I've never heard of anyone having this problem before. I have what I'll call 'phone phobia.' I have an extremely difficult time calling people and especially calling people I do not know.
I've been in the dumps for about a month now. I've seen my primary doc and he's advised that I see a therapist again (I had seen one in the past, but she died last year). The problem is I'm terrified of making the call to someone and can't even bring myself to pick up the phone. I'm too ashamed to ask anyone to make the call for me. Right now, walking into a hospital and telling them I want to kill myself seems like a better option than picking up the phone.
I'm not suicidal, by the way. I wish I would die, but I don't intend to take my own life. My partner doesn't really understand depression and just wants to know why i'm so sad so we can fix it. When I tell him that I don't know what the problem is and that it's depression, he tells me that makes no sense and leaves the room. I'd ask him to make the call for me, but I can't bring myself to talk about it with him. I feel so alone right now.
I feel like i'm just rambling. Any insights would be appreciated.