suppose, lets what happens tomorrow with the results and the whole metabolizing issue.
  9. This person, with sensitivity issues, did she find a way to deal with the sensitivity problem? I just wrote a post about it. Check it out. Did she perhaps try changing up the metabolism of the medication using another med? I'm currently getting my DNA tested for specific gene pathways that deal with medication metabolism. I believe I'm a poor metabolizer, and by manipulating the metabolism of a medication, I think I can deal with that hypersensitivity issue, least in theory. We'll see, waiting for the results to come in. See that's the thing, I can't even do that. I can't even be off meds for 1 day. Too painful. Least she can do that.. fuck the depression, or mania, I'm in pain/ extreme agitation ALL THE TIME. That's what I'm trying to convey. And top of that, yes I get the episodes too. It has something to do with my extreme ADHD that I also have. Be happy you don't have both people... Oh, and sorry it takes so long for me to get back. Writing a post like this on Tegretol with the extreme mental cloudiness, lethargy, and loss of motivation is akin to writing an essay...
  10. Greetings. Long story short, I've had a number of medications work for my bi polar, but their side effects have been so high, even on itty bitty doses, that I couldn't tolerate them for more then a few days. And yes, I know it worked for me, because the way my body metabolizes medications, I get the effects within a day. But so I also do with the side effects, and for whatever reason, they are way more amplified then they would be for normal bi polar people. Thus, I'm down to one medication that is 'working' for me. I said working for me because while it does treat my bi polar, I'm essentially disabled. I'm on Tegretol on 400 xr and just this small dose gives me mental cloudiness to the point where I can't work or go to school, so pretty much disabled. Even physical things are somewhat difficult to do. I know mental cloudiness to be a side effect of Tegretol, but most do not experience it anywhere close to the point of literally not being able to go to work or school because of it. And may I remind you, I'm on 400 xr? Nor can I go any lower, otherwise it becomes non therapeutic. At any rate, I'm getting my DNA tested (CytocromP450 , genetic path ways 2D6, 2C9, 2C19 for any science guys out there) to show how I metabolize medications, and hopefully with that, show whether I metabolize them too slow or too quick, in hopes that if we alter the metabolization of say tegretol by adding another medication to slow it down or speed it up, perhaps the side effects can be diminished or lowered significantly at least in theory. Oddly enough, I don't have issues with ADHD medications, of which I also am diagnosed with, at all. I mean, I take low doses of it, but essentially, I'm fine on ADHD meds, as long as I take it with a mood stabilizer of course, because I do have bi polar, but other wise, I'm fine. I am pretty sensitive to medications overall, though with bi polar meds, it seems to be at it's most 'intense' when it comes to hyper sensitivity. Like crazy intense. Anyways, question. Has anyone ever dealt with this before? Has anyone been THIS HYPERSENSITIVE to medication? Let alone medication you need to survive? How did you treat it? What did you do? Did it work slowing down or speed up the metabolization of that certain medication? Did you get side effects from the med you took to try to speed up/decrease the other med? Please, someone tell me they know some whom this worked for. I fear that because of my hyper sensitivity to these meds, I'll be stuck with tegretol and not being able to work for the rest of my life... and I'm only 23 for universe's sake! ps: Going off meds doesn't work. Tried it. Psps: List of medications for bi polar I've tried that didn't work- -Seroquel -Lithium -Clozapma -Risperadal -Trileptal -Verpamil -Latuda -Sapphiris -Klonipin -Abilify -Xyprexxa -Geodon -Lamitcal -Topamax -Depakote -Symbiax Am I missing anything? That's pretty much it, label, and off label. There may be some other ones hidden in the closets of way back in time during psychiatry, but whatever they give me, I'm going to be hypersensitive too in all reality. So The plan has to be to treat the metabolization of medications BTW -none of these was I able for more then 3-4 days due to the extreme side effects, on baby doses mind you. And please don't be an ignorant asshole and tell me, "If you want to survive, you'll take em for longer". A) I can't because I have a hypersensitivity issue. The side effects get so bad so quick, I can't leave my bed if I don't stop taking them, essentially I'm put on bed rest. B) If I didn't want to survive, I wouldn't be writing this, and instead, using my laptop charger as rope to hang myself and the lap top it self to smack you across the forehead. So please, understand.
  11. What I'm trying to communicate with you guys is I CAN'T tolerate the side effects. And with tegretol, I've been on for 7 months, it hasn't gone away my friends. I'm telling you, on all the meds I've tried, I've literally forced myself to be on it for as long as I could... but then when I start not being able to leave my bed, or I start feeling suicidal... the side effects are too much. This shit generally happens within 3-4 days. I ain't shitting you. I've tried some meds 5 different times... same result. It's exhausting and demoralizing... I don't know what's up with my brain, but it ain't responding to meds the way most people do. It has to be some hyper sensitivity perhaps perpetuated by my severe ADHD. So yes, I do want to 'live, more badly than anyone... but I'm not in control of this bullshit...
  12. By treatment resistant I mean that like the meds will have much more side effects than for most people. On low doses of tegretol, 400xr, 200day, 200 night, I get intense mental cloudiness. That's not normal. It treats my bi polar, but otherwise, my life sucks. With the other meds, because of the side effects being so high, I can only tolerate them for like 3-4 days. Literally, I can't tolerate t more than that. Perhaps the question is why am I so sensitive to medication? I mean, tegretol essentially does treat my bi polar, but the side effects are so high it's horrible. And I've tried almost EVERY single other bi polar med out there, and none of them I was able to tolerate save tegretol.
  13. Thanks guys. I've tried both trileptal and provigil. Provigil was a trip... I'd take a crum of that and I was through the roof. What do you mean if I'm treatment resistant nothing natural will help me? Perhaps the drugs suck for me?
  14. So, I've been extremely treatment resistant, and I've gone through everything and anything, you name it, I've gone through it, for bi polar. All that's worked is tegretol, but it makes me so foggy and mentally exhausted, I can't work or go to school. Like literally. Due to being treatment resistant, the side effects of meds hit me super hard. Nothing has worked to quell the side effects either by trying different meds The one thing that's left is clozaril, but given my experience with all the other bi polar meds, I doubt it'll work. Therefore I must begin looking at alternative solutions. Anything and everything. Normally I'm against anything but meds, but in mys situation, every options is open now. So, give me a list. What are some alternative solutions. Don't give me ECT... I ain't trying that. I was looking at the magnet one though. What else? Give me everything that worked for you guys that wasn't meds or someone you know.
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