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Mike Ragnarok

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Everything posted by Mike Ragnarok

  1. I'm working on a teaching career, primary and secondary, in the USA. I'm pretty functional now that I'm on stimulants, otherwise I'm a mess. I'm in a program where I volunteer full time in a school as a tutor, in order to get experience to go into a residency which will get me my license. There is almost a complete masters degree worth of classes I'll be taking in the process. I haven't disclosed to anybody in my program. Any thoughts?
  2. I did a google image search on "random word", and Ragnarok was the first vaguely name-ish word that popped up with a sound I liked. Later, I thought people might think naming myself Viking Armageddon meant something (it doesn't, I'm not apocalyptic, I don't think I'm badass) but it was too late.
  3. It's complicated. I was raised Catholic but exposed to lots of faiths. We lived on the road, mostly Mexico and Central America, but also Europe, India, and Asia. The idea that any one religion was the whole picture never made any sense to me. My religion at this point comes down to compassion and respect for people and the beauty of the universe. Religion is about the relationship between me and not-me. Where my MI comes into the picture... Back in 2001 I had a pretty bad round of depression and possibly PTSD. I went on wellbutrin and had good results. Before that, I thought I was my
  4. I've worked in places where people quit to go to school, or back to school. Nobody called them traitors or held it against them. Everybody moves on some or later.
  5. I was in the same spot a bit over a week ago. Today is my last day at the job. It freaked me out too. My boss took it better than I expected, particularly since I wasn't able to give 2 weeks notice and my work group is swamped with work. If they like you, they want what's best for you. If they don't, they still have to act professional about it. In writing is absolutely the way to go. Most places will ask you to put it in writing if you quit in person. Writing it down takes your emotional stuff out of the picture. If you use email to communicate with your supervisor, it's an entirely app
  6. That dynamic recentering sounds interesting. I'm not using mine for anything that deep. For me (at least so far) is all about being able to find my notes and reminding myself of related things. So far I only have one cross link. Otherwise it's really just a different way to look at an outline. In fact, I can export it to an outline if I want to. But the graphic layout makes it easier for me to find things.
  7. I live far away from my family, but we are emotionally close. Talked to Mom a few months ago (before diagnosis) about ADD. About struggling, and that some people (didn't single out my SO, or my SIL) had suspected ADD. She seemed supportive at the time, but later called me back and said I'm great and she is really angry that anybody would say there is anything wrong with me. I went ahead with treatment. I haven't told her anything else about it. I've thought about telling her, but it never seems like the right time on the phone. I'll probably tell her when I see her in person next. By then t
  8. It's a valid concern and you need to get good answers from your docs. I also do my own research. But since I lack years of studying medicine (I did go to a very good massage school so I have a tiny amount of medical literacy) my research is mostly so I can ask good questions. But yeah, meds do come with physical consequences. Different meds, different consequences. You have to consider the cost/benefit.
  9. For the next 3 days, I fill out applications on behalf of radiologists for privileges at hospitals so they can read images over the internet. But next week, I start a year of volunteering to help middle school kids who already speak English as a second language get good enough at it to do well academically. During that year, I have to take 5 advanced math courses, mostly (maybe all) online and by correspondence. Yeah, that still exists, I was surprised. At the end of that, if i have my ducks in a row and I'm lucky. I start a residency that gets me a teaching license in a little over a ye
  10. This might be a horrible idea, but it works for me in dealing with pain, and with medical stuff like needles. I pay really close attention and focus on the sensations in a very detailed and conscious way. If I were to apply that to flying (this is hypothetical - flying doesn't bother me) I would rest my hand on the armrest and intentionally feel the vibrations. What does it feel like when the front wheel lifts off the ground? Not how do you feel emotionally, the precise sensory inputs. Not trying to figure out whether it is happening the right way, that's somebody else's job. They charge
  11. Here's the mind map I use most. I blurred some things for privacy.
  12. My tdoc suggested using mind mapping software to organize complicated things in my life. Things like my career. I'm ADD, I need all the help I can get. A mind map is a chart where each concept has a blob and there are lines connecting them. Sounds all abstract, but the concepts in using are pretty concrete and specific. The map I use most starts with "teaching" and has a branch for tests I need to take, one for the residency program, one for my volunteer job, etc. On the residency branch I have a branch for each entrance requirement, one for the tuition, one with the name and phone # of my
  13. I had that earlier this year. Detected via ultrasound. All very mysterious. Not an alcohol thing in my case because I drink about one glass of wine per month. Liver enzymes were about double the normal. Regular doctor suggested losing about 10 pounds. I don't think I'm fat. Not skinny either. Losing 10 pounds wouldn't be a bad thing. Non-alcoholic Steatohepatitis. I know some body stuff, I think I'm not impressed by medical terms, but that sounds damned scary. Went in for a colonoscopy because it was time for that, and they found a polyp full of CMV, which is a real common infection,
  14. I did get the job. More work, harder work, way less money! Yay! But it is going someplace. This is a step in my career, not just treading water. I started a blog to tell the story as it unfolds.
  15. Thanks. Oh,the really scary part is the untreated version of me would think he could pull it off.
  16. Thanks. I'm in the US. The financial part of what I'm doing is daunting. The interview yesterday was for a position that's called volunteer, but it pays a little. The volunteer position gives me a good shot at a residency that will pay most of my tuition in exchange for agreeing to teach in high need areas for a few years. I've got a lot of work ahead of me. The untreated version of me just plain couldn't do it.
  17. I've been taking adderal (20mg, 1/2 early am, 1/4 late am, 1/4 pm) for ADD for about half a month. New experience for me. Yesterday I had an important job interview that took 2 1/2 hours. Usually I have some effect (conversational focus, ability to use the web without falling in a hole, able to wash ALL the dishes in the sink, good stuff) left in the evening. Yesterday, after the interview, it was all gone. Nailed that interview, by the way, and felt good about it. Untreated I'm not at all sure I would have made a good impression, and it would have been very painful.
  18. Recently diagnosed, officially. Suspected for a long time. I've been actively seeking help for almost 2 years. Finally got on adderal, and things are looking up. When I'm working, the screen isn't dancing anymore. I cleaned out a closet last night and not only did I manage to not trash the room the closet is in, the closet is actually clean. That's a new experience for me. So. 54 years old. In a relationship. Was married and abused for 26 years. 4 kids, 3 of them grown, one dead (leukemia). 2 1/2 grandchildren. I'm going to be a math teacher when I grow up. Or maybe I'm just going
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